Dreading time with family this weekend? Try these ideas for a harmonious get-together

One of the many benefits of the mini-break known as Easter is the opportunity to spend time with family. Whether it’s a time to celebrate faith or just a chance to indulge in a truckload of chocolate, it’s not unusual to find yourself in the company of relatives, close and not-so-close.

Relationships Australia national executive officer Nick Tebbey says many people look forward to such gatherings.

Easter is a great opportunity to celebrate with family.Credit: Getty Images

“A lot of people find being with family nourishing, and they focus on the positives,” he says.

But he says there’s also a growing cohort who find family time fraught, often for the same reason.

“Every second December, we release a ‘state of the nation’ on relationships, and for the first time, the third-highest pressure was different values and belief systems, which accounted for almost one-quarter (23 per cent) of Australians.”

That’s almost double the number of Australians in 2022.

Tebbey says there are a number of strategies you can use, including limiting your time at family events, steering away from difficult topics, or taking time out. If gathering together for lunch this Easter Sunday makes you feel anxious, here are five ideas to get you through. You might be surprised by how fun they can be.

Easter egg hunt

Let’s get the obvious one out of the way first. Dietary requirements aside, the small, brightly coloured eggs are the best for this purpose. Make sure you count how many you have hidden around the garden so that the family dog doesn’t discover a miscellaneous egg a week later. It’s up to you, but this activity is generally better as a “kids-only” affair.

Family trivia

It’s the same concept as pub trivia, but instead of general knowledge, the questions are just about family members. Make sure there are questions about everyone in the family, no matter their age, and encourage cross-generational teams for optimum chances of winning. If nothing else, it’s an informal way to update everyone on family news. A small prize, like a box of chocolates, is often a nice way to finish.

Sing-along

It’s not unusual for a few family members to play an instrument or two. This is an ideal activity for families where there are a few guitars – or guitarists – lying around. Perfect for that mid-afternoon slump where conversation can sometimes go off the rails, having a few (popular) prepared songs can be useful to get started. Be prepared to share instruments, or ask musically minded relatives to bring their instruments along.

Free or low-cost games

Got a few toilet rolls handy? What about plastic drinking cups? Add in some table-tennis balls or a few small toys and you have the makings of an hour or two of entertainment for everyone, no matter their age or ability.

This Instagram account from Ludovic Cretoni features games designed to help seniors stay active in mind and body, using mostly household objects. In reality, they have almost universal appeal. Try intergenerational competitions, boys against girls, whatever works for your family. Make it more interesting by assigning the losing team clean-up duties while the cook, or cooks, put their feet up.

Puzzles, card games and board games

Most families will have a few board games floating around. If you’re not hosting, offer to bring along a board game or two or a deck of cards and set up once dessert has been cleared away. For some families, games are a serious business, so pick your battles carefully. With younger children, a simple game of “snap” or “memory” is easy enough. Alternatively, puzzles with 500 pieces or less can be an ideal passive activity where hands and minds are busy, but talk is confined to finding the corners and all the pieces of the sky.

Making music together is an opportunity to foster connection across generations.Credit: Getty Images

Time-out activities

If the afternoon is stretching out ahead of you, and it’s likely you can’t leave for an hour or two, Tebbey says it’s absolutely reasonable to give yourself a time-out.

“If a conversation is making you feel uncomfortable, give yourself permission to take a break from it,” he says. “Go for a walk or go to your room or say, ‘Can we change the subject?’”

If you’re hosting, consider streaming an uncontroversial film you think everyone will enjoy.

The littlies will love an Easter egg huntCredit: Nick Moir

In the end, you’re under no obligation to stay indefinitely, says Tebbey.

“You can make a promise to your kids that you will only stay for a period of time,” he says. “People benefit from that kind of structure, and it builds our resilience to handle a situation. You’re not asking yourself, ‘How much longer can I handle this?’”

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