As I dropped my child at kinder, every parent’s worst nightmare was unfolding

Around the same time yesterday morning as I was wiping away a tear from a little face at kinder drop-off, one that had already argued with me about what to wear and pleaded for five more minutes of TV, Melbourne parents’ worst nightmare was unfolding.

When tens of thousands of the country’s children were – safely I might add – starting “group time” at day care centres, we learnt that there has been an alleged monster in our midst.

News of a Melbourne daycare worker being charged with abuse has rocked parents across Australia.Credit: iStock

What we now know is that 26-year-old Joshua Dale Brown has been charged with more than 70 offences, including child rape, while working at Creative Garden Early Learning Centre in Point Cook between April 2022 and January 2023.

His eight alleged victims were as young as five months old, a baby barely old enough to eat solids let alone utter the word “no”, or know what constitutes criminal behaviour by a trusted adult.

The nightmare doesn’t end there. An anxious, sleepless wait continues for hundreds more parents at 19 other child care centres where Brown worked over an eight-year period, as police investigate whether any alleged abuse happened across those sites. More than 1200 children are being tested for sexually transmitted infections.

My hand trembled as my mouse scrolled through the alleged facts. Nausea at the picture the words in front of my eyes were painting. Sadness, for the families involved, but also for the excellent male child care workers who are likely being viewed with increased suspicion. Panic. Can we ever be sure our children are safe, and have I been taking my own child’s safety for granted since I placed her in care nearly three years ago? And, the overriding question, how on earth did this happen?

Upon hearing the news, a girlfriend messaged, distressed at the realisation that a few years ago, she had tried – unsuccessfully – to get her son into the very centre where Brown was working at the time. There but for the grace of god. Other parents I know felt the instinctive urge to rush to their own children’s day cares and scoop them up in their arms. I felt it, too.

Sadly, this is not the first horror story to have emerged from the child care sector in the past year. We all recall the case in Queensland of Ashley Paul Griffith, a former child care worker who allegedly sexually abused dozens of children in his care in Brisbane and Italy.

There was also the shocking case of a three-year-old girl who suffered such poor hygiene and neglect at her Sydney day care – her nappy was changed so infrequently that she held her urine all day – that she will likely need a kidney transplant. And the list goes on.

Working parents already face a range of agonising decisions when weighing up whether to place their children into paid care. There are considerations about sleep, diet, socialisation, educational programming and how much outdoor space there is for their precious little bodies to move and play and grow. Their safety should be a given. But on weeks like these, we are reminded that even that cannot, should not, be taken for granted.

When scenarios beyond our worst imagination strike at the institutions where parents, already ridden with guilt, leave our children, suddenly, nothing in life feels safe.

Of course, this country is blessed with thousands of incredible day care centres and educators who play a vital role in shaping young minds and enabling parents to work. The government has benchmarks for child protection that every accredited centre must meet, and moves are already afoot to strengthen these. And still, sometimes things are missed, terrible mistakes happen.

Yesterday afternoon, I collected my child, gave her a tighter-than-usual squeeze, then tried my best to go about our evening routine as normal. We went to the library and ate tacos, her little face blissfully unaware of the horrors unfolding a few kilometres away. I counted myself lucky, and thought of the parents who last night couldn’t say the same thing. I tucked her into bed, went downstairs, made a tea, and just cried.

Sally, a parent at a Point Cook centre where Brown worked perhaps put it best when she told this masthead, “Now I’m blaming myself that … maybe I shouldn’t work … you think it’s the safest place to drop them, but no, it’s not.”

Was there a part of me that felt slightly shaky at the prospect of sending her to day care again this morning? I’d be lying if I said no, but realise it is something I will likely overcome with time. Because, for many of us, there is no choice. If only it was so simple for the children and parents who have been directly involved. Their nightmare is far from over.

Melissa Singer is associate editor of Sunday Life magazine.

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