This is a cruise fit for the gods

The various levels of the Celestyal Crystal are named after Greek gods and goddesses; from Athena on deck 2 up to Zeus on deck 10, where the more modern reveller (hopefully better behaved than the big man himself) can drink at the Horizons Bar, strike a pose on the dancefloor or worship Helios on the sun deck.

Our favourite is deck 5, named after Dionysus, god of wine, fertility, festivity and anything else that makes life fun. Deck 5 is where one finds the al fresco Thalassa Terrace Bar, to which we adjourn after our shore excursions to compare notes on the day and down a few pre-prandial cocktails.

Drinks onboard.

We never call it by its name, oddly enough. Too many syllables by far. To us “deck 5” becomes shorthand for “let’s have a quick shower and meet for a drink”.

Deck 5 is at the blunt end of the ship and where we are seated to watch the port of Piraeus sink into the pink distance on the first night. Up at the pointy end, the captain has aimed the ship at Thessaloniki, Greece’s second-biggest city and an overnight sail away.

This seven-night Idyllic Greece cruise will take in Thessaloniki, Kusadasi (in Turkey), Crete, Santorini, Mykonos and Milos before landing us back in Athens pumped full of historical facts, great experiences and pina coladas – possibly not in that order.

Saint Paul cathedral and gardens in Thessaloniki.Credit: iStock

I, for one, am looking forward to immersing myself in the history, archaeology, architecture, and mythology of a region that has seen the Greek, Roman, Venetian, Ottoman and Instagram empires wash over it in successive waves for thousands of years.

Here, they built the Parthenon, the city of Ephesus, and the Palace of Knossos (of minotaur fame). This is where the once all-conquering Venetians built fortresses at the drop of a cappello (Italian for hat), where the Romans indulged their amphitheatre fetish, and where Nick Giannopoulos filmed Wog Boy 2: Kings of Mykonos.

You don’t so much cosy up to history in Greece and Turkey as end up drinking ouzo with it on deck 5 and wake up in the morning wondering why it’s snoring in the bed next to you.

The Celestyal Crystal entered service as a ferry in 1980. A mid-sized cruise ship that can cater for up to 1200 passengers and 396 crew, it won an award as best ship for shore excursions in a 2018 online poll. But the Crystal has been replaced on the Idyllic Greece route with Celestyal’s newest ship, the Journey, following a $33 million overhaul.

Celestyal Journey caters to 1260 guests in 630 staterooms, 149 of which feature balconies – three times as many as previously – as well as offer more pools, a bigger spa and gym, more restaurants and more bars. Essentially, it’s more spacious, handsomer, sexier, cleverer and younger.

What matters, though, is the destinations, not the Journey (sorry, couldn’t resist).

It’s a short, sharp cruise that can be divided into two sections – the first few days devoted to Athena, goddess of knowledge and wisdom, and the second half devoted to old mate Dionysus with more hedonistic pursuits on Santorini, Mykonos and Milos.

At our first port of call, with Mount Olympus on our left, we bus out of Thessaloniki and make our way to the Epanomi Hills and the Gerovassiliou winery for a wine-tasting and a tour of the estate’s fascinatingly eccentric museum.

Massive artworks are scattered throughout the vines and the museum features a mind-boggling collection of corkscrews that range from the pornographic to the humorous; some look like medieval torture instruments.

Later, a walking tour of Thessaloniki itself reveals a city that manages to walk the tightrope between history and modernity. Thanks in part to its five universities and their students, it’s a buzzy, vibrant port city that retains evidence of the various empires that have conquered and called it home.

That sense of modernity is helped by the fact that two-thirds of the city burned down in 1917 and was redesigned by Ernest Hebrard, a French architect and urban planner. His plan did away with the old higgledy-piggledy street layout and reworked the centre into a set of symmetrical, formal boulevards around the imposing Aristotelous Square.

The Library of Celsus, Ephesus.Credit: iStock

In a very different vein the next day, we visit the sprawling ruins of the ancient city of Ephesus, in the hills above the resort town of Kusadasi in Turkey. It’s one of the largest Roman archaeological sites in the eastern Mediterranean and, while the number of visitors might be a problem for the claustrophobic, this 415-hectare site is intact enough to give you a real feel for how it must have looked in its heyday.

Started in the 10th century BC, it flourished in the classical Greek era and came under Roman republic rule in 129 BC. Among its main attractions are the Temple of Hadrian, the facade of the Library of Celsus, and an amphitheatre capable of holding 25,000 spectators. It was designated a UNESCO World Heritage site in 2015.

Starting from the upper entrance (which, thankfully, means walking downhill rather than the other way around in searing heat) we shuffle along on marble flagstones worn slippery by aeons of feet and come across a bas-relief carving of Nike, the goddess who personified victory and whose name was used by the eponymous sports clothes company. Our guide also points out where the company got the famous Nike swoosh.

There’s not quite as much left of the Temple of Knossos on Crete. Indeed, nobody even knew it was there until a local man, Minos Kalokairinos, dug up a few sections in 1878. Nothing much happened after that until excavations began in earnest in 1900, headed by British archaeologist Sir Arthur Evans, and he continued for 35 years.

Ruins of Knossos, Crete.

Much of what is extant at Knossos today is a replica, the originals taken to the Heraklion Archaeological Museum for display and safe keeping, but it’s quite something, for instance, to see from the reconstructed plans of the site how the maze of its rooms might have given rise to the myth of the Minotaur and the famous Labyrinth.

After this, it’s glitz and glamour all the way on Santorini, Mykonos and Milos.

On the horribly pulchritudinous island of Santorini, we learn about its viticultural history and its unique way of growing vines in little circular plots before visiting the Venetsanos winery. Carved into the cliff face high above Santorini port and with unimpeded views down across the bay, it is possibly the most beautifully situated winery in the world.

In the swim.

Mykonos, like Santorini, is a victim of its own beauty and can get over-crowded later in the evening, but there’s no doubting that its winding alleyways, whitewashed houses, black-and-white cobbled floors, Titian-blue doors and lush splashes of purple bougainvillea add up to something that’s almost breathtakingly cartoonish, like it’s very real and yet surreal at the same time. I regret the €11 beer, though. Rookie mistake: ask first – beauty has its price.

Milos, our final port of call, is a different kettle of fried squid: smaller, quieter and largely devoid of the swarms that descend on Santorini and Mykonos, we take a small boat trip to swim in waters so clear they look like an optical illusion before a traditional Greek lunch in Pollonia, a shy fishing village, and a final stop at the weird and wonderfully white lunar landscape around Sarakiniko beach.

Far too soon, it’s time to get back to the good ship Crystal for our last night. We are happy, plumply fed, salt-encrusted, tired (in a good way) and a little sad that it’s all over.

As our little group is counted back on board, there’s only one thing for it: “Deck 5?”

THE DETAILS

Celestyal Journey at Milos.

CRUISE
Celestyal Cruises’ seven-night Idyllic Greece cruise is a round trip from Athens (Piraeus) with stops in Kusadasi (Ephesus), Thessaloniki or Rhodes, Crete, Santorini, Mykonos and Milos. Rates start from $1069 a person on a double occupancy basis, including dining, onboard entertainment, all port charges and gratuities, daily activities and selected drinks with meals. See celestyal.com

The writer travelled as a guest of Celestyal Cruises.