‘Being married to a musician isn’t easy’: The Living End’s Chris Cheney

Chris Cheney is a musician best known as the frontman for the Living End. The 47-year-old talks about growing up in a musical family, not dating in school and why it took three phone calls for him to accept a date with his future wife.

Chris Cheney: “I come from a family where you stick together through thick and thin – it felt inevitable marriage would be my path.”

My maternal grandmother, Thelma, would put on funny frog voices and play the spoons when I was a kid – she was like an old-school entertainer. She used to play her organ and belt out The Deer Hunter theme song, too.

My paternal grandmother, Gwendolynne, also played the organ. She was a big part of the Salvation Army, always singing spirituals and hymns around the house. She died when I was 22 and sadly didn’t get to see any of my musical success.

My mum, Jeanette, is 80. She is a very nurturing woman who worked as a secretary. She separated from my father when I was three, but they got back together. It’s a foggy memory that isn’t spoken of much in our household.

My parents played squash and were sporty – that’s how they met. Dad [Noel] died 10 years ago. He wasn’t an overly sociable person and I respect Mum a lot because I’m sure he was a difficult partner. He should have been diagnosed with depression and dealt with it, but he’s of that generation that didn’t face it. Mum always tried to protect me and my sister Samantha from Dad’s mood swings.

Mum was quite the disciplinarian and made sure I got my homework done. While she always encouraged me to play music, she would have to tell me to put the guitar down at night and go to sleep because I wouldn’t stop. She got me into guitar lessons and later managed our fan club, making photocopies to promote our gigs when we first started as the Runaway Boys.

My sister Samantha is four years older than me. She lost her husband nine years ago. His side of the family have chosen to disconnect, so she has raised their three kids on her own. It hasn’t been an easy path. I feel I’ve become the dominant male in our family as a result of that.

I didn’t have girlfriends at high school. I wasn’t one of those guys who ever got noticed. My first girlfriend was the sister of our first drummer. I was 18. She approached me and showed interest. We spent a few months together and it was eye-opening. I felt on top of the world.

A drama teacher at Wheelers Hill Secondary College, Barbara Mothersdale, was a big inspiration to me and [Living End bassist] Scott Owen. She saw that Scott and I had potential and encouraged us.

I met my wife, Emma, when I was 22 at a club called Joey’s in Prahran. She mistook me for someone else but somehow got my number and rang a week later to ask me out for a drink. I was seeing another girl, although it wasn’t serious. I was really torn and told Emma I had to take a rain check.

She rang again a week later and I declined again. I didn’t want to be with the other woman, but I wanted to be respectful. Emma rang a third time and we started dating soon after.

I was 30 when we married. I come from a family where you stick together through thick and thin – it felt inevitable marriage would be my path.

Being married to a musician isn’t easy. Emma has seen me go from struggling and living with my parents to us moving in together, buying a house and seeing the Living End explode in 1996. She has kept me grounded over all these years.

I was absent a lot because I was off travelling with the band. There was a lot of female admiration and attention and Emma didn’t feel comfortable. I didn’t notice it or buy into it. She never gave me a hard time about the touring, even when the kids came along.

We have two daughters, Charlie, 16, and Scarlett, 13. Our youngest recently told me I am much more interesting on Instagram than I am in real life.

Chris Cheney’s debut solo album, The Storm Before the Calm, is out now.

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