Is the work Christmas party hook-up officially dead?
It is the season for work Christmas parties, but one act that used to be normal has become controversial in Australia.
Are people still hooking up at work Christmas parties, or is that embarrassing now? That is the brave question I recently asked.
As I am sure you have noticed, the Christmas season is in full swing and work Christmas parties are happening across the country.
The time has come for co-workers who don’t have much in common to get together and drink alcohol, and everyone has to hope for the best.
It was not that long ago that a Christmas party was also a place for people to hook up, but I have not heard of anyone making out with a co-worker in ages.
I figured it could just be me, but then I started asking around, and all my millennial mates, agreed, the Christmas party hook-up is just not a thing anymore.
As one friend pointed out, no man is worth a potential “HR nightmare”, and another claimed there was no way they’d ever want to appear “horny” in front of their co-workers.
I was not convinced though.
So I headed down to interrogate the good and tanned people of Bondi to find out, and, overwhelmingly, they were against a Christmas party hook-up.
MORE: How to avoid trouble at this year’s Christmas party
Look, fresh out of the gate, we ran into Married At First Sight alum, Nasser Sultan, and he was, well, not against a kiss with a co-worker. But he was also prepared to go on reality television to find true love…. so you can decide what to make of his judgement.
“Abso-bloody-lutely,” he declared. “A few drinks and I’m on anybody’s!”
Mr Sultan took some time out of his surfing day on a Wednesday and made it clear he is looking for love and ready for a smooch at any moment.
“You want to hook up? I’m hooking up with you! I’ll give out my number right now and it is not even Christmas,” he threatened.
No numbers were exchanged and moving right along.
MORE: Potential downsides of workplace romances revealed
A young, shirtless American who was visiting Australia on holiday looked actively alarmed at even the thought of two co-workers kissing at a work event.
Millennials and boomers would not even flinch at such a concept but this tourist Gen Z looked offended.
“That is preposterous behaviour,” he declared. “There is no way people are still doing that.”
I did not dare tell him, there’s literal a whole romance book sub-genre called “workplace romance”.
Another Gen Zer, this time an Aussie who was chilling out in a bikini and going for a little walk, also seemed very startled by the idea.
You know when someone is so confused by what you’re even suggesting, they just start saying keywords, as if they’re trying to wrap their minds around it?
Yeah… that was her.
“It is a work party… it is…. you know…a work thing,” she said tentatively, and then admitted she was not into the idea, although added she wouldn’t judge anyone else.
“Each to their own,” she mused.
Que sera, sera.
One young person, though, said while she wasn’t going to actively endorse hooking up with a work crush at a Christmas party, she reckons it is a risk.
“Happens all the time I reckon. I’m all for it!” she said.
Okay cool. So would you do it?
“I wouldn’t do it though,” she added.
A sensible sun-safe lady in a rashie was not prepared to even accept the idea that the classic Christmas party hook-up was ever a thing.
“I don’t think it ever was to be honest,” she said.
Okay then.
Finally a fun millennial declared that the Christmas party hook-up is definitely not dead.
“I think people still do it. Very much so,” she said.
She added she was married, so out of the game now, but… she was all for it.
“Go for gold,” she instructed.
HR expert Constance Aloe said while workplace relationships aren’t anything new, she’s not exactly in favour of a Christmas party dalliance.
“When people spend a big part of their lives together, connections can happen. But a Christmas party doesn’t come with a free pass. It’s still a work event, and the same expectations apply,” she said.
“If two people are consenting adults and conduct themselves professionally, most businesses won’t interfere in private lives. The real issue isn’t attraction - it’s judgement.
“When behaviour impacts personal and professional brand, safety or reputation, that’s when it stops being personal and becomes business.”
Ms Aloe said Aussies are far more careful about how they behave at work events now, which, generally speaking, is good news.
“It’s not that attraction has disappeared - it’s that awareness has increased. People are far more conscious now that what happens at a party rarely stays at the party,” she said.
“With social media, workplace group chats and how fast information moves, one moment can follow you long after the drinks stop. Most employees now think twice before blurring lines because the reputational fallout is much harder to control.”
The HR expert said generally speaking, hooking up with a co-worker at a work Christmas party was not a fireable offence.
“Leaders don’t need to play moral police but they do need to step in early if something looks inappropriate, unsafe or uncomfortable,” she said.
“A quiet reset or check-in on the night can prevent a very loud problem on Monday. The aim isn’t to shame anyone - it’s to protect people and stop a small moment from becoming a big issue.
“In the end, a Christmas party doesn’t change workplace rules, it just exposes who understood them.”
Originally published as Is the work Christmas party hook-up officially dead?
