I dated a friend. After we broke up, we found a way to be mates again

New Zealand-born musician and actor Marlon Williams, 34, is best known for his Māori-language album, Te Whare Tīwekaweka. Throughout his music career he has collaborated with several strong women, including Lorde. As he discusses the influential women in his life, he’s weighing up marriage and kids with his current partner.

Marlon Williams enjoyed close relationships with both his grandmothers.Credit: Ian Laidlaw

My paternal nanna, Rīeka, was the daughter of a Māori minister who didn’t speak any English. She had seven children with my grandfather and raised them on her own when he left. My dad, David, was the man of the house from the age of seven.

I used to sing gospel songs with Nanna as a child. She met an amazing man, Rod, later in life – they bought a house bus when she was in her 50s, and spent the last 15 years of her life going up and down the country. She was the matriarch of the family and everybody loved her. She died when I was 17.

My maternal nanna, Josie, was born in Dover, England, and moved to New Zealand in the 1950s after she met my grandfather in London. She celebrated her 97th birthday in October. She is very straightforward, has a daily routine and doesn’t want for much; she finds joy in the simple happenings of a normal day. I live a very fast-paced life, and when I sit with her, I am forced to slow down.

My mum, Jennifer Rendall, is a visual artist and paints. She has an artist’s eye of the world, and is good at finding beauty in landscapes and in structures that aren’t obvious to others. She has instilled that aesthetic view of the world in me. She brought me up singing Māori songs and encouraged me with my creative career. The artwork on my new album is a drawing she made in the months before I was born. I am an only child.

Marriage is something I can see happening one day; I am not one of these modern anti-marriage people.

Marlon Williams, musician

When I was nine, I saw the movie Labyrinth and fell in love with actress Jennifer Connelly. She was 15, and I wished she was my babysitter. Before that, I had a crush on Dorothy from The Wizard of Oz.

I had my first kiss aged 11 while playing spin the bottle at primary school. I also remember seeing a girl I had a crush on holding hands with another boy. My heart sank – it was that first stab of the heart that cuts deep.

My first high school girlfriend was a violinist – we connected through music. We were both in My Fair Lady. We dated for a few months when I was 14.

I dated a friend [New Zealand-born songwriter Hannah “Aldous” Harding] for a few years; we broke up in 2016. We’ve been friends since we were teenagers, and our friendship is something we can lean on now – it’s bigger than the politics of breaking up.

I met NZ singer/songwriter Lorde [Ella Yelich-O’Connor] in 2015. We both put out break-up albums in 2018 and found good company in each other while on relentless touring schedules. She has this intensity and sharpness around music-making, and I found being around her exciting and warm.

I met [New-Zealand acting coach] Dame Miranda Harcourt in 2016. She’s a total powerhouse. She taught me how to go from being a musician on stage to being in TV and film. As a singer, she said, I am filling up the room, but to go to film is to be an observer and find your corner of the story. She has distilled a practical way of how to be an empath. I did True History of the Kelly Gang with her daughter, Thomasin McKenzie.

Musician Laura Jean Englert is a dear friend. Her self-titled album in 2014 brought a shift to how I make my own music. She came on tour with me a few times. I worked on her album Amateurs in 2022 with Harding. I first met her at the Yarra Hotel in Abbotsford [Melbourne] in 2014; it was the eve of the grand final, and she was singing a song. We hit it off.

I am in a relationship now and it’s going great. We have been dating for a year. Marriage is something I can see happening one day; I am not one of these modern anti-marriage people. I see the value of having the people you love around you, bearing witness to your commitment, but not in that conservative fuddy-duddy way. I go back and forth on whether I’ll have kids – it doesn’t sit easily with me.

Marlon Williams’ album Te Whare Tīwekaweka is out now.

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