The hidden secrets of successful people

GLAMOROUS lives and high flying jobs make them the envy of millions. But behind the scenes it can be a different story. Here is the other, dark side of success.

Intimate details of celebrity chef Nigella Lawson's life have been laid bare this week. Pi...

THIS week, the fraud trial of two women employed as personal assistants by celebrity chef Nigella Lawson gripped the headlines.

The domestic goddess, once renowned for her sweet treats and beautiful looks, was forced to admit to using cocaine and feeling subjected to "intimate terrorism" inside her marriage, where she felt shamed, isolated and unhappy.

It's one of a series of events in recent weeks which have exposed the inner lives of successful people, showing sometimes all is not as it seems.

England cricketer Jonathan Trott was forced to fly home from the Ashes due to a "stress-related illness," while TV presenter Jessica Rowe has also opened up about her battle with post-natal depression, telling the Studio 10 audience she felt like she was "dying inside".

"I had everything in life I could possibly wish for and finally I had this beautiful baby girl but I never felt more desperate and sad," Rowe said on air.

Jessica Rowe spoke candidly about her battle with post-natal depression. Picture: Screengrab/Ten

Insight Matters corporate psychologist Stephanie Thompsom says while people in the public eye might seem the picture of success, there can be plenty going on behind the scenes.

"I've had board members of major banks, clients that would be considered among the top few business people in Australia, with a very grand job title and so on, but it doesn't mean they're necessarily happy doing that," she said.

"People have a social mask and we all wear it for each other ... They say 'I'm miserable, I'm stressed, I'm depressed, but no one else would know.' They continue as normal and just quietly when at home they may be very down in the dumps. Grown men do cry," she said.

In reality, Ms Thompson said those in high profile jobs face the same pressures and daily stresses as everyone else.

"Very senior people tend to feel the pressure of the size of the role … They're managing millions of dollars, or grand projects so an awful lot tends to hinge on them," Ms Thompson said.

"The perception that they're happy and rolling around in their money is not true. Wealth buys happiness only to the point where someone can cover basic expenses but after that people are largely as subject to stress as anyone."

England's Jonathon Trott was forced to return to England from the Ashes.

Ms Thompson said stressful jobs can often manifest as depression, leading to a drop in moods, general satisfaction and wanting to be somewhere else.

While it might sound cliched, she said managing diet and taking time out are two of the most important things that can be done to reduce stress, along with taking note of your body.

"The warning signs are when your heart rate keeps going up and if it happens on a regular basis, or if someone says 'I need to see you' [at work]. It's not normal for that to happen several times a day.

"[Also] tearfulness in a situation that doesn't seem to warrant it, where circumstances are logically OK but you find yourself very upset."

She also said admitting to a problem can be a major relief, particularly among men.

"It's amazing what can be achieved by the alpha male in the group admitting to something like this. It opens up all kinds of conversations."

For help with mental health issues contact Beyond Blue on 1300 22 4636 or Lifeline on 13 11 14

Have you ever felt stressed or depressed at work? Continue the conversation on Twitter @Victoria Craw | @NewscomauHQ

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