She knew they’d be together forever but there’s a sweet reason they won’t marry

Creative duo Sophie Tatlow, 56, and Bruce Slorach, 61, are partners in life and work, which has thrown up numerous challenges. Bruce says Sophie has a strange kind of magic – yet still wishes she’d stack the dishwasher more neatly.

Bruce Slorach: “We can look at hundreds of things on a furniture auction site and the one thing she likes is the one thing I would have picked.”Credit: Dominic Lorrimer

Sophie: When I met Bruce in 1996, I was working part-time at Bills in [Sydney’s] Darlinghurst and he used to come in all the time. A friend of mine worked with him at Mambo and told me he wanted to ask me out. Our first date was at the Green Park [Hotel]. We had a few drinks, then he had to leave to pick up his son, Oscar, then about five. He said, “I have to be sure you’re OK with kids
because I’m not getting into a relationship with someone who’s not.” I said, “I’m fine with kids.” I was 29 with no kids: what did I know?

We started dating and in the first few weeks I thought, “I’ll probably be with this person forever.” He was such a good, decent person and I was attracted to his sensitivity and overall demeanour. Bruce is a quiet, softly spoken person, but when he gets angry … oh, my god!

After about a year, I moved into his place in Bondi. Oscar, then six, came to live with us full-time because his mother was moving to Europe. That was tricky, taking on someone else’s child. It put a strain on Bruce and me; his top priority was making sure Oscar was settling in. When you’re with someone, you want to be their No.1 and I had to get my head around not being that. He was very reassuring, though, and we got through it.

We love the same things: the bush, the landscape, design. And our core values – decency, integrity, kindness – are the same. I joke that we’re like the hare and the tortoise, though. I’ll read a book overnight and he’ll take four months.

Creating our textile company, Utopia Goods, in 2012 was stressful: we mortgaged our home and still ran our other business, Deuce Design [a multidisciplinary design agency], for another eight years. We’d fight about stupid things. I’d say a design needed to be a different size or colour and he’d say, “You don’t understand what you’re looking at”. We could scream the building down but we never let the sun go down on an argument.

Our life and business are one and the same. We joke that Bruce drawing these beautiful flowers is like him giving me a bunch of them every day. He says, “I do this for you”.

Working together has brought us closer. He’s so extraordinarily talented, but so humble. I keep him away from clients because he’s too self-deprecating: he’ll criticise his own designs. I can sell him better than he sells himself.

Bruce is so real. I’ve never heard a bullshitty word come out of his mouth. He brings me breakfast in bed every morning and cooks me dinner each night, which feels like a massive treat. I tell him I won’t marry him because then he’ll stop trying.

‘He brings me breakfast in bed  … I tell him I won’t marry him because then he’ll stop trying.’

Sophie Tatlow

We’ve had a challenging few years. My dad died unexpectedly in Melbourne in 2021 in the middle of COVID, which was a terrible shock. Then in 2022, on Bruce’s 60th, his widowed mum told him she had ovarian cancer. She was in country Victoria and it was hard for him to get there because he had an exhibition deadline, but he spoke to her every day. When the chips are down, he’s there. I know he’ll always be there for me.

If you’re lucky, you meet what you need: the piece of the puzzle missing from your soul. He’s my missing piece.

Sophie Tatlow: “When the chips are down, he’s there. I know he’ll always be there for me.”Credit: Dominic Lorrimer

Bruce: Our date at the Green Park went really well. I loved her energy, enthusiasm and positivity. It felt like one of those “just meant to be” things. Things progressed quickly and, after about seven months, Soph moved in.

Soon after, Oscar came to live with us. That whole stepmother thing is really complicated and caused some tension between Soph and me, but she was always very supportive. I had to travel for work, so she was often left minding Oscar, but she threw herself into it wholeheartedly and turned out to be the most marvellous friend to him. It brought us closer together. Oscar lived with us until he was 14 and then moved back in with his mum.

We set up Utopia because we wanted to feel passionate about our work. We started it in 2012 – our son, Henry, was 10 – and self-funded it by mortgaging our house. Working together like that creates a lot of pressure because you’re putting all your eggs in one basket. Sometimes when we’d argue, Soph had that “fight or flight” response. We’d be driving home, trying to resolve something, and she’d jump out of the car at the lights. I’d have to park the car and find her. Most of our arguments were caused by misunderstandings; we’ve always been aligned about what we want to achieve, personally and professionally.

‘While I get her breakfast, she’s sending work emails ... Cooking for her is the least I can do.’

Bruce Slorach

Soph puts so much energy into our life. She’s always arranging for friends to come for dinner and checking in on people. While I get her breakfast, she’s sending work emails. And she has to deal with more pressures at work than I do. What we do is both art and commerce; it’s a passion, but also a business. It involves financing and logistics and she manages most of that. Cooking for her is the least I can do to thank her. Our work is a creative union. Sometimes it can be difficult to isolate which of us has had a particular idea. The idea behind [our design] Paradise, for example, came from a book she was writing for her master’s degree in creative writing.

Soph had an amazing relationship with my mother, who died recently. They spoke every day. Mum didn’t want a funeral, so Soph organised a memorial service and gave the main eulogy. People said they learnt so much about Mum from that; it was very touching.

It’s very hard to find fault with her, but I hate the way she stacks the dishwasher: she just chucks everything in, upside down. And she eats too much cheese.

We’ve become weirdly alike. We can look at hundreds of things on a furniture auction site and the one thing she likes is the one thing I would have picked. Soph is patient with my waftiness; she’s also a fine moral compass and a beautifully empathic mother to Henry and Oscar. She has a strange kind of magic and people just fall under her spell. I just love her ability to lean into life.

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