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A tale of two parties: Nats throw another scallop on the barbie as Greens mark a different vibe

By Stephen Brook and Kishor Napier-Raman

It is the final sitting week of the year in Parliament House in Canberra. Which can mean only one thing for the desperate inmates who double as our political representatives – parties.

And no ticket is more popular than the Nationals’ seafood barbecue.

The coalition that cooks together: Bridget McKenzie (left), David Littleproud and Peter Dutton at the Nationals’ barbecue on Tuesday.

The coalition that cooks together: Bridget McKenzie (left), David Littleproud and Peter Dutton at the Nationals’ barbecue on Tuesday.

How could it not be, with the buffet laden with produce including barramundi, prawns, scallops and even crocodile?

Oh, and beverages “supplied by Metcash”. Nicely done.

Matt Canavan on the tongs.

Matt Canavan on the tongs.

Manning the tools on Tuesday afternoon was party leader David Littleproud, Qantas tormentor and secret upgrader Bridget McKenzie, senator Jacinta Nampijinpa Price and senator Perin Davey, whose three years as a safari cook in Botswana no doubt held her in good stead.

The shindig, organised by Matt Canavan, was attended by everyone who is anyone in the press gallery (and quite a few who aren’t).

Liberals in attendance included Ian Goodenough, Simon Kennedy and Opposition Leader Peter Dutton, who gave a short speech advising anyone who got food poisoning to “blame the Nats”.

Staffers from across the aisle attended including preference whisperer Glenn Druery, now the chief of staff for independent senator Fatima Payman, and Jamie Travers and Josh Lloyd, from the prime minister’s office, as well as Anthony Albanese’s speechwriter, James Newton.

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Rural icon Barnaby Joyce turned up late and loud asking, “Is there any left?”

The feast included bread rolls, potato salad and a lettuce salad which was left on the table looking a little bit unloved. To the surprise of no one.

Don’t drop the C-bomb

The vibe was markedly different on Monday night among those MPs who cannot bring themselves to use the C-word.

We are talking about Christmas, of course.

The word was entirely absent when the “Greens political party” (as Labor delights in calling them) held a “non-denominational seasonal festivity”.

The event drew most Greens MPs, staffers, press gallery journalists and the usual Canberra creatures to feast on mushroom arancini and vegan sausage rolls. Natch. Not spotted in the room was West Australian senator Dorinda Cox, the subject of bullying allegations.

Greens leader Adam Bandt, pictured earlier this month, poked fun at Qantas in his speech.

Greens leader Adam Bandt, pictured earlier this month, poked fun at Qantas in his speech.Credit: Alex Ellinghausen

And coming as it did just as the party made a major capitulation to Labor over housing, the open bar was much-needed.

Greens leader Adam Bandt had an early shout-out for one of this masthead’s scribes, James Massola, for his ceaseless chronicling of the party’s travails, but spent most of his speech making fairly mild jokes about Qantas, leading us to beg our political leaders to find new material.

Bandt, unlike some Greens MPs, still retains his Chairman’s Lounge membership.

According to CBD’s spies, there were more keffiyehs in the room than ties. Make of that what you will.

Way out west

And so to the federated republic of Stokes-Rinehartland, formerly known as the state of Western Australia.

There, Perth’s bafflingly ambitious lord mayor, TV host Basil Zempilas, is standing as the Liberal Party candidate for the state seat of Churchlands at the forthcoming state election. All while remaining on the payroll of mogul Kerry Stokes’ Seven West Media and maintaining close ties to mining mogul Gina Rinehart, who has been “supportive without being someone who has tried to influence”, Zempilas told The Australian Financial Review last week.

Baz was thus at the centre of a crisis which engulfed the WA Liberal Party, making its hapless Victorian and NSW chapters actually look competent.

Political polling, commissioned by an unnamed WA “businessman with Liberal ties”, made Zempilas out to be electoral Viagra, in contrast to the Liberals’ actual leader, Libby Mettam, who is apparently electoral Kryptonite.

Perth Lord Mayor Basil Zempilas is also the WA Liberals’ candidate for the state seat of Churchlands.

Perth Lord Mayor Basil Zempilas is also the WA Liberals’ candidate for the state seat of Churchlands.Credit: 9News Perth

The polling featured prominently in Stokes’ The West Australian newspaper on Tuesday, leading to Mettam issuing a strongly worded statement attacking destablisers and saying “I take Basil at his word” that he had nothing to do with it. She then called a leadership spill, which she won.

Zempilas eventually emerged to face the media. At times his remarks had an absurdist tinge.

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“It was a very weird thing to be part of without being part of it,” he told Radio 6PR of the leadership spill that never was.

He also said was reluctant to “draw a line in the sand” over any leadership aspirations because “there was no sand in play”.

Leigh for the win

The Economist, the weekly magazine that pretentiously describes itself as a newspaper, has just released its annual list of what it considers the best books of the year.

And can you guess which federal MP made the list?

Correct! None other than terrifying overachiever Andrew Leigh, the Ironman, triathlete, marathon runner, podcast host, father of three, federal MP for Fenner and assistant minister for competition, charities, treasury and employment.

Assistant minister Andrew Leigh is an MP of many talents.

Assistant minister Andrew Leigh is an MP of many talents. Credit: Alex Ellinghausen

The brainiac was lauded thanks to his book The Shortest History of Economics, also released as How Economics Explains the World in some markets (Leigh’s 13th tome, by our count). To our mind, Leigh is the first sitting MP to make the list. Malcolm Turnbull and Kevin Rudd must be crying into their cups.

“Can a short book survey the full history of something so vast and remain readable?” The Economist asks its readers.

The Shortest History of Economics by Andrew Leigh.

The Shortest History of Economics by Andrew Leigh.

“To find out, read How Economics Explains the World, by Andrew Leigh.

“In fewer than 200 pages, the author canters through the history of human progress, pausing to explain the economic forces that drove it forward.”

The book has already gone for a reprint.

This masthead’s senior economics correspondent, Shane Wright, also gave the book a positive review, but queried the omission of the economically significant Punic Wars from the insightful sprint through economic history. Can’t have everything, we guess.

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Original URL: https://www.brisbanetimes.com.au/link/follow-20170101-p5ktmm