Melbourne smiled through its mini identity crisis – the first AFL grand final in 18 years not to feature a Victorian club – to remind the rest of Australia and its elites that on Saturday, all roads lead to the MCG.
And at the nexus of our sporting, political and cultural power, VIPs headed up the escalator from door 3 to gather in the Olympic Room of the MCG for the AFL Commission lunch.
“The most important lunch in the history of the world,” declared Seven Network host Hamish McLachlan, before dashing off to fulfil broadcast duties.
Table 12 was the long table at the centre of both the MCG and Australia, where Prime Minister Anthony Albanese sat at the centre, flanked by his host, AFL chief executive Andrew Dillon.
The PM was quick to affix the official 2024 Toyota AFL premiership pin (proudly supporting the Ladder charity) to his jacket lapel, but not a Swans scarf (his fiancee, Jodie Haydon, meanwhile, wore one proudly).
Still at table 12, AFL Commission chairman Richard Goyder, a lunch co-host, sat next to Governor-General Sam Mostyn, who was clad in a First Nations Swans scarf and with husband Simeon Beckett, SC. It’s possible this is the only place in Australia where she would be introduced as “former AFL commissioner Sam Mostyn”.
Victorian Governor Margaret Gardner sat nearby with husband Glyn Davis, Australia’s top public servant who runs the Department of Prime Minister and Cabinet. He wore a Lions scarf and appeared to favour the vegetarian option.
Seven West Media owner Kerry Stokes sat quietly while Goyder thanked him and his network for helping “[as] our game has been driven to new heights”.
Also at the top table was Stokes’ son Ryan, the managing director at Seven, and the chairmen of the competing clubs, Andrew Pridham (Swans) and Andrew Wellington (Lions).
Victorian Premier Jacinta Allan was also there, along with some of her counterparts in South Australia’s Peter Malinauskas and Tasmania’s Jeremy Rockliff, whose state will host the league’s 19th team.
Federal Trade Minister Don Farrell hosted United Arab Emirates counterpart Dr Thani bin Ahmed Al Zeyoudi, to celebrate the nations’ mutual free trade agreement.
The lunch was a chance for catch-ups, as Gardner jumped up from her seat to chat to philanthropist and Sportsgirl owner Naomi Milgrom, who came as a guest of Collingwood president Jeff Browne, just as she did for the Brownlow Medal count.
Later, former AFL chief executive Gillon McLachlan was seen balancing an enormous tray of beers as he shot the breeze with broadcaster Craig Hutchison, the latter in the news as he is expected to defect from Nine to Seven.
Singer Mark Seymour performed his anthem Throw Your Arms Around Me, listened on by First Nations rapper Briggs, who was there in the company of his dad, Paul Briggs, the co-chair of the AFL’s Aboriginal and Torres Strait Advisory Council.
Ensuring a big media presence at the lunch were ABC chair Kim Williams, News Corp boss Michael Miller, Foxtel boss Patrick Delany, broadcaster Eddie McGuire (also a former Collingwood president) and Nine Entertainment chair Catherine West.
Guests enjoyed a gimlet gin on arrival and a poached prawn salad before a main course of roast beef tenderloin, supervised by chef Curtis Stone.
Not present: NSW Premier Chris Minns and Queensland Premier Steven Miles. Or Victorian Opposition Leader John Pesutto, who is in the middle of the defamation trial bought by exiled MP Moira Deeming. Pesutto once again gave his ticket to opposition sports spokesman Sam Groth after he was a late scratching from Monday’s Brownlow count.
Club presidents including Luke Sayers (Carlton) the former PwC boss, and Sonja Hood (North Melbourne) were in the room. Hood got grand final day off to a great start at Saturday’s traditional breakfast hosted by North Melbourne, which had 1400 guests including Albanese and federal Opposition Leader Peter Dutton at the Melbourne Convention and Exhibition Centre.
As Albanese said, the breakfast was the only way anyone could get the words “grand final” and “North Melbourne” in the same sentence. North finished 17th this season.
Hood welcomed both the prime minister and Dutton. “I didn’t think we had much in common – but when I was writing this speech I realised that actually all three of us are trying desperately hard to turn around an underperforming organisation,” she said.
“The leader of the opposition and I have both gone for a different approach, binding our respective futures to a powerful yet volatile energy source. For Mr Dutton, it’s nuclear fission; for me, it’s Alastair Clarkson. Let’s hope yours is less explosive than mine has been.”
Hood saved one of her best zingers for rival code rugby league. “Whether today’s game for you is South Melbourne versus Fitzroy, or Sydney versus Brisbane, or NSW versus Queensland – finally a state of origin clash I won’t fall asleep in.”
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