After ‘Adolescence’: How a TV show made Britain confront its problem with lost boys

In recent months, Britain has found itself grappling with a troubling conversation about the future – some even call it a crisis – facing its young men.

Sparked by several violent crimes and a major study, and propelled by the Netflix drama Adolescence and the rise in popularity of figures such as controversial social media influencer Andrew Tate, it has brought to light a critical question: What does it mean to be a man in 2025?

More specifically, what happens when boys – vulnerable, isolated, and struggling to understand their role in a rapidly changing world – fall prey to the toxic ideals peddled by influencers and online communities?

Owen Cooper stars as 13-year-old Jamie Miller in Adolescence. The series illustrates how vulnerable young boys can be when they fall under the influence of toxic masculinity.

Sir Gareth Southgate, the recently retired manager of England’s men’s soccer team, took many by surprise last month when he lamented the rise of figures such as Tate – without naming him – and the “manosphere”, a term used to describe online spaces dedicated to promoting controversial, often misogynistic views about masculinity.

“These are callous, manipulative and toxic influencers whose sole drive is for their own gain,” Southgate said in the BBC’s annual Richard Dimbleby Lecture. “They willingly trick young men into believing that success is measured by money or dominance, never showing emotions and believing that the world and young women are against them. They are as far away as you could possibly get from the role models young men need in their lives.”

Recently knighted after a memorable eight-year term,where he led the Three Lions to four major tournaments and two European Championship finals, Southgate expressed his fear that many young men were turning to these platforms, seeking role models who might lead them astray.

“Too many young men are isolated,” he said, echoing sentiments expressed in a report by the UK’s Centre for Social Justice (CSJ) titled Lost Boys. “They spend more time online searching for direction and are falling into unhealthy alternatives like gaming, gambling, and pornography.”

In a speech that drew from his own experience as a footballer, Southgate highlighted the importance of providing young men with opportunities to fail and learn from their mistakes.

“Success is much more than the final score,” he said. “True success is how you respond in the hardest moments.”

Former England men’s soccer team manager Gareth Southgate comforts players after a 2018 World Cup semifinal loss. “Success is much more than the final score,” he says.Credit: AP

Yet, Southgate noted, many young men today are not getting that opportunity. In their quest for validation and belonging, they often turn to the digital world, where success is too often measured by money, dominance, and the rejection of vulnerability. This toxic ideal of masculinity, he said, as propagated by figures such as Tate, offered a simplistic and dangerous path to empowerment, one that could lead young men into dangerous, even violent territory.

Cambridge Crown Court heard last month that triple murderer Kyle Clifford had viewed Tate’s videos less than 24 hours before shooting his ex-girlfriend, Louise Hunt, and her sister Hannah with a crossbow and stabbing their mother, Carol, last year.

The inflammatory online rhetoric of Tate, who faces charges of sexual assault in Britain and human trafficking in Romania, has found a particularly receptive audience among young men. As the world around them becomes increasingly complex, many boys feel lost – adrift in a sea of digital content that often glorifies aggression, emotional suppression and dominance. For some, figures such as Tate offer a tempting alternative to the more traditional, often unseen models of masculinity that emphasise care, resilience and empathy.

But the roots of the crisis run deeper than the allure of toxic influencers. The Lost Boys report offers a sobering assessment of the challenges facing young men in Britain.

Boys, it says, are falling behind their female peers in nearly every aspect of life: education, employment and mental health. They are more likely to be excluded from school, more likely to die by suicide and less likely to enter stable work. Perhaps most concerning is the increasing number of boys without a father figure. In 1970, just 21 per cent of firstborn children grew up in homes without both natural parents; now, it is almost half.

The report finds the absence of positive male role models – whether fathers, teachers or mentors – is perhaps the most significant factor behind the rise of online communities espousing harmful views. Without proper guidance, many young men are turning to online spaces that perpetuate a vision of masculinity rooted in anger and entitlement.

This, experts warn, can lead to radicalisation, as seen in Adolescence, where a 13-year-old boy murders a female classmate in a violent act of retribution. The series, filmed in England, illustrates how vulnerable young boys can be when they fall under the influence of toxic masculinity, and has struck a chord across the globe.

But many experts stress that it is not just about one or two high-profile figures. Tate is a symptom, not the cause, of a much larger societal issue.

According to Mark Brooks, a male inclusion policy adviser and co-author of the report Boys Will Be Boys, the issues Adolescence raises about disengaged boys, negative influencers and their impact have been known for a long time.

“The same is true of the gender attainment gap. It shouldn’t, like last year’s post office scandal drama [Mr Bates vs The Post Office], take TV to bring these to the fore.”

Brooks’ sentiment reflects a growing frustration that, despite the mounting evidence of young men struggling, the political and educational systems have failed to deliver concrete action.

The gap between boys and girls in terms of academic achievement continues to widen, and the lack of meaningful interventions only exacerbates the situation. One in four young men in the UK is neither in education, employment nor training.

While experts say Southgate’s call for more male role models is a step in the right direction, the solutions to this crisis are far more complex.

While some advocate for an Australian-style age of consent for social media platforms, others argue that such blanket bans will only drive young people to find ways around the restrictions. The real challenge, many argue, is fostering open conversations between adults and young people, as well as increasing social media literacy among parents, so they can better understand the pressures their children face online.

CSJ chief executive Andy Cook warns that the focus must shift from the symptoms of the problem to the underlying issues.

“The deeper truth is that too many boys are growing up without the guidance, discipline and purpose they need to thrive,” Cook says. “Boys and young men have enormous potential. We must stop seeing masculinity as a problem to be solved and start seeing it as a strength to be nurtured.”

In a 2023 research report co-authored by Monash University lecturer Stephanie Wescott, teachers pointed to COVID-19 lockdowns as the period of radicalisation for some of their male students, who had been stuck at home on the internet.

Wescott, who has been heavily courted for her views in recent weeks by media outlets across the globe, says amid countless takes on Adolescence, and the instruction that “we are now to treat boys as uniquely oppressed group whose violent misogyny is justified by their perceived oppression”, people must remember that countless minorities have been materially oppressed and degraded forever and yet not responded with the same hate, violence and vitriol.

“There are some very real social and political and economic concerns among young people, but they are concerns that are affecting people of all genders. They’re not just affecting young men,” Westcott said in a recent television interview.

“So some of it [Tate’s messaging] is actually the influence of deliberate disinformation about men’s position in society, about unequal advantage that is afforded to women and people of other genders and sexualities. It’s very much a victim narrative and agreed entitled narrative that I think some people are finding very appealing. And of course to young women and all women, actually, this is just blatantly dangerous and offensive.”

Other British commentators, such as Deborah Ross of The Times, are also critical of the direction of the post-Adolescence conversation. Ross questions why it isn’t about the levels of violence directed at women and girls.

“This isn’t about the fact a woman in the UK is murdered every three days? This isn’t about the latest figures from the Office for National Statistics showing that the percentage of women, age 16 to 59, who have experienced sexual assault has risen from 3.4 per cent in 2009 to 4.3 per cent in 2023 while rapes have increased fourfold?” she wrote.

Experts say instead of demonising traditional masculine traits such as strength and resilience, society must find ways to channel these traits positively. But many argue a cultural shift alone is not enough. Policy changes are urgently needed.

The Lost Boys report calls for greater support for boys in education, including more male teachers and mentors. Policymakers, it says, must also provide better mental health support for young men, many of whom are reluctant to seek help due to the stigma.

“There isn’t one single policy lever to pull. It’s actually a much bigger problem than that,” UK Prime Minister Sir Keir Starmer, who has backed a Netflix initiative to stream Adolescence free in secondary schools across the country, said last week. “And that’s the devastating effect that the problem of misogyny has on our society.”

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