Positive role models take on tough topics in new app for young men

Not since Baby Reindeer has a show captured the zeitgeist like Netflix’ Adolescence, a four-part series following a 13-year-old schoolboy in the days and weeks after he murdered his classmate, Katie.

Since its release in March, the show has spawned a tide of think pieces unpacking its broader issues: the rise of “incel” culture, the impact of social media on children, toxic masculinity, misogyny, and gender-based violence.

British Prime Minister Keir Starmer wants the series shown in schools across the UK. There have been similar suggestions here, with Prime Minister Anthony Albanese urging all Australians to watch the show.

Local domestic violence charity Beyond DV, in partnership with Brisbane software company Moonward Apps, has developed ‘Ask A Mate’, where young men can seek advice on a range of topics.Credit: Courtney Kruk

Adolescence is compelling viewing, and it explores important issues that need attention. More than 100 women and children have been killed in Australia as a result of male violence since the start of 2024. Current preventative efforts are falling well short.

But I’m with those opposed to showing it in classrooms. Exposing young people to serious issues without a capable parent, teacher or professional to continue the conversation could do more harm than good.

The sad irony is that many teenagers, particularly boys, don’t know how or where to openly ask questions and discuss concerns, which is why they turn to dangerous online figures, such as self-proclaimed misogynist and convicted rapist Andrew Tate. This was explored in Adolescence, but it’s a reality that societies around the world are grappling with.

There’s a clear problem, so how do we bridge it?

Last week I attended the launch of Ask A Mate, an app developed by Brisbane domestic violence charity Beyond DV. It’s a tool for young men aged between 13 and 18 to access advice on topics such as relationships, gender, sex, consent, and domestic and sexual violence – delivered by people they look up to. Think AFL stars and bass players.

Beyond DV founder Carolyn Robinson came up with the concept in 2022 in response to the spread of dangerous online content influencing young men.

“That was really my whole reason for doing this, [to provide young men] with an alternative to Andrew Tate,” she says. The brutal murder of Sydney coach Lilie James by her former partner in 2023 was another reason to see the project through.

During the development phase, Robinson, a former high school teacher, surveyed boys from four diverse Brisbane schools to find out what questions they wanted answered, and from whom they wanted to hear those answers.

“We were absolutely overwhelmed by the level of engagement,” she says. “I ended up collating 14 pages of questions that these young men wanted to know.

“Some of them were really simple: How do I make a girl feel comfortable on a first date? How do I let a girl know I want to be more than just friends?

“But some were more complex: What do I do if a mate comes and says he’s been sexually assaulted? How can I support him? How can I call out my friends when they’re saying things that I don’t agree with about women?”

Robinson narrowed the questions down to 70 and worked with Ask A Mate partner Professor Michael Flood, an expert on men, masculinity, and violence prevention at Queensland University of Technology, to curate responses that would be delivered by the app’s ambassadors – or “mates”.

So far, the “mates” involved include Brisbane Lions co-captain Harris Andrews; former boxing champion Jeff Horn; comedian Christian Hull; The Jungle Giants bass player Andrew Dooris; Collingwood captain Darcy Moore; and anti-domestic violence advocate Tarang Chawla, among others.

“We have these men [who are positive role models] in our community ... we just need to give them a vehicle so they can play their part,” Robinson says.

Ask A Mate was developed – free of charge – by Brisbane software company Moonward Apps. Chief executive Andrew Owen said they wanted to get involved because, despite efforts to discourage social media use, young people are still going to use mobile phones.

(Left to right) Brisbane Lions community manager James Dowling, Beyond DV founder Carolyn Robinson, Chief Justice of the Federal Circuit and Family Court of Australia Will Alstergren, Brisbane Lions chief Greg Swann, and Brisbane Lions co-captain Harris Andrews at the launch of the Ask A Mate app in Brisbane. Credit: Courtney Kruk

“I think we have to adapt to the fact that people [will] be on their phones, hence the reason that we’ve gone down the pathway of the app,” he said.

“Rather than us trying to pull away and get [young people] off their phones, what I love about this is we’re leaning into an environment that they’re comfortable in.”

Robinson hopes to see the app introduced into schools, and she has plans to bring on more “mates” in coming months.

I downloaded it last week, and what I love most is that it’s calling on men to lead the conversation. It might not replace a 14-year-old’s TikTok habits, but seeing their favourite footy player might spark enough curiosity for them to listen to what they’re saying. And that feels like the first step in building this bridge.

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