Bard manners: Why would Laurie Daley’s lips touch this poison chalice?

Let’s defer to the words of former rugby league roundsman William Shakespeare to capture the plight of the NSWRL as it fumbles around in the dark searching for a State of Origin coach.

But in these cases We still have judgement here, that we but teach Bloody instructions which, being taught, return To plague th’inventor. This even-handed justice Commends th’ingredience of our poisoned chalice To our own lips.

Bang on, Billy. Nailed it again. Who indeed would want to drink from the infected schooner glass of the NSW coach?

It seems Laurie Daley or Macbeth are the only viable high-powered options standing at the bar.

Former Blues coach Laurie Daley was a bit of a rugby league nerd even in his playing days.Credit: SMH

The thought of Daley potentially returning next year to “right the wrongs” that led to his sacking - and Brad Fittler’s appointment - in 2017 provides a nice enough storyline.

After conjuring a series victory against Queensland in 2014 with a manifestly inferior team, Daley lost three consecutive series, had his contract extended by NSWRL chief executive David Trodden, then had it ripped up by a board who knew change was needed.

Back then, Daley was coaching against a team featuring players such as Billy Slater and Cameron Smith. If he returns, he’ll be duelling with them again, although this time as coaches.

Daley wants to do whatever he can to help the Blues, such is the quality of the man. When Fittler approached him recently about joining his staff, Daley agreed without really knowing what Fittler had in mind.

After six years of poring his heart and soul into the job with mixed success, Fittler walked away after being dumped squarely on his bottom by NSWRL powerbrokers.

They wanted him to clean out his coaching staff, which he did. He wanted a two-year extension, but they wanted one year, to which he eventually agreed. Then they told him, out of nowhere, the job was being reduced to a part-time role for a reduced amount of money, so he walked.

NSWRL chairman Paul Conlon has been jabbering for months about how poorly Fittler has been treated by the Sydney media following back-to-back series losses, accusing reporters of having an “agenda” against him.

I suspect few have hurt Fittler more than the NSWRL, which had his back right up until the moment when it didn’t.

The comical last line of last week’s media release announcing Fittler’s departure says it all: “The NSWRL board will now invite expressions of interest from coaches to be involved in the State of Origin program in 2024.”

It might have to advertise on Seek.com given how many potential replacements have run for the hills.

The edict about not picking club coaches has been abandoned, throwing open the door for the likes of Ricky Stuart, Craig Bellamy and Ivan Cleary. Yet none of them are prepared to take on the job, which is understandable because of the time and energy required of both roles.

That leaves Daley as the last man standing.

He recently extended his deal to co-host the Big Sports Breakfast on Sky Sports Radio for a further two years. The NRL stopped him from working as a consultant at Manly late last year because the network is owned by the TAB, a wagering operator.

But Daley would be employed by the NSWRL and not the NRL.

The question, though, is why would he want to do it? Why drink from the poisoned chalice that has spooked so many of his contemporaries?

Coaching the Blues for the next few years, against the likes of Slater and Smith coaching the likes of Cameron Munster, Reece Walsh and Kalyn Ponga, already feels like a Shakespearean tragedy in the making.

But Daley conjured miracles in 2014 and could do it again in this second coming. Now, that would be something to write about.

Jumping through hoops

Exactly how much did the NBL’s billionaire owner Larry Kestleman pay for retired Chicago Bulls star Scottie Pippen to preach the gospel of basketball in Australia last weekend?

Reports a few weeks ago put the number as high as $1.2 million, a figure the NBL denies, but various sources, who did not want to be named because the matter is confidential, have confirmed it cost $700,000 to secure the six-time NBA champion as an official ambassador.

Not bad for a handful of appearances over five days, including the AFL and NRL grand finals, while partying with former Bulls teammate Luc Longley.

The NBL identified more than a year ago that it needed to think outside the square to promote its opening round on a weekend dominated by the big dances of the two major football codes.

Wearing a shirt sporting the NBL logo, Pippen was interviewed before the AFL grand final and halftime in the NRL decider.

Pippen and Longley courtside for the NBL season-opener between Melbourne United and South East Melbourne Phoenix.Credit: Getty Images

“Two great events,” Pippen told Joel Caine in a podcast for SEN Radio. “If I had to pick one, I’d say the AFL. It was a little more exciting; something I felt I could’ve played if I had started playing it younger.”

Pippen also did the obligatory spin around Sydney Harbour on a luxury yacht on Monday, sipping straight vodkas while pressing the flesh with select media and VIP guests.

The idea to recruit Pippen was a resounding success: there was a 40 per cent increase in TV audience compared to last year and record crowd attendance.

It’s a proactive step from a proactive league that wants to make the most of this country’s booming interest in basketball, aided by a steady flow of talent to the NBA via the NBL.

Pippen will return in February to promote the league, although he might need to freshen up on its name.

“It’s great to be hanging out in his country promoting the NBDL [sic],” he told Caine, who replied: “It’s OK. It’s day five.”

Rugby’s smoke and mirrors

When all else fails, there’s delusion.

How else to explain Rugby Australia’s response to news that Wallabies coach Eddie Jones has been Zooming with the enemy?

RA’s response to reports in this masthead about Jones speaking to Japanese rugby was to offer Roosters back-rower Angus Crichton a two-year deal before withdrawing it just days later following a backlash from the broader rugby community.

The Roosters reject claims they need Crichton to depart because of salary-cap pressure, although he doesn’t seem to be a big part of their plans from next year.

As for suggestions Joseph Suaalii might backflip on his mega-deal struck earlier this year, the Roosters would entertain the idea but retaining him at market value under the salary cap would be tricky because the bulk of his $5 million deal with rugby is covered in third-party agreements.

Latrell’s dad joke

Your humble columnist’s piece earlier in the week about athletes such as Broncos star Reece Walsh being unfairly targeted by young fans wielding mobile phone cameras prompted a range of reader responses — including some who thought I actually wanted him sanctioned for wearing Pit Viper sunglasses, which is wildly incorrect.

Certainly, younger fans are feeling more emboldened than ever before to tell their football heroes what they think of them — or what their parents think.

Last week, South Sydney fullback Latrell Mitchell was at Heffron Park when he approached a young fan who was watching from the sidelines.

“I don’t want to shake your hand because Dad reckons you’re the reason we lose games,” the boy, who looked about six, told him.

Kids these days.

THE QUOTE

“Val openly admits he’s an idiot.” — Kangaroos coach Mal Meninga on North Queensland centre Valentine Holmes, who was fined $50,000 for posting an image on Instagram of himself holding a small white bag between his teeth. Holmes has 197,000 followers.

THUMBS UP
Penrith halfback Nathan Cleary’s virtuoso performance in the final 17 minutes of the grand final to secure his side’s premiership three-peat will echo for the rest of eternity. Or something like that. Right on cue, the Yes campaign rolled out his video in support ahead of the October 14 referendum, although it should be noted that the message was shot three months ago.

THUMBS DOWN
Sydney Swans Callum Mills badly injured his shoulder while play-wrestling teammate Jacob Konstanty on Mad Monday and he’ll now miss a chunk of next season after undergoing surgery. This column has long maintained professional footballers should wear only foam or inflatable costumes for Mad Monday celebrations to avoid this exact type of catastrophe.

It’s a big weekend for … the Wallabies, who need Portugal to beat Fiji by eight points or more to avoid being the first Australian side to bomb out of the Rugby World Cup in the pool stage. Maybe this has been Eddie’s genius plan all along.

It’s an even bigger weekend for … the Australian cricket team, who start their ODI World Cup campaign on Sunday night against host nations India at the MA Chidambaram stadium in Chennai. Is it just me or does the ICC have a world cup in something or other every freaking year?

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