Ian Thorpe’s bizarre new role as a pool cleaner

EVERY former Olympian faces their own unique struggle to transition into civilian life, but Thorpie’s story is truly one of a kind.

“It was a natural career progression.”

YOU’D BE forgiven for thinking Ian Thorpe had walked onto the set of a Kath and Kim spin-off.

The former Olympic swimmer has traded in his medals for a new gig as a self-employed pool cleaner in a hilarious YouTube video.

“My name’s Ian Thorpe, CEO and founder of Thorpedo Pool Cleaning,” Thorpe says, in a deadpan delivery that must surely be the result of countless takes, before the camera pans to an inspiration poster of himself, captioned “Believe”.

“I’m pretty experienced; I’ve been in a lot of pools,” he continues, while giving a quick tour. “It was a natural fit for me, and a natural progression in my career ... Starting a small business? It’s hard. But, so’s winning five Olympic gold medals.”

Stashed away in his garage office, the medals are tucked away in a drawer next to Thorpe’s petty cash, along with a bottle of “ special water from where I broke my first world record”.

Thorpe explains that he decided to capitalise on his aquatic achievements by starting a business that makes use of his deepest passions.

“I think we forget how the majority of our bodies being made up of water, being able to clean pools for people now, it’s like I’m cleansing their soul,” he says, the script becoming more bizarre as it goes along.

“Oceans make up 97 per cent of the world’s water. I like to think I’m helping clean the last three per cent.”

Thorpe is shown greeting an aperitif-wielding housewife (“Do you have a pool?” he asks), signing a blow-up pool pony and presenting his apprentice with a haiku-emblazoned employee of the month award.

“I think some people are a little surprised when I come — they must assume someone’s used my name,” he says cheekily.

Thorpe managed to convince some of his Twitter followers that he was serious about launching a pool cleaning business when he tweeted a teaser last week.

After months of keeping it on the down low, I'm excited to launch my next venture... https://t.co/Cs8pYDn2ce pic.twitter.com/Wk5rOklPoG

— Ian Thorpe (@IanThorpe) May 13, 2016

The tweet attracted comments ranging from “all the best” “to please come and clean my pool Ian, I’d have to build one first but it would be worth it.”

Naturally, it turned out to be a brilliant marketing stunt by Optus, which is offering a trip to the Rio Olympics as part of a small business promotion.

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Originally published as Ian Thorpe’s bizarre new role as a pool cleaner