My Age letters keep getting rejected. Don’t people realise I’m Erudite of Aireys Inlet?

Susan Munday, of Bentleigh East, says she planned to be a letter writer when she retired, and at 80 years of age is now well known to Age letter readers. As are Margaret Callinan of Hawthorn, 93-year-old Myra Fisher of Brighton East, Rod Wise of Surrey Hills, and emerging regular Susie Holt of South Yarra. Like me, they all stand in awe of Jon McMillan of Mt Eliza, whose erudite opinions on matters local, national and international are frequently in pride of place at the top of the first column about the main topic of the day.

I am interested in achieving greater success in the letters pages. It’s my goal to emulate the success of Mt Eliza’s fabled correspondent and to gain wide recognition for – in my humble opinion – my witty/informed/humorous/astringent commentary being offered by The Age to its wide, discerning audience.

I’ve put my mind to being a star writer of letters to the editor. How could anyone fail to recognise my erudition and wit? Credit: Les Hewitt

As someone who regularly attempts to gain a spot on those pages, there is nothing like receiving a phone call from the letters editor seeking clarification of a point you have made, and thus guaranteeing a run. Even in tiny Aireys Inlet where I live, everyone notices when you have been published, whether I’m at an exercise class, the mobile library, or even down at the beach.

I know that submitted letters are read carefully by The Age, not just for possible inclusion in the 25 plus that are run daily but also as a guide to staff on how the paper is being received by Victorians. I can also attest to the fact that upon opening their print or digital version of The Age many readers turn to the Comment pages first, where its letter writers are typically more progressive than in other Victorian or national papers.

I’ve closely watched those who’ve had success on The Age letters pages. There are many smart women who have found a voice, including Jan Marshall of Brighton, Louise Kloot of Doncaster, Meg Paul of Camberwell, Margaret Skeen of Pt Lonsdale, and Margaret Collings of Anglesea. Male regulars include Bill Pimm of Mentone, John Cain of McRae and Henry Herzog of St Kilda East. Living near water – either bayside, on the Bellarine/surf coast or the Peninsula seems to help. As does living among the trees in the eastern suburbs or regionally. Perhaps the views inspire Victoria’s letter writers or is there nothing else to do?

Sadly, many of you reading this might say “Megan who?” Perhaps you are not familiar with my infrequent appearances on the page. You most certainly won’t be aware of my many rejections. Maybe the mistake of those unfulfilled efforts was that they were emailed in too late in the day. It’s clear from my experience that the early bird gets the worm. Anything after noon is near useless as those brilliant witticisms on the latest issue will have gone off by the next day. Sometimes, embarrassingly, I have discovered that the letters editor does not understand the point I am trying to make.

If I’m being honest about my lack of success, I think it is my tone that leads to rejection. You can be too smart for your own good and certainly be too critical or hectoring. My letters are usually political, and toned down as much as I can manage without being anodyne or boring but they are probably still too sharp.

Commiserating with another irregular letter writer on our high rejection rates, he advised politeness, absolute topicality, and irrefutable facts in relation to the issue or contretemps in question. And as they say about getting into Carnegie Hall, practise, practise, practise. Consider every word, read it out for grammar and sense, and stay on point. Cleverness sometimes helps and brevity is indeed the soul of wit.

My fellow correspondent says he has improved his strike rate after reading a recent email sent to Age readers offering a background on how and why letters were selected. The note from the editor said that letters were:

“The part of The Age that politicians read closely. It is an incubator of news stories, a forum for debate and a snapshot of public sentiment. Letters are a valued and essential part of our publication and a useful item in the toolbox of democracy.”

It included some useful tips on what makes a good letter and how they are chosen. Are they written by real people? Yes. “Our correspondents are readers like you: mostly Victorians who are passionate and engaged with the news. They are erudite, insightful and quite often surprising.” But not too surprising.

Now I know the official line, here are my extra two top tips for success:

Think local – a riposte on an errant sportsperson, especially a footballer, goes down well if it happened in Melbourne, but not anywhere else – unless illegal drugs or Las Vegas nightclub are involved. Topicality is ephemeral: with the end of the Olympics, breakdancing has not rated a mention, along with the August torrent of letters on Paris, venues, food in athlete’s village, medals winning dominance of women, lessons for Brisbane and so on.

Given the importance of reader input, as shown by the advice from the editor, I would like The Age to go a little further in nurturing its letter writers. How about a letter writing workshop (perhaps at the State Library), or a function for the regulars, with prizes for the most successful writers? Being published is more than enough, but who would say no to, say, a personal Golding cartoon?

Megan Stoyles is a freelance writer.

To submit a letter to The Age, email [e-mail]. Please include your home address and telephone number below your letter. No attachments. See here for our rules and tips on getting your letter published.

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