“The Herald reports it is likely that English cricketers Salt and Pepper will open the batting in an upcoming ODI against the West Indies,” notes John Lees of Castlecrag. “Reminds me of when we had Abbott and Costello in John Howard’s cabinet – although of course they were engaged in a different ‘sport’. I wonder if other contributors can come up with other such combinations.” To start the ball rolling, 1980s cricket tragics from the northern beaches may recall openers (Greg) Bush and (Neil) Tuckerman.
As early voting commences in the US, as it did in Queensland, Bill Leigh of West Pennant Hills fears electors may not be down for the count: “In what’s becoming a virtual blizzard of promises, the proletariat is clamouring to have their vote recorded before all information is available as they’re tiring of the political racket. In fact, they’re making a Freudian statement, ‘Don’t confuse me with any more facts, I’ve made up my mind.’”
Someone’s cashing in: “Maybe the young Manhattan checkout lady (C8) wasn’t ‘stumped’ when encouraging your correspondent to tap her card again ‘just to show her how it worked’,” ponders Chris Roylance of Paddington (Qld). “Either way I’d be checking my credit card statement.”
“I feel compelled to write to Granny for the very first time,” says Kay Abrahams of Freshwater. “I totally agree that ‘Granny it must be’ (C8), but Mary Carde is right. I look at Granny at the head of her column and think: ‘She doesn’t resemble any Granny I know’.”
“And please give the old girl some teeth,” adds Ellen Kassel of Collaroy.
“I’ve just renewed our Sydney Swans membership for me and three friends,” informs Jo Rainbow of Orange. “So we can resume the Swans Cougars 2025. Would Granny like to join us? Plus please can Isaac give Shirley a wave?”
Allan Mackay of Gerringong is exercising diplomacy in the backyard: “I have just planted a Ukrainian purple tomato next to a Black Russian tomato. Have I created scenes of bitter rivalry in my vegetable garden or will they realise, when it all boils down, that they’re just two tomatoes?”
“I congratulate Robert Hosking (C8) for reaching the Sunset Strip age,” declares Michael Walsh of Croydon. “I share his sense of accomplishment, having also reached that age last month. There is also a sense of exclusivity as some other generations won’t know what we’re talking about!”
Column8@smh.com.au
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