By Jake Wilson
RED ONE ★★
(PG) 123 minutes
In case any buffs are wondering, Jake Kasdan’s Red One has no direct connection to Sam Fuller’s World War II classic The Big Red One, with Mark Hamill as a young American soldier in Europe and Lee Marvin as his hard-boiled sergeant. Kasdan’s film does, however, involve a couple of guys caught up in another high-stakes global conflict, with Chris Evans and Dwayne Johnson, aka The Rock, embarking on what is now the annual struggle to save Christmas.
J.K. Simmons (Santa Claus) and Dwayne Johnson (Callum Drift) in Red One.Credit:
The term “red one” in this context refers to Santa Claus (J.K. Simmons), who’s long employed Johnson’s staunch character Callum Drift as bodyguard and right-hand man. After several centuries in the job, Callum finds his Christmas spirit waning, and once he’s got through a final round of deliveries he plans on a well-earned retirement.
Shortly before the big night, however, the man in red is kidnapped from his high-security compound at the North Pole. Callum has just 24 hours to set things right, with the unwilling aid of cynical hacker and bounty hunter Jack O’Malley (Evans). This quest sees the duo magically zipping around the world, battling entities such as a shapeshifting witch (Kieran Shipka), a horde of abominable snowmen, and Santa’s estranged brother Krampus (Kristofer Hivju), while Jack also finds time to learn how to be a better father to his young son (Wesley Kimmel).
Intermittently on hand is Lucy Liu as head of a secret taskforce responsible for overseeing the mythological realm – suggesting Kasdan and screenwriter Chris Morgan (Fast Five) have been given the task of launching yet another “cinematic universe”, designed to appeal to all ages while capitalising on public domain IP. But this seems like a forlorn hope.
Chris Evans as bounty hunter Jack O’Malley and Dwayne Johnson as Santa’s bodyguard Callum Drift in Red One. Credit:
Never transcending its status as family-friendly product, Red One is weakly written and unevenly directed: effects-heavy action sequences alternate with lifeless interludes of Christmas-themed banter, edited in a manner that suggests the stars spent only a limited amount of time together on set.
Johnson, at least, is typecast in a role he knows how to play: the staunch alpha male who’s an innocent kid at heart. Evans is less fortunate, since the film can’t decide whether he’s meant to be a tough guy or a goofy audience surrogate in the manner of Paul Rudd. And despite his leather jacket and stubble, he remains too much of a straight arrow to fit either role very convincingly.
As seasonal cash-grabs go, Red One is relatively benign. The film’s version of Santa may keep an extensive “naughty list” that includes children and adults, but his ethos is all about spreading goodwill rather than dishing out punishment.
From the viewer’s perspective, however, Christmas cheer is in short supply – especially considering that not so long ago Kasdan was capable of making movies worth seeing, such as the cult favourite Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story. If any ghosts wanted to show up and remind him of the true meaning of cinema, it wouldn’t be too soon.
Red One is released in cinemas on November 7.
Find out the next TV, streaming series and movies to add to your must-sees. Get The Watchlist delivered every Thursday.