$100 million and counting: Barnes is back but Mariah leads Christmas cash-in

Ka-Ching! Ka-Ching! Ka-Ching!

No, that’s not the sound of Santa’s sleigh bells, but rather the unmistakable sound of cash registers ringing in the great celebrity Christmas haul, as the seemingly indefatigable formula of cringy nostalgia and yuletide kitsch once again works its magic emptying the pockets of the adoring masses.

Jimmy Barnes, Australia’s new father Christmas?

A week ago, Jimmy Barnes topped the ARIA charts with his Blue Christmas album, which includes Barnsey’s – ahem – unique takes on hallowed carols like Silent Night, bumping Taylor Swift out of the top spot and delivering himself a nice little Christmas earner.

“This is a fantastic Christmas present and I’m grateful to receive it. It’s been a rough week given that I’ve withdrawn from summer touring to have surgery,” Barnsey said after learning his album had hit No.1, just days after announcing he was having to pause his live shows to go under the knife.

An Australian Christmas day wouldn't be the same without a good dose of Michael Buble.

“I’d like to say that the warm reception for this album has put a spring in my step, but that would be a medical miracle right now. Instead, I’ll just say thanks to everyone who keeps listening to my new music and thank all the people behind the scenes for their help. I wish everyone the happiest of holidays and can’t wait to get back onstage next year.”

But Barnsey has a long way to go to even come close to the festive season sales fellow crooner Michael Buble has racked up with his schmaltzy Christmas album, which has been certified a rare double diamond, meaning sales over 1 million copies in Australia alone. Buble’s yuletide money spinner has enjoyed 87 weeks on the Australian album charts in the 11 years since it was first released, shooting up from 80th spot to land at No.36 last week.

But when it comes to singles, it is no surprise Mariah Carey holds the global crown of Christmas Queen thanks to her 1994 track, the interminable All I Want For Christmas, which is classified as having gone platinum nine times in Australia, which means sales exceeding 630,000 copies – nearly twice as many as Wham’s 1984 hit Last Christmas.

Carey’s All I Want For Christmas has held the No.1 spot in Australia every year at Christmas since 2018 and we are showing no signs of getting sick of it.

Last week All I Want For Christmas had again surged up the chart, sitting just a whisker outside the top 10 on the Singles Chart at No.11, climbing from No.50 the previous week.

Queen of Christmas, Mariah Carey.Credit: WireImage/Getty

And it’s the same in her home market in America, where after nearly 30 years the song has climbed to the top of the Billboard Hot 100 at Christmas for three years straight, and will probably do it again this year.

An analysis in 2016 by The Economist found that Carey makes about $3.6 million (US$2.5 million) a year for the song, which is now up to about $106 million (US$72 million), and counting.

That includes royalties from streaming services like Apple Music and Spotify, which last year revealed the song had exceeded 1 billion streams, including a reported 5 million a day.

The song has cemented her position as the top ranking celebrity Christmas attraction, cashing in with deals like her mega-buck endorsement of a “Mariah Menu” at McDonald’s restaurants across America last year, and her various Christmas television specials.

The next generation of singers could only dream of such guaranteed earning power every year, though Dua Lipa appears to have an eye on the prize too. Last she launched her own range of Christmas merchandising, ranging from gift wrapping paper to coffee mugs.

Carols By Candlelight "family" Marina Prior and David Hobson.Credit: Luis Ascui

Delta Goodrem also appears to be doing ok out of the festive season, backing up for her second lucrative Christmas TV special on Nine, obviously inspired by Mariah’s success.

Similarly, food stylist turned gourmet goddess Donna Hay wasn’t going to miss out on generating a bit of Christmas revenue with her new Donna Hay Christmas series on Disney+. Not only is she whipping up pavlovas, the show is sprinkled with QR codes that appear onscreen that links to the recipes featured on the show, and online retail sites to buy Hay’s own merch range.

The great Aussie television Christmas carol battle is about to get underway once again between duelling networks Seven and Nine.

While Seven’s show raises money for The Salvation Army and Nine for Vision Australia, behind the scenes, the competition for talent, sponsor dollars and audience numbers is anything but charitable.

Dedicated caroller Rhonda Burchmore.Credit: The Age

Sunrise co-hosts Natalie Barr and David Koch will be hosting the 40th anniversary Carols In The Domain, which is shot next Saturday in Sydney but doesn’t go to air until Friday, December 23, the day before Nine’s Carols By Candlelight, which is broadcast live from Melbourne and hosted by David Campbell and Brooke Boney.

Two years ago, Rhonda Burchmore broke down in tears when she revealed she’d been dumped from the Carols By Candlelight lineup, which remains in a tight grip of headline act Marina Prior singing Ding Dong Merrily On High in a ballgown bigger than the North Pole.

This year Burchmore has switched allegiance and found refuge as one of the stars to appear on rival Seven’s carols extravaganza, in a career move that truly is a Christmas miracle.