Mum and daughter sailors were together 24/7 for two months – and had only ‘one tiff’

Digital media student Sophie Snijders, 26, is living aboard a sailboat while circumnavigating Australia. Her mum, Annette Hesselmans, 54, is a sailing instructor, nurse – and her co-captain in this year’s Sydney to Hobart yacht race.

Annette Hesselmans and Sophie Snijders: “We’re not elite sailors; we’re not adrenaline junkies,” Annette says. “We’re just an ­ordinary mother and daughter.”Credit: Andrew Wilson

SOPHIE: My parents sold our house in Melbourne to buy a boat, and we moved aboard on my first birthday. It was a cruising yacht named Sago, which is all of our initials: Sophie, Annette, my dad, Gerry, and brother, Oliver. We went around Port Phillip Bay to begin with, then up the east coast of Australia. Later, we sailed to Tasmania across Bass Strait.

We rented houses from time to time, but we spent a lot of time on the water. There was one period – growing up, when my friends were going to the mall every weekend – when I resented it. On weekends, Mum and Dad would drag us out, kicking and screaming “I hate the boat!“, but sailing started slipping back into my consciousness in year 11. It was becoming popular with vloggers, and I saw what it could be, taking you to amazing places.

Mum and I took a voyage together in 2018 from Osaka to Townsville. I don’t think I knew quite what I was in for. It took two months, stopping off at tiny speck islands in the Pacific in a racing boat. No fridge. No shower. Very small bunks in what you call a “coffin cabin”.

‘You can’t stay angry for long. It’s a small space, so you have to make up quickly.’

Sophie Snijders on their Osaka-Townsville voyage

We did a lot of headwind sailing, with squalls coming through – dark patches of cloud with heavy winds, which means lots of work: sails in and out, up and down. The shipping traffic coming out of Osaka – there’s a busy little entrance for this industrial port – was chaotic. There were days of doldrums, too, with no wind, where the water is endless mirror glass, almost like you’re in this ginormous, quiet room.

Mum’s patience stood out. We only had one tiff. She was fretting about something and I snapped and told her to calm down. She stomped off to one end of the boat and me to the other, but you can’t stay angry for long. It’s a small space, so you have to make up quickly.

There were beautiful moments, too, seeing the seabirds and whales, or a pod of dolphins, or around sunset when the equatorial heat starts to cool off and your spirits lift. We both love cooking, so we’d catch up over dinner: Mum’s vegetarian lasagne or spag bol.

Eventually, I wanted my own boat and saved up to buy Nakama, a 34-foot (10.3-metre) monohull, which I’m sailing around Australia with my partner and our cat. You’re trying to be a jack of all trades – electrician, plumber, diesel mechanic – because there’s no one else you can call on when you’re stuck in the middle of nowhere.

On a family cruise in 1999.Credit: Courtesy of Annette Hesselmans

When I was growing up, Mum was a nurse in hospitals or sexual health clinics for disadvantaged women, or doing FIFO nursing in Indigenous communities in the Northern Territory. But she did a complete backflip recently, starting her own sailing company, teaching students the tricks of the trade on boats. When she asked if I wanted to be her co-skipper in the [Rolex Sydney Hobart Yacht Race], I knew I’d totally regret it if I said no.

A mother-daughter running a yacht is ­somewhat rare in a male-dominated sport, but it’s really about stepping outside your comfort zone and showing that we’re capable. It’s not about winning for me: it’s just being out there with Mum, showing ourselves to the world and taking on an adventure.

ANNETTE: Sophie was so young when we moved onto the yacht that we don’t know exactly when she even started walking ­because she was holding herself up to move around the boat. Her little feet would claw around the deck, and she would be climbing up onto the boom and swinging around with her life jacket on. She used to throw things over the side, like her shoes, and watch them sink.

She adapted to that lifestyle, and was always so cooperative. She’d get really excited when we approached an anchorage, but out on the ocean she loved the wildest conditions, sitting up in the cockpit with the salt spray.

‘She had no choice: you couldn’t exactly have a tantrum and jump off the boat …’

Annette Hesselmans on sailing with a teenage daughter

When she was a monosyllabic teenager, that was challenging. She spent most of her time on board in her bunk looking at Facebook, draining our batteries using power on the internet. We moved to the Northern Rivers, her clothing grew a bit more risque, and she had a couple of wild years in the Byron Bay scene – a lot of late nights picking her up in the sand dunes after beach parties. But she was 15 and, underneath it all, she still loved the water.

Osaka to Townsville was my idea. What mother doesn’t want to hold her daughter ­captive, sharing an experience? But it was tough. The boat had to be manned 24 hours a day, so we took it in turns to sleep. The conditions were difficult and it can be a bit soul-destroying when you can’t go in the direction you want. Sophie never complained. I think she understood she had no choice: you couldn’t exactly have a tantrum and jump off the boat.

Sailing to Lord Howe in May.Credit: Courtesy of Annette Hesselmans

We stopped at an island in Micronesia called Elato and sat with the women of the village, and they gave us little flowered head-dresses. To see Sophie’s warmth and kindness to them, and her empathy, was incredibly special. I saw her beauty and wonderment at being embraced by another community. She shone.

Sydney to Hobart will be an interesting ­endurance challenge, but I think Sophie and I complement one another. Sailing can be a really intuitive thing, and we’re two peas in a pod in our temperament. I don’t even have to say anything to Sophie and she’ll be up there fixing the problem. She’s the first person I’d talk to about any issues or concerns because I think she has a wiser head on her than I have. We’re just at peace with each other.

I do want us to be role models. There’s that saying, “You can’t be what you can’t see”, and if we’re out there doing it, then that sends a message to others that they can get out there and do it, too. Most women are lacking in ­confidence, and it’s really only confidence holding them back. But we’re not elite sailors. We’re not adrenaline junkies. We’re just an ­ordinary mother and daughter.

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