Hatred of Meghan has reached grotesque levels. This would not happen to a man

I have a sick, churning feeling in my gut; that nagging knowledge that what I am seeing isn’t just wrong – it’s ugly and it smacks of sexism.

Yes, my angst involves Donald Trump, as it so often does, only this time he is not alone in being a bully and a boofhead. It emerged when Trump recently derided Meghan, the Duchess of Sussex, publicly claiming he won’t deport her husband Prince Harry because “he’s got enough problems with his wife”, who he had earlier described as “terrible”.

Meghan Markle, the Duchess of Sussex, records a podcast last month.

There wasn’t a murmur of discontent; no media backlash to this man re-enforcing that tired old trope of an evil woman ruining an otherwise good man.

Meghan, regardless of what you think of her, is someone who has publicly admitted to suicidal ideation, yet both social and traditional media are piling on regardless. In the digital Colosseum we live in, spectators are baying for blood. It is grotesque.

This week, I had to stop following several commentators on my feeds, as I find their persecution of this woman cruel. In headlines she is described as pathetic, try-hard, narcissistic, deluded, desperate and self-obsessed, to name a few.

It seems Markle can’t blow her nose without receiving sneering derision. Reports question everything from her authenticity to her sanity. She’s accused of emasculating her spouse and deliberately bringing down a family. There have been critiques of her “blackness”, her career – even her mothering skills.

In a world beset by wars, where women and children are being killed daily, I can’t understand how Meghan ended up the devil incarnate. Alleged rapist and sex trafficker Diddy seems to be getting off lighter in terms of opprobrium.

Could her gender have something to do with it? Would a man receive the same level of vitriol under the same circumstances? My gut is telling me subversive sexism is afoot – again.

Carly Dober, policy co-ordinator for the Australian Association of Psychologists agrees, citing the treatment of Markle as the perpetuation of a patriarchal trope of taking down unlikeable women who don’t obey conventional norms.

“Women are easy pickings,” she explains. “Men get threatened by women in positions of power because it challenges the status quo, especially if, like Markle, they don’t follow the rules.”

“Historically, women’s behaviour has been something to be policed and critiqued through a set of rules such as how they look, act, dress and talk. The same kind of policing does not happen to men.”

It would be easy to think of Meghan as an anomaly, but sadly she’s not. Cue Blake Lively and her upcoming case against co-star and director Justin Baldoni. Anyone would think the actor is killing kittens with the volume of contempt and spite she is also copping, with “diva”, “bitch” and “schemer” accusations flying and sticking.

Yes, the behind-the-scenes machinations of a Hollywood star allegedly throwing her weight around, making unreasonable demands of her director and alleging sexual misconduct are titillating. But I can’t help but think these accusations would not be viewed as heinous should Lively be a bloke.

Markle and Lively might have made mistakes, spoken out of turn, been demanding– whatever. But this level of condemnation is not commensurate. The glee with which they are being brought down to size is ugly. It’s a feast of schadenfreude.

Which reminds me of the first time I experienced the unsettling tug at my conscience I am experiencing while witnessing the virtual witch burnings of these women today. I was a child and the victim that time was Lindy Chamberlain. Remember how that persecution turned out?

Wendy Squires is a writer and author.

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