That syncing feeling: How I sparked a Twitter intervention

Last week, I wrote on Twitter: “My partner of six months wants us to ‘sync diaries’. My diary is paper. How do I tell him? Is it over?”

Suddenly, I was the subject of subtweets about my safety.Credit: Getty

It was a joke about digital versus paper diaries. My partner had been trying to make plans for us to catch up with another couple. I have three kids, he has two kids, we both have busy lives, and it had taken six texts back and forth just to find a free night.

But the internet had other ideas. Apparently, I am being abused! “Red flag!” tweeted one person. “Sounds controlling”, tweeted another. “Don’t do it! Why is he keeping tabs on you? This has a bad vibe.”

My man wanted to get organised, and I was the victim of coercive control?

Kim Kardashian and partner Pete Davidson at the Met Gala.Credit: AP

Ah well, I told him. At least we are in good company. Kim Kardashian has also been deemed abusive by the internet, towards her new boyfriend, comedian Pete Davidson. The evidence of this alleged abuse was found in a forensic analysis of a video posted to Instagram, in which Kim is trying on the dress she wore to the Met Gala. Pete is holding her hand, wearing one cap on top of another, and Kim asks him to take off the “double hat” for the filming.

“She’s controlling. She’s not letting him be himself”, a fan posted, though there’s no evidence that Pete usually wears two hats. “Red flag passive-aggressive behaviour”, wrote another, although the aggression was so passive, I couldn’t see it at all.

Now, I have been on social media long enough to find the whole thing amusing.

I know that the internet is eminently unpredictable, and that none of us are in control of our own narratives. I mean, I wrote “diary” in the sense of “calendar”, some people took it as “personal journal”, and suddenly, I was the subject of subtweets about my safety.

That’s the online world. Everyone brings their own baggage to the internet, and everyone consumes content through the lens of their own trauma. No matter what you post, there will always be people who misconstrue you. No matter how innocuous you are, you might go viral for all the wrong reasons.

No matter if you’re Kim Kardashian or a columnist’s mild-mannered partner, you can be analysed and criticised by complete strangers.

There is endless debate about censorship on social media and which regulations the platforms should impose. We may be able to control for abuse, but we can never control for misunderstandings. Sync your diaries, take off your double hats, and shrug it off.