Paul Taylor of Winston Hills has unearthed a contender for the Column 8 word of the year: Columny /ˈkoləmni/
noun: columny; plural noun: columnies
The making of envious and derogatory statements about a published contributor to Column 8 in order to imply favouritism on the part of the editor. Verb: columnate
“I, too, remember being aghast that someone could label Granny as ‘trivial and moronic’ (C8), Don Bain,” writes George Manojlovic of Mangerton. “Seriously? Now, where were we? Oh, that’s right, days and months on undies.”
Damn straight. Ted Richards of Batemans Bay has “the full week of marked underpants (C8), which makes getting dressed much easier, but even better is using the socks marked R and L. It takes a huge weight off your mind knowing that you are wearing the right day’s undies and that your socks are on the correct feet.”
“An authentic parmi (C8) isn’t made using chicken as you may have thought Geoff Gilligan, advises Mary Carde of Parrearra (Qld). “Being a traditional Italian dish created back in the 17th century, it was originally made using aubergine, and still is. So it could be much less palatable than your modern-day tofu version which probably comes with a side of kale chips and chickpea salad.”
Jim Pollitt of Wahroonga is well aware of the itinerant spider (C8): “While driving my grandson to the Art Gallery of NSW last year, after he had admitted his arachnophobia and hence reluctance to see Louise Bourgeois’ huge Maman spider sculpture, he pulled down the sun visor and ... you guessed it!”
At last, the real Warren Mitchell (C8) stands up: “Great to see the remarks about the other Warren Mitchell. I used to have his photo on my high school case and also have a couple of photos of the two of us together after some of his shows. A very talented man, he was most widely known for Alf Garnett and I can usually tell someone’s age if they mention him when they see mine.”
“Mel Gibson (C8) had no excuse for delivering an underwhelming American accent, as Biff in Death of a Salesman, considering that he was born in New York state and did not arrive in Australia until he was 12 years of age,” points out Greg Mudie of Dungog. This is made all the worse by the fact that the Lomans lived in Brooklyn.
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