Weirdest SA traffic fines you didn’t know existed

A recent reminder from SA Police that fishing rod holders on bull bars are actually illegal and could get you fined had plenty of South Australian motorists scratching their heads.

Steve Rice and Nathan Davies

less than 2 min read

November 16, 2019 - 11:00AM

Sunday Mail (SA)

Use light to dazzle other road users ($315 and one demerit point). 2018-19: 130 offences – 22 fines, 108 cautions. Look, we all want our cars to look like Studio 54 circa 1978, and if you can’t bring a bit of disco to the Castle Plaza car park on Saturday night then what’s the point of even owning a vehicle? Just be aware, Disco Duck, that “dazzling” other road users with your luminescent genius could result in your wallet being emptied quicksmart.

1/14Use light to dazzle other road users ($315 and one demerit point). 2018-19: 130 offences – 22 fines, 108 cautions. Look, we all want our cars to look like Studio 54 circa 1978, and if you can’t bring a bit of disco to the Castle Plaza car park on Saturday night then what’s the point of even owning a vehicle? Just be aware, Disco Duck, that “dazzling” other road users with your luminescent genius could result in your wallet being emptied quicksmart.

Fail to wear appropriate/approved bicycle helmet ($169 fine). 2018-19: 5508 offences – 2664 fines, 2844 cautions. This is a biggy, folks. More than 5500 South Australians were busted for this offence last financial year and 2664 of them copped fines. The fact that you’re a member of the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster doesn’t mean you can wear a colander on your noggin.

2/14Fail to wear appropriate/approved bicycle helmet ($169 fine). 2018-19: 5508 offences – 2664 fines, 2844 cautions. This is a biggy, folks. More than 5500 South Australians were busted for this offence last financial year and 2664 of them copped fines. The fact that you’re a member of the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster doesn’t mean you can wear a colander on your noggin.

Stop on traffic island ($160 fine). 2018-19: two offences – one fine, one caution. Islands are generally wonderful places with friendly local people, drinks with umbrellas in them and some kind of dish made with raw fish, lime and coconut milk. Kick back on Traffic Island, however, and you might find yourself with more than a drinks bill.

3/14Stop on traffic island ($160 fine). 2018-19: two offences – one fine, one caution. Islands are generally wonderful places with friendly local people, drinks with umbrellas in them and some kind of dish made with raw fish, lime and coconut milk. Kick back on Traffic Island, however, and you might find yourself with more than a drinks bill.

Drive air-cushioned or prescribed light vehicle on or over a road without the approval of the minister ($375 fine). 2018-19: 50 offences – 14 fines, 36 cautions. I don’t know about you but I don’t even want to live in a state where you can’t drive a hovercraft to work. Clearly plenty of South Australians agree with me. This is one rule that should be on the “to be abolished” list.

4/14Drive air-cushioned or prescribed light vehicle on or over a road without the approval of the minister ($375 fine). 2018-19: 50 offences – 14 fines, 36 cautions. I don’t know about you but I don’t even want to live in a state where you can’t drive a hovercraft to work. Clearly plenty of South Australians agree with me. This is one rule that should be on the “to be abolished” list.

Travel in motor vehicle with part of body outside vehicle ($253 fine, three demerit points). 2018-19: 160 offences – 38 fines, 122 cautions. Riding down the highway, going to a show, sticking my right elbow, out of my window … an excellent way to cop a $253 fine and three demerit points, as 38 people found out last year. Keep your parts – all of your parts – inside your vehicle.

5/14Travel in motor vehicle with part of body outside vehicle ($253 fine, three demerit points). 2018-19: 160 offences – 38 fines, 122 cautions. Riding down the highway, going to a show, sticking my right elbow, out of my window … an excellent way to cop a $253 fine and three demerit points, as 38 people found out last year. Keep your parts – all of your parts – inside your vehicle.

Fail to ride bicycle with at least one hand on the handlebars ($120 fine). 2018-19: 44 offences – 21 fines, 23 cautions. Look mum, no hands! But trust us, mum’s not impressed. Riding on the road is dangerous enough with two hands on the handlebars. It’s more dangerous with one hand on the handlebars. But no hands? We’re not sure what the 44 South Australians fined or cautioned with the offence were thinking.

6/14Fail to ride bicycle with at least one hand on the handlebars ($120 fine). 2018-19: 44 offences – 21 fines, 23 cautions. Look mum, no hands! But trust us, mum’s not impressed. Riding on the road is dangerous enough with two hands on the handlebars. It’s more dangerous with one hand on the handlebars. But no hands? We’re not sure what the 44 South Australians fined or cautioned with the offence were thinking.

Stop within 1m of a fire hydrant or fire plug indicator ($143 fine). 2018-19: 10 offences – five fines, five cautions. There’s a lot of things you don’t want to be in this life – a person who reclines on short flights, Simon Cowell – but the person you really don’t want be is the person who stops firefighters from saving a building because you’ve parked your 2003 Hyundai Getz in front of a fire hydrant.

7/14Stop within 1m of a fire hydrant or fire plug indicator ($143 fine). 2018-19: 10 offences – five fines, five cautions. There’s a lot of things you don’t want to be in this life – a person who reclines on short flights, Simon Cowell – but the person you really don’t want be is the person who stops firefighters from saving a building because you’ve parked your 2003 Hyundai Getz in front of a fire hydrant.

8/14Ride animal-drawn vehicle at night without lights ($120 fine)
2018-19: one caution

9/14Travel past no-wheeled recreational device or toys sign ($120 fine). 2018-19: one caution

10/14Stay on crossing longer than necessary to cross road safely ($111 fine).
2018-19: four offences – one fine, three cautions

Park close to vehicle in front or behind ($132 fine). 2018:19 five offences – two fines, three cautions. It’s happened to everyone – you find the perfect park in the city, only to return after dinner to find that the person in front of you has left you exactly one nanometre of space and the person behind has left you even less. You have two choices – attempt a 968-point turn or just tear your number plates off and pretend it’s not your car.

11/14Park close to vehicle in front or behind ($132 fine). 2018:19 five offences – two fines, three cautions. It’s happened to everyone – you find the perfect park in the city, only to return after dinner to find that the person in front of you has left you exactly one nanometre of space and the person behind has left you even less. You have two choices – attempt a 968-point turn or just tear your number plates off and pretend it’s not your car.

12/14Travel in wheeled toy on (prohibited) road at (prohibited time) ($120 fine). 2018-19: seven offences – three fines, four cautions

13/14Use horn when not permitted to do so ($253 fine). 2018-19: 50 offences – 20 fines, 30 cautions

14/14Parking near Parliament House ($190 fine). 2018-19: 24 offences – 21 fines, three cautions

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Weirdest SA traffic fines you didn’t know existed

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