Welcome to class, kids, here are all the ways you’re getting dudded

OK kids, find a seat at your flexible learning space experiential module pod and listen up.

Welcome to the 2023 school year!

It’ll be exciting, as you’ll see in your “highlights of the year” handout.

Government schools are finding it hard to get parents to pay voluntary school charges.Credit: Paul Harris

Err, some of you may have to share the handout with others in your flexible learning space experiential module pod – back in my day we had “desks” – because we couldn’t afford to photocopy enough handouts for everyone.

We have to save money where we can, you see, because your parents aren’t paying voluntary contributions. They don’t have to pay the hundreds of dollars in voluntary contributions; after all this is a public school, which by definition means it’s free. And while some of your parents are essentially bastards with zero sense of collective responsibility and could pay contributions but prefer to spend the money on Botox for the family reptile, I know most of your parents are doing it tough because of cost-of-living pressures.

So, the department has made it clear we can’t pressure your parents to pay voluntary contributions or else those contributions wouldn’t be voluntary.

I think if anyone should feel pressured to pay for things like photocopying it ought to be governments given their stated commitment to a “world-class public education system”.

Did I say something funny?

The federal government is committed to developing a “pathway” to fully funding public schools. The federal education minister just wants to make sure the funding goes to the neediest schools and drives “real” outcomes for disadvantaged students like you. So, he’s ordering a review. Yes, by the time we see the extra cash you will have graduated. If you haven’t dropped out first.

Incidentally, school funding reforms 10 years ago created a system described as “needs-based and sector-blind”. We’re halfway to realising this ambition. Posh Grammar on the other side of town has basically everything it needs! Especially with its healthy surplus and fees hiked to more than $35,000 – and their fees aren’t voluntary. Nope, the debt collectors will come for the Maseratis if need be. And Posh Grammar also has us taxpayers chipping in.

Students in state schools get the wrong side of the apple.Credit: Marija Ercegovac

As I was saying, we here at Poor Public School are a bit cash-strapped, so we’re skimping on photocopying. It could be worse. Some state school principals are warning parents that if they don’t pay voluntary contributions their kids might miss out on extra support staff, small class sizes, school productions, literacy and numeracy programs, musical instruments, science equipment … on school, pretty much. On camps.

A word about camps: they’re stressful and exhausting for us teachers. We’re constantly on alert and aren’t paid overtime. Last year we struck a deal with the state government for time-in-lieu for camp duty, but the government didn’t cough up extra funding to cover the cost. So, you’ll see in the handout that this year’s camp is an overnighter at the school that’ll double as a working bee so we can save on maintenance costs.

Stone, two birds.

I know you’re craving rich learning experiences after years of lockdowns. I know the kids at Posh Grammar go camping, skiing, scuba diving, horse-riding.

But school is actually about learning.

Except, by the time you’re in year 9, a good number of you will be five years behind the kids in Posh Grammar in reading, and four years behind in maths – more than double the gap between you and them in year 3, says a Grattan Institute report. The more you’re schooled, the relatively dumber you get!

Your performance has declined even over the past four years, says the Productivity Commission. For the past 20 years, and despite billions in education spending and lofty curriculum reviews, kids of your age and background in Canada, South Korea and that basket case known as Britain have been overtaking you in reading, maths and science.

On VCE results day, Posh Grammar boasts about students headed for elite universities and professions. Schools like ours boast about a whisker-above-average median study score in “food tech”. No one points out the disparity lest you guys feel stigmatised.

But you’re already stigmatised – by low expectations.

The Grattan Institute says teachers like me are half as likely as the teachers at Posh Grammar to have access to shared, high-quality lesson plans.

The Productivity Commission says the government should commit to targets – yes, “real outcomes” – for lifting the performance of kids like you.

Ben Jensen from educational consultancy Learning First says kids like you should be offered the same brainy subjects, be taught the same material and be marked just as hard as the kids at Posh Grammar. He says global research shows teachers tend to drop standards for students from poor and minority backgrounds; they meet the kids “where they’re at”. So, the kids stay where they are. He says we need to delve into what’s being taught and how in Australian classrooms.

To be honest, our union tends to resist such top-down intervention, and Labor governments tend to be squeamish about fighting the union.

Maybe that’s why during last year’s election campaign the Andrews government made big promises on school buildings but said almost nothing about what goes on inside the buildings. Even though families like yours in traditional Labor areas, such as Melbourne’s north, are angry about underwhelming local high schools.

In the land of the fair go we’re holding back poor kids like you and helping kids who already enjoy a head start get even further ahead.

Sometimes I wonder what it would take to get more people angry about that.

Gosh, is that the bell?

Sorry kids, time’s up!

Julie Szego is a regular columnist.

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