Everything is so carefully styled at Christian Louboutin’s new hotel that I catch myself examining the embossed loo paper to see if it bears the hotel’s trademark V.

It doesn’t, but it wouldn’t be unrealistic in a suite where coat hangers, shoehorn and bathroom bin are clad in sexy red leather, and where the V for the hotel’s name, Vermelho, forms part of the decorative cube on the door handles. They open doors of thick ash with geometric patterns you can’t stop running your hands over, while tiny pairs of metallic feet act as door stops.