By Stephen Brook and Kishor Napier-Raman
And so to the wedding of Anthony Norman Albanese and Jodie Haydon. Those even vaguely in the know can’t say a word. The event is accompanied by a vow of silence, wrapped in an omerta, inside a non-disclosure agreement.
And for those still waiting for some sort of nod – we are sorry, but you are probably not on the list.
Jodie Haydon and Prime Minister Anthony Albanese at The Lodge after announcing their engagement.Credit: Alex Ellinghausen
Ever since the PM’s Valentine’s Day proposal, potential dates have bounced around. Albanese confirmed a report in this masthead on Monday that the nuptials would be delayed until after the federal election, which is due by the end of next May. Before this swerve, planning was under way and focused on two big concerns: protesters and paparazzi.
One can imagine the intra-governmental departmental memos that have buzzed around. But Albanese is the prime minister. If PM31 is still in the job by the time invitations go out, it has been deemed acceptable for the wedding to take place at an official residence.
Sydney’s Kirribilli House would be a glorious vista but a nightmare for guests, who would run the gauntlet of all manner of protesters and paparazzi.
Haydon and Albanese at the Midwinter Ball at Parliament House in July.Credit: James Brickwood
The threat of Palestinian activists has been top of mind, but after recent weeks the Prime Minister’s Office must be terrified of the prospect of Greens MP Max Chandler-Mather in a black muscle T screaming along with his new CFMEU buddies “Australia for the working man” as a limo containing Kyle Sandilands and his mother drives by.
And you can’t shield guests from the paparazzi, who would be sitting on a sleek launch on a retainer from every media organisation from New Idea to The Saturday Paper.
So the nice, safe, secure Lodge in Canberra makes more sense.
We predict a tasteful but modest affair. Cossie livs, you understand.
The happy moment.Credit: John Shakespeare
“It’s not like it would be if Malcolm and Lucy [Turnbull] were renewing their vows,” said CBD’s celebrity wedding planner, who predicted Haydon’s large family would make up a fair proportion of the 200 or so guests.
We asked the PM’s office for details but didn’t hear back. More on the date: The Courier Mail recently reported that the couple would marry next year although there exists “a sprightly 94-year-old grandmother on the Haydon side of the equation who is apparently urging them to bring forward the process”. Time will tell.
All of that is assuming Albanese wins the election. If not, they all might head to fashionable eatery Camperdown Commons in Sydney, adjacent to Albanese’s electorate of Grayndler, where all the way back in July 2020 CBD spotted the pair on an early date. Bless.
North Queensland for the honeymoon? Townsville is a favoured holiday destination of the couple, who have also been to Broome, another must-win seat. One thing is certain: the honeymoon won’t be in Hawaii.
PALL MALL PALLAS
Treasurer Tim Pallas has just given his socialising abilities a giant upgrade. The member for Werribee has an intriguing new addition to the list of clubs and organisations in his register of interests, which, somewhat predictably, includes the Australian Labor Party, the United Workers Union, Italian Sports Club of Werribee, Werribee CFA, Melbourne Storm and Western Bulldogs Football Club.
Werribee and beyond: Treasurer Tim Pallas. Credit: Jason South
So far, so hard-working local member and former trade unionist. But it looks like Pallas is more wine than beer these days. He has joined the ultra-exclusive 67 Pall Mall, a “global private member’s club for wine lovers”.
It will open next year at 85 Spring Street, “offering members nearly 21,500 sq ft of unprecedented access to fine wines through one of the broadest wine lists in Australia, with 5000 by the bottle and 1000 by the glass”.
“The new Melbourne outpost will not only provide masterclasses with the world’s top winemakers and chateau owners, but will also provide Victorian wine producers the opportunity to be showcased throughout 67 Pall Mall’s global network of clubs, allowing for a wider international reach.”
Other club locations include London, Singapore, Hong Kong and, for those apres ski enthusiasts, the Swiss resort town of Verbier.
“The treasurer is a member of the club, and pays his own membership fees,” a spokesman for Pallas said.
Not very Werribee behaviour, it must be said.
IS LETTUCE LIZ HEADING DOWN UNDER?
Brace yourselves, the annual Australian edition of the Conservative Political Action Conference, the right’s answer to Woodstock, returns next month.
Brisbane will host the 2024 edition’s fairly standard line-up of homegrown conservative agitators – Coalition senators Matt Canavan, Alex Antic, and Bridget McKenzie, former deputy prime minister Barnaby Joyce, former resources minister Keith Pitt, their defecting colleague Gerard Rennick and a couple of Sky News regulars.
Former British prime minister Liz Truss.Credit: PA via AP
More intriguing are the yet to be announced headline acts, which include a former British prime minister, probably a female if the profile on CPAC’s website is anything to go by.
Baroness Thatcher, who no doubt would be CPAC No.1 choice, is sadly unavailable. That leaves two options – Theresa May or Liz Truss, the latter best known for a 44-day stint in No. 10, which was outlasted by a lettuce.
Alas, CPAC boss Andrew Cooper didn’t return our calls, but our money is on Truss, a big fan of Australia, who once attended the 2019 Midwinter Ball (courtesy of then high commissioner to the United Kingdom George Brandis), where she sat next to Qantas boss Alan Joyce.
In fact, this very column revealed Truss and Brandis were spotted boogieing the night away at a gay nightclub in Manchester during the 2021 Tory party conference. Maybe they could re-enact their moves at Brisbane’s the Beat MegaClub? We can’t wait.
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