By Stephen Brook and Kishor Napier-Raman
Julia Gillard continues to eclipse her rival former prime ministers.
We know, we know, here we go again readers, needlessly turning everything into a contest to feed our addiction to clicks. To which we reply, there is nothing so competitive as a former prime minister on a quest for relevance.
Julia Gillard: beam me upCredit: Fairfax Media
Hence, Scott “Space Race” Morrison, PM30, the chairman of the advisory board for Space Centre Australia, who gave a “major speech” at the Australian Space Summit 2025 at Darling Harbour on Tuesday about extending the AUKUS security agreement into space.
CBD had previously surmised that Tony Abbott, PM28, was the most successful of the speaking circuit, by dint of his being a) an in-demand conservative true believer and b) a former Liberal Party prime minister who is neither Scott Morrison nor Malcolm Turnbull.
Speaking of Turnbull, PM29 is due on Thursday to attend the Redmond Barry Society three-course luncheon at the State Library of Victoria “in conversation with the Hon Barry Jones AC to discuss the “10th and final edition” of Jones’ Dictionary of World Biography.
In contrast, PM28 gave a speech at the weekend on the new responsibilities of democracies in the era of the retreat of Pax Americana at the 2025 Asian Leadership Conference in Seoul, where he was joined by a bro-squad of former leaders including Britain’s Rishi Sunak, Malaysia’s Mahathir Mohamad, Indonesia’s Joko Widodo and CBD’s new favourite, the former prime minister of Kyrgyzstan, the fascinatingly named Djoomart Otorbaev.
Back to Gillard. Not only has PM27 had a play written about her, Julia, by top playwright Joanna Murray-Smith, which will play Melbourne (again) in June before a Brisbane season in August, but Gillard is getting what no other prime minister living or dead has managed to achieve – her very own hologram.
Gillard will be the star turn on the Women UNLIMITED Leadership Summit in September, along with Hillary Clinton and Leigh Sales and “some of the nation’s most senior women in the Australian Public Service” as well as others “leading the pursuit of progress”.
But unlike Clinton, who will be appearing in the flesh on stage in Sydney and Canberra and via livestream in the other states, Gillard’s session will see her beamed on stage via hologram, in what sounds very much like a new frontier for our former heads of government.
The starting price to attend the two-day summit varies from state to state. Ticket prices in the ACT start from $3199 + GST, while in NSW they start from $2899 + GST, and in Victoria and the other states prices start from $2699 +GST.
John Brown pay day
During his stint in Bob Hawke’s cabinet, John Brown became known as the “minister for good times”, a name that also formed the title of the 93-year-old’s rollicking recent memoir.
Technically, it was the sport, recreation and tourism portfolio, and Brown certainly wishes he was better known for his policy accomplishments than for having sex with then-wife Jan Murray on his ministerial desk. Murray revealed the tale on 60 Minutes, and while Brown doesn’t dispute the whole incident, he says it’s not true that she left her knickers in the ashtray. The ’80s were a different time.
Anyway, the good times are still rolling for Brownie. CBD recently came into possession of a picture of the former minister at Royal Randwick in Sydney receiving a stack of $50 bills from Robbie Waterhouse of the storied bookmaking family.
Bookmaker Robbie Waterhouse hands over the election bet cash to former Labor minister John Brown.
Turns out Brown had taken a punt on Labor increasing its parliamentary majority in this month’s federal election at $5.80 and won big. A good call, seeing as most betting markets (not to mention many pundits) were still leaning toward a Labor minority government as the campaign reached its final stretch.
Waterhouse told us that Brown, who he described as “a real man’s man” had been betting with him for more than 40 years. Brown was in the mood for a yarn when CBD came calling on Wednesday, but was unusually reticent (for a politician) about boasting about the size of his winnings.
Royal tour down under
Meanwhile, here’s a major event that the Victorian government really has missed out on. News that Princess Ingrid Alexandra of Norway will move to the Harbour City to commence an arts degree at the University of Sydney kicked off a frenzy of media coverage in Australia, and with it dozens of jokes about the slimy college boys, Mosman-born working class cosplayers in flannel shirts and irritating socialist alternative pamphleteers Her Royal Highness would have to dodge. What’s wrong with the University of Melbourne, we hear you cry?
Meanwhile, the Princess’ antipodean adventure is a welcome breath of good publicity for the Norwegian Royal Family which has been wracked by scandal over the past 12 months. Last year, Ingrid Alexandra’s half-brother Marius Borg Hoiby was arrested on suspicion of rape, and faces additional criminal charges related to domestic violence.
Norway’s Princess Ingrid Alexandra is bound for Sydney University. Credit: nna\noliveri
And Ingrid Alexandra’s aunt, Princess Martha Louise married self-described American “shaman” Durek Verett, who believes that 5G is a tool to enslave the planet, and that he knew about 9/11 two years earlier but chose not to intervene. Oh, and he’s friends with Gwyneth Paltrow, who calls him her soul-brother.
Needless to say, faith in the Norwegian monarchy has eroded over the last year, leading to a surge in republicanism. No doubt Sydney will adopt her with open arms.