Why HOGO is the new FOMO in a post-Covid world
Living with Covid-19 has changed everything for thousands of Aussies. Many now live with HOGO instead of FOMO. Here’s why.
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With the world finally opening up after two years of lockdowns, not everyone is as enthusiastic about returning to their pre-Covid lives as others.
There is a section of society that is perfectly happy to remain in a self-imposed lockdown of sorts.
Some even say they were extroverts or social butterflies in their previous lives, but are now coming up with every excuse they can think of not to return to the office and the idea of a night on the town fills them with horror.
Where FOMO (Fear of Missing Out) was very much a pre-Covid acronym, perhaps a more appropriate one for the post-Covid era is HOGO (Hatred of Going Out).
The Behaviour Report founder Dan Gregory says more and more people are admitting to having HOGO – which is a more extreme version of JOMO (Joy of Missing Out) – following the easing of restrictions.
“A lot of people are coming out of rolling lockdowns reluctantly,” he says.
“They may still enjoy the experience of going out, but the hassle, risks and downsides (usually other people) tend to outweigh any enjoyment.
“This manifests in those who are sticking with their online shopping, those employees who prefer to work at home and those for whom a pizza and a bottle of red holds more allure than any number of ‘Hats’ or ‘Michelin Stars’.”
Rebecca Philpott, 23, used to be out every night of the week.
The Gold Coast uni student was in five extra curricular clubs, including a networking group and was president of an outdoor adventuring club, which involved organising bouldering, climbing and hiking for groups of people.
She was often out until midnight most nights.
She’s now quit all the clubs and prefers to stay home cleaning, organising and when she has time, sewing.
“I was very much a social butterfly,” she says. “I was always the one arranging and instigating all the events.
“But my friends now say I am MIA (Missing in Action).
“I just want to stay inside, but I can’t really explain why.”
She says looking back at her pre-Covid life, a lot of the time she felt “obliged to go out”.
“It became part of my character,” she admits.
While she says her life was more exhilarating before Covid, she’s now more “comfortable and content”.
She even wishes her uni course was still online.
“It was just more convenient,” Philpott says.
When lockdown first happened, Sydney digital marketing executive and yoga teacher Roberto Damante felt like a weight had been lifted off his shoulders and that he could “breathe for a moment”.
“That anxious feeling in my stomach was gone,” the 36-year-old says.
“The idea of everything opening up again – I don’t feel like I have it in me.
“I don’t want to go to bars drinking and clubbing. I don’t want to absorb everyone’s energy every day. I’ve stopped socialising with family and friends.
“I’ve recalibrated what I want to give the world.
“I’ve become a homebody.”
He says without all the drinking and socialising, he’s now fitter and happier than ever and he never wants to go back to his old life.
“Nobody wants a burnt out yoga teacher,” he says.
“There’s some anxiety that there will be a tipping point when there will be pressure to return to the office.
“I will fight tooth and nail not to go back.”
National Growth Areas Alliance chief executive Bronwen Clark, who is calling for the government to invest in the suburbs now more people are working from home, doesn’t want to see anyone forced to go back to the office.
“The experiment has happened,” she says.
“We proved it works.
“You know the weight of public opinion is behind this.”
Meanwhile, research by consultancy group Retail Doctor found that around one in three currently work from home in some format and of those one in four expect to continue to work five days a week at home.
Retail Doctor, Head of Insights, Anastasia Lloyd-Wallis says people value their time more than they did before Covid.
“Click and Collect is popular not just because of the hygiene factor but because it saves time,” she says.
“Time is a currency and people are now thinking, ‘Is this worth my time’? “We’ve got a new mindset.”
Some people – especially those who enjoy working from home – will never go back to the way they lived their lives before Covid, according to the Australian Association of Psychologists Director Mark Baxter.
He says in many cases parents have really benefited from working from home and dads in particular have been able to bond with their children more.
“Our world has shrunk. In some instances people don’t need to venture out of their local neighbourhood, which some people love,” Baxter says.
“Most people want to work half the week at home and half in the office.
“They want to spend time in their local environment, talk to their neighbours, be with their families more and exercise more.
“I think it is very, very healthy to get that balance,” he says.
“The problem comes when you don’t want to leave your house anymore.”
He says some of his clients, who suffer from anxiety, are finding resuming normal life overwhelming.
“Covid gave them a great excuse not to go out or do things which were out of their comfort zone,” Baxter says.
He advises those who are reluctant to keep pushing themselves to do things they don’t want to do and to remember that being around other people is “normal”.
He says Covid exacerbated a lot of problems in people’s lives.
He says it has been an amplifier to whatever was already there.
“So if a couple were having marital difficulties then Covid made it worse, if a person felt nervous going into certain situations, that may have escalated to become more serious,” Baxter says.
“There has certainly been an unprecedented increase in demand for our services.
“We’ve got the worst mental health crises we’ve ever had.”
A study of more than 1000 Aussie teens aged 16 to 21 by youth mental health organisation ReachOut, found that almost 60 per cent of young people felt more stressed about the future because of the pandemic, especially around financial security.
Jemima Grimmer is struggling to work out how she can live an enjoyable life, with so much to worry about in the world.
The 16-year-old represents more than half of the young population in Australia after an exclusive survey by youth mental health support provider ReachOut found 54 per cent are moderately to extremely stressed about the future.
One in five teenagers said they have sought mental health support because they are so worried.
Almost two in five said their worries began before the age of 16 and as young as 14.
Ms Grimmer, a Year 11 student from Sydney, says she started seeing a therapist last year due to growing anxiety about the future.
At the time she was also stressed out about missing some of what she believed be the best years of her life due to the lockdowns.
The study found that the most common causes of feeling stressed about the future are study and exam pressures (39 per cent), being able to afford the lifestyle they want (30 per cent), being able to survive financially (29.5 per cent), building a career in their chosen field (28 per cent) and their mental and physical health (28 per cent).
ReachOut’s Head of Service Delivery Jackie Hallen says that these new findings show that stress about the future is impacting the wellbeing of large numbers of young people in Australia and that the issue is on the rise due to Covid-19.
“Almost 60 per cent of young people in the survey told us that they feel more stressed about the future because of the pandemic,” she says.
Ms Hallen said the organisation had noticed young people had become more concerned about financial security.
An exclusive new report The Power of Social Connection found the number of people living with depressive and anxiety disorders increased by more than a quarter in 2020 alone.
According to the report, 15 per cent of Australians say they felt lonely and 20 per cent suffered higher levels of stress.
More than 600,000 accessed virtual mental health services.
Calls to Lifeline have increased by up to 40 per cent in the past two years.
Drug and alcohol use also increased during the pandemic, with a government body finding that one in five people were drinking more.
Living through lockdowns also placed extra stress on families and relationships, with incidents of domestic violence increasing.
In Victoria, which saw six lockdowns totalling 262 days, police attended to nearly 93,000 incidents in the year to March 2021, up 7,000 on the previous year.
Meanwhile, forecasters believe 2022 will be the year of the divorce, as the end of marriages are officially finalised following splits during Covid.
The Butterfly Foundation, which supports people with eating disorders, also saw an increase in demand for help as people spent more time online.
“People had a lot more time to reflect on their own body image and that became a real problem,” says the Butterfly Foundation’s Alex Cowan.
Others spending prolonged periods of time online, perhaps angry at the loss of their jobs or freedom, found themselves drawn to violent extremism and conspiracy groups.
Australia’s top spy boss Mike Burgess says “online radicalisation is nothing new, but Covid-19 sent it into overdrive”.
The head of Australian Security Intelligence Organisation (ASIO) says “more time in those online environments – without some of the circuit breakers of everyday life, like family and community engagement, school and work – created more extremists”.
Baxter says he has gained new clients who became conspiracy theorists because of Covid.
He says their fears have been fed by misinformation on Facebook and YouTube where they’ve found like-minded people online, who have reaffirmed their beliefs.
“The pandemic has seen most people in the community, including our customers, feel overwhelmed, unsettled and at times anxious,” says Damien Mu, CEO and Managing Director of the health fund AIA Australia, which commissioned the The Power of Social Connection report.
Mu says losing social connection through loss of employment, or through a lack of sport has been difficult for many.
However, those already vulnerable because of an existing physical health issue appear to have suffered the most.
“Prior to the pandemic 30 per cent of customers undertaking mental health coaching had a physical condition and this has increased to 70 per cent,” Mu says.
“While lockdowns were important to stop the spread of Covid-19, life as we knew it stopped and that was challenging.”
Baxter says the “cost of isolation and loneliness is extreme for some people”, especially the elderly and disabled.
Many of the more vulnerable people in society have decided to stay isolated for fear of Covid.
That even includes some that have no underlying health issues, but who still remain concerned about the health risks.
Mother-of-two Paige McInnes decided not to let her two children attend school this term, wears her mask when no-one else does, and has not had anyone visit her Brisbane home since the borders opened.
“I don’t use the term ‘post-pandemic’ because the pandemic hasn’t ended, despite our government’s efforts to remove all reminders such as masks, QR codes, daily briefings,” she says.
“As a mum of two young children, I’m baffled by the nonchalant attitude of many people, including parents.
“It’s clear that Covid case numbers are still very high, especially in schools, yet most double-vaxxed adults don’t seem to care for unvaccinated children, healthcare workers or the immunocompromised members of our community.”
She believes people are being “extraordinarily selfish” and that we should be increasing protections rather than removing them.
“Opening borders and removing all protections has caused me incredible anxiety and I actually miss the sense of safety and security that came with a suppression strategy, even if it meant occasional lockdowns,” says McInnes, who was an avid traveller before Covid.
She’s now homeschooling her kids Charlotte, 5, and Lachlan, 7, and working on her new business through the night.
She admits she’s exhausted.
Both children are double vaccinated, but she’s not sure whether she will let them return to school next term.
“I once had hope things were going to go back to normal,” she says. “I have less hope now.
“I’ve lost touch with my mum friends as there are no playdates anymore.”
Baxter says Covid was something that was unplanned, but because almost everyone went through it, it ended up being like an experiment.
He says humans are quick to adapt and many have got used to living a more isolated life during Covid.
He says the lockdowns protected people from Covid, but we have all paid a price.
“We were protected but not connected. We have to learn from that,” he says.
Emily Unity thought she had her multiple eating disorders under control until Covid-19 hit.
The 24-year-old, who lives on her own in Melbourne, says when the lockdown happened all her support disappeared in a moment.
“The life I had built to create this sense of self and wellbeing all fell apart,” she says.
“All my safety nets were taken away at once.
“I was on my own in a studio apartment and I was just 20 seconds from my fridge at any time. That was really hard.”
She says since being diagnosed with anorexia, bulimia, binge eating disorder, avoidant or restrictive food intake disorder and compulsive exercise disorder 10 years ago, she has worked hard to find a way to stay healthy.
Part of that involved eating with friends at set times during the week and making a promise to herself to go to a particular restaurant to get food even if she was not feeling like eating that day.
Unity says lockdown also saw her self-imposed rules around social media fall down.
She found herself “doomscrolling” – endlessly scrolling on social media – which had a negative impact on her mental health.
“I know people use photoshop on Instagram but I still wished I could look like some of the people I was seeing,” she says.
“Then I just felt a sense of disappointment with myself. I thought I had got over that trigger.”
During Covid she says she lost control of her eating for around seven months.
Eventually she adapted to her situation and started booking in a lot of video calls at 12pm so she could eat at least one meal a day with others.
“Before Covid I always knew I could relapse at some point, but I thought it might be a slow process. I never imagined it would happen so quickly,” she says.
“When Covid happened it felt like the rug was ripped from under my feet.”
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