‘Oh no. No no no,’: Meghan Markle repeats stupid mistake as Sussexes’ PR crisis deepens
Meghan Markle’s latest endeavour to revive her fame, a fresh Netflix show, makes the same mistake that has plagued her for years.
Royals
Don't miss out on the headlines from Royals. Followed categories will be added to My News.
Comment
Oh no. No no no. Please, no.
These were my initial, less than eloquent thoughts upon seeing the marketing for Meghan Markle’s new Netflix show, which apparently involves her cooking, and arranging flowers, and hanging out with her famous mates.
The usual stuff, then. It looks dull, and quite vacuous, and I suppose inoffensive. But the lack of offence doesn’t make it a clever idea.
You know that endlessly quoted line from The Simpsons? “Stop, stop! He’s already dead!” That’s the vibe here, except instead of the Krustyburgler, the battered and bruised victim is Meghan’s understandable yet embarrassingly obvious quest to be universally liked and admired (oh, and well paid).
We could also cite that scene from Interstellar where Matthew McConaughey has a mental breakdown, and bellows, “No! No! No!” through a sort of metaphysical bookcase. Pick your preferred pop culture reference.
MORE: Harry, Meghan’s insane US costs exposed
Great film by the way, Interstellar. If you missed it in 2014, go buy a massive TV and then look it up. It’s on a bunch of the streaming services.
As our always insightful royal expert Daniela Elser has already pointed out, in an excellent piece you should probably be reading instead of this one, Meghan’s latest stab at creating a hit show on Netflix feels like it’s from the same era as that film.
Not just tonally – ah, the naivety of the early 2010s – but also in its aim. This is the pre-Harry Meghan, the wannabe lifestyle influencer, just with more powerful friends.
Daniela wrote at length about the specifics of this show and why it feels so damn off. We shan’t retread that ground. Here I want to talk, more generally, about Meghan and Harry’s persistent dumpster fire of a PR operation.
MORE: Get out: Neighbours slam Meghan and Harry
Observing the Sussexes’ attempts to market themselves, from afar, is like watching a baseball player swing at ball after ball after ball, and watching them miss each one by metres. Actually it’s worse than that, because said player’s manager is over in the dugout, loudly encouraging them to keep swinging, without changing their tactics at all. Strikeouts ensue.
The manager in this tortured metaphor is the Sussex PR team, which has abrogated any responsibility to properly advise its clients on its field of expertise, and has instead decided to do whatever the heck they want, no matter how trite or self-destructive that may be.
Consider: the insufferably self-important branding of their websites and social media profiles.
The insistence upon leaving their royal duties, but still keeping their archaic titles.
The pleas for privacy, while earning cash and attention by spilling their own family’s secrets.
Hobnobbing with the rich and famous, and signing absurdly lucrative media deals, and enjoying the sort of lifestyle most people would find too preposterous to even bother dreaming about, while forever pitching themselves as victims.
These are all clear, stone cold, unambiguous PR strikeouts.
Not one of the stunts Meghan and Harry have tried since their split from the rest of the royal family – and there have been a great many such stunts, the interview with Oprah chief among them – has endeared them to anyone who was not already predisposed to be sympathetic.
So what’s the point? What goal are they pursuing? I suppose it might just be about money, but that’s not the impression you get.
Writing about entertainment news, such as this, tends to be my preferred escape from the frustration and occasional monotony that comes with covering politicians. Or it’s supposed to be, at least. Because the Sussex operation really does remind you of a political media team that has no real, coherent idea of what it’s doing or what its message should be.
It’s polished. Goodness, is it polished. Harry and Meghan use only the highest camera quality. They have extremely competent producers. Yet everything they produce is so banal. So empty. So vacuous and pointless. It’s all form with no function; all optics with no substance.
Remember Meghan’s podcast series? She interviewed some indisputably interesting people: Serena Williams, and Mindy Kaling, and Mariah Carey, and so forth. Somehow she managed to make those conversations boring.
I bring up politics because Meghan, in particular, reminds me of Hillary Clinton in 2016. She appears to be surrounded by people who tell her that she’s wonderful, and that her most inane ideas are revolutionary. It’s a bubble. She genuinely does not seem to understand how people in the real world perceive her.
A show in which you cook, while chatting to celebrities! Oh how innovative. A logo that combines M, for Meghan, and H, for Harry, and looks like it represents a vaguely up-market tea brand! Oh yes, that’s dynamite. So classy.
The public relations experts employed by this couple must realise – they simply must – that none of this crap achieves anything. In fact endeavours like this much-hyped Netflix program actively reinforce the critiques we hear from Meghan’s haters.
Put yourself in the PR team’s place. What is the goal? To debunk the accusation that Meghan and Harry are shallow, and self-absorbed, and fundamentally uninteresting human beings with little to offer. To bolster the idea that their prominence is, actually, a net good for the public.
How does putting Meghan on TV to natter away about cheese boards and flower colours, and to remind people that she’s chums with some much cooler people, achieve that?
It’s a mystifying strategy, bordering on self-sabotage. It defies logic. I genuinely don’t get it. Were I tasked with devising a plan to make Meghan and Harry appear more out of touch, on purpose, I’m not sure I could do any better.
“With Love, Meghan,” is the title of this thing. “Create wonder in every moment,” is the tagline. I mean come on. What are we doing here? What’s with the faux-Disney vibe? Why does any of this exist? These are questions you could conceivably ask about pretty much anything Meghan and Harry have done, to affect their image, in the last five years.
Our best theory of the case is that these two are only trying to win over the US market, and Americans are already primed to take their side anyway. Righto, fine. But you do not need to manufacture that support; it exists naturally. So we must ask again: what is the point of this Netflix show? What has been the point of the Sussexes’ PR strategy, for years?
The answer is quintessentially Australian: dunno.
Twitter: @SamClench
Originally published as ‘Oh no. No no no,’: Meghan Markle repeats stupid mistake as Sussexes’ PR crisis deepens
Royal trouble: Charles hits new low
The British people have delivered King Charles a painful blow as he faces new money and, of course, new Sussex problems.
NYD terror attack victim linked to royals
A UK tourist with links to the British royal family has been identified as the only foreigner among the 14 victims killed in the horrific New Year’s Day attack in New Orleans.