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How much longer could I spend dodging posts about Trinny Woodall’s eyeshadow?

Instagram has decided I’m a sad old sack. It’s only partly true

An email had warned me I was locked out of my account due to “suspicious activity”. And like that, I lost milestones, breakdowns and my dog’s I Dream of Jeannie costume.

  • Kate Halfpenny

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My mind is a traffic jam of thoughts and ideas.

People tell me I’m ‘one of the smartest’. Do I need drugs to overcome my chaos?

My year 8 textiles teacher complained of me gleefully sabotaging others’ sewing machines. My metalwork teacher called me a “safety risk” to myself and my classmates.

  • Gary Newman
Thousands of recruiters checked out my profile, but not one of them came knocking.

My bad job interview went viral on LinkedIn, but I still don’t have a job

As my post roared past 1 million hits I watched on excitedly as recruiters in their thousands, from Cape Town to Michigan, weighed in on my experience and viewed my profile.

  • Liam Heitmann-Ryce-LeMercier
An X-ray of Fotis Kapetopoulos’ chest after he had a pacemaker installed.

My resurrection took a civilisation, Whitlam and a team of doctors. It cost me $7

If you had a time machine, which era would you travel to? Would you choose Ancient Rome, Ancient Greece – or the ’90s?

  • Fotis Kapetopoulos
Now I start every morning looking like Marcel Marceau.

At 66, I’ve finally declared war on my wrinkles

I stand there every morning, slathering away, full of a hope that is vain in both senses of the word.

  • Richard Glover
33 years into marriage, my husband is my dream man.

At 66, my husband has finally become the man of my dreams

Sometimes I wonder, “Why did we have to wait this long?” But I know the answer.

  • Helen Schulman
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Author Megan Clement.

I’m locked out of voting this election. I feel less Australian than ever

I haven’t lived in Australia for 12 years, but I keep finding myself back here at election time. It’s ironic, really, because I no longer have a say in who leads my homeland.

  • Megan Clement
Share house life can be fun in your 20s, but housing priorities change over time.

Wanted: A rental without a leaky roof or wine stains on the carpet. Am I too fussy?

If I owned an apartment, I’d be installing air con and a dishwasher. Instead, I’m searching rental properties for what feels like a unicorn.

  • Melissa Mason
Elsie Flanagan-O’Neil with her parents.

I’ve moved home with my parents in my 30s and, weirdly, life is better

Yes, there’s a sense of indignity to retreating to your parents’ home, but there’s also something special about spending time with the people who raised you.

  • Elsie Flanagan-O'Neill
Madison Griffiths with her dog, Fil.

An unremarkable mutt in Melbourne, my dog is a celebrity in Sydney

Among a sea of cavoodles and chihuahuas, my gigantic hound, who arguably looks like a wizard-turned-greyhound with a mane, leaves a lasting impact.

  • Madison Griffiths

Original URL: https://www.brisbanetimes.com.au/topic/real-life-614