Foraged petals, present parenting: Meghan Markle’s ‘working mum’ life is far removed from reality

It happens to all female celebrities with an Instagram following once they have children.

As well as becoming mothers, these screen stars turned influencers become self-styled “professors” of parenting.

Meghan, Duchess of Sussex on her Netflix show With Love, Meghan.Credit: Netflix

Now we can add the Duchess of Sussex to that heady mix, with a new series purporting to provide a distance learning MA in Mothering via Netflix.

It’s like an Open University course for women who do not know how to chop up fruit or have never encouraged a child to dip a carrot baton into a pot of hummus. Did you know that you can make crudites out of cucumber and peppers? No, we didn’t, Meghan – thank goodness you are here to guide us through this vegetable minefield.

Meghan has claimed many things over the years. That the Archbishop of Canterbury married her and Prince Harry three days before the wedding at Windsor Castle in 2018. That Kate made her cry – and not the other way round. That she was always sweetness and light to her staff.

But we have really crossed the rubicon of Meghan’s “truth” with the claim that filming With Love, Meghan and creating her new business, As Ever, has allowed her to show her children the realities of being a “working mom”.

Meghan, Duchess of Sussex, finesses a sponge cake with her make-up artist, Daniel Martin, in With Love, Meghan.

As if! I’m not sure many working mothers out there have time to watch a series telling viewers “how to throw a good kid’s party, how to have girls’ brunch in the garden and how to be present”, let alone re-enact it.

On Planet Meghan – where chefs make the food, stylists pick the wardrobe, hairstylists tease the locks and make-up artists perfect the smudged eyeliner – working mothers bake focaccia, salt bake fish and “single skillet spaghetti”.

They also “craft mixed drinks in mason jars”, learn mahjong and indulge their love of flower arranging.

Back in the real world, Birds Eye fish fingers are served with a beaker of squash; Mahjong is the takeaway you call when there’s nothing left in the fridge. Jam making is left to the retired or insane.

When did you last sprinkle foraged petals on your children’s breakfast cereal? Give Meghan a decade – she’ll realise that teenage boys “decorate” Weet-Bix with more Weet-Bix.

“I see myself as an entrepreneur and a female founder, and if the brand ends up influential, then that’s great,” said Meghan in the vein of someone who has never had a proper job. No, calligraphy, starring on Suits and being a royal doesn’t count.

No actual working mother would ever utter the words: “It’s a real delight being able to be a present parent.” There’s nothing delightful about working from home when the children are there – just ask anyone who endured the horror of COVID remote schooling.

And while it’s truly heartwarming that Harry and Meghan are in it “beat by beat” with each other, might the multi-millionaire prince’s unconditional spousal support be down to the fact that he hasn’t had a proper job since he left the British Army either?

Prince Harry with Meghan. Credit: AP

“I’ve always loved taking something pretty ordinary and elevating it,” said Meghan in arguably her most honest appraisal of her marriage to date.

If the Sussexes really were genuine working parents, they’d have a better idea of what it actually entails: postponed sex due to exhaustion, endless bargaining over the school run, repeated arguments about who is making dinner, petty squabbles involving loaded dishwashers and never-ending washing piles.

All this choreographed Instaporn achieves is to make working mothers feel even more inadequate for not leading this sort of perfect and polished existence.

Meghan, just spare us your take on how we should live our lives until you are a bit more honest about how you lead yours.

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