SBS Insight reveals the truth about pushing for success and being an over-achiever
NOTHING but two uni degrees will do. You can’t have friends who aren’t on track for success. And only certain careers are OK. Meet the people who are terrified of failure.
At Work
Don't miss out on the headlines from At Work. Followed categories will be added to My News.
NAVJOT Singh doesn’t believe in failure especially when it comes to her teenage daughter Avleen.
The Sydney mother admits she has very high hopes for the 16-year-old and will only let her see her friends occasionally — and only then if they are high achievers.
Despite admitting she would like Avleen to complete a double degree in engineering, she doesn’t believe she is putting unnecessary pressure on her high-schooler daughter.
In fact, she says Avleen often agrees with her strict ways and is determined to do her mother proud.
The pair will appear on SBS Insight tonight to discuss pushing for success and the price of failure.
Mrs Singh will tell the show how she expects Avleen to spend most of her time at school, in tutoring or doing homework. She will also reveal how she hopes she will one day complete at least a double degree in engineering and earn a good salary.
To her anything less, is not an option.
But Avleen, who is in Year 11 at Rouse Hill High School, has paid a high price for her academic success including not seeing friends, and having to give up sport and musical interests to concentrate more on her studies.
Her mother ensures she spends at least three hours in the books every day because, to her, this will be the key to a good career and earning potential.
“My daughter is very determined,” Mrs Singh said.
“She told me she has plans for the next 15 years and acts more like she’s 21 than 16.”
Avleen intends to study a biomedical engineering degree at Sydney University once she completes high school.
Mrs Singh said Avleen understood why she wanted her to do so well and would only let her associate with high-achievers because they were better influences on her.
Avleen herself said she felt she owed it to her parents — who immigrated to Australia from India — to do well and get a great job.
And while this mother and daughter seem to be okay with the idea of pushing for success, it’s not always so rosy for other families.
Sydney woman Nicole Lee said her parents gave her only three career choices — doctor, dentist or lawyer.
The now 29-year-old dropped out of medical school after a few years to pursue acting and her dad still calls her a failure, despite her forging the beginnings of a career in New York.
Ms Lee told news.com.au that while she and her father are on much better terms, they are still working towards “understanding each other’s values and ways of life”.
She also revealed the effect her father’s expectations have had on her self-confidence and how it makes her feel when he calls her a failure.
“It hasn’t done great things for my self confidence,” she said.
“But I hope to make up for that by continuing to fill my life with things that make the distinction between success and failure less important.”
Ms Lee who is working on some writing projects and intends to get a literary agent and acting agent in the coming months, said her definition of success differed from her father’s.
“I define success as living a life that is intuitively in tune with your goals and values,” she said.
“A life of happiness and meaning, good relationships and compassion.”
Swimming champion Leisel Jones will also appear on the show and will tell how she sacrificed a lot for Olympic gold.
She tells the show that you have to give up almost everything in your life to win, and it’s a lonely journey to the top.
Anything less than gold wasn’t good enough for her and reveals how coming in fourth place was devastating, especially when she had invested so much self-worth in the outcome.
Other guests include Gabriella Da Silva-Fick, 13, and her father Anthony Fick.
Gabriella is a rising tennis player who was scouted by Tennis Australia and won the Under 12 National Tennis Tournament last year.
The teen trains twice daily, before and after school, and her father admits he pushes her, which Gabriella accepts because she knows she has to make sacrifices to get to the top like her idol, Roger Federer.
But psychologist Rebekka Tuqiri will tell Insight that pressure is only good when it’s motivating and there can be a big price to pay when things turn sour.
The psychologist, who holds stress management seminars for students completing Year 12, warns too much is damaging and the brain won’t perform well.
Pushing for Success will air on Insight tonight at 8.30pm on SBS ONE.
Push to give every worker 12 extra leave days
All Australian workers could get an extra 12 days of leave a year for severe period pain, hormone therapy and vasectomies, under a new push by a powerful union.
Push to give every worker 12 extra leave days
All Australian workers could get an extra 12 days of leave a year for severe period pain, hormone therapy and vasectomies, under a new push by a powerful union.