Survivor of abusive man Stephen Francis Cailes calls for legal change after he avoids more jail for strangling, choking and threatening her

He choked, suffocated and threatened to cut the fingers off his partner – but has avoided further time in jail. Now his victim says she’s terrified what might happen next.

Convicted domestic violence abuser Stephen Francis Cailes, who threatened to cut his partner’s fingers off with a garden tool. Picture: Facebook

A possessive and controlling man who choked and suffocated his partner, and threatened to cut off her fingers with a garden tool, has avoided jail – outraging the woman he tormented.

Stephen Frances Cailes’ former partner has called for the state’s domestic violence laws to be overhauled in the wake of his suspended 16-month prison term.

His case adds to statistics that show the damning lack of success strangulation laws, introduced four years ago, have had.

Just 1.9 per cent of strangulation charges end in conviction, with only 1.5 per cent of those offenders sentenced to immediate prison terms.

On Friday, Cailes’ ex – known as “Ms P” – told The Advertiser that SA Police said she was fortunate to still be alive when she finally escaped him.

Cailes received a suspended 16-month prison term. Picture: Facebook

“I was told I was a high-risk victim of domestic violence with a high possibility of being murdered … that moment and those words I remember so clearly,” she said.

“His sentence was the biggest kick in the guts and such a let-down for myself, my family and other future victims … these pathetic sentences are just letting people get away with it.

“I am so terrified for myself and for the next woman who encounters this monster.”

Cailes, 35, was found guilty at trial of unlawful choking, assault and aggravated threatening to cause harm, and faced a maximum seven-year prison term.

He used violence and threats to controlled Ms P’s social media use, friendships and weight – when he proposed, she agreed as she was “frightened that saying no” would lead to harm.

In April 2021, Cailes suffocated Ms P by pushing her face into their sofa and also choked her on their bed.

He also held the open blades of a pair of garden secateurs against the thumb webbing of her hand and threatened that she would “lose a finger or a toe”.

In sentencing, District Court Judge Emily Telfer said Cailes was a “well-respected and loved” man left with insecurities by the poor treatment of an earlier partner.

“I accept that you do not have a history of violence (or) any of the significant key predictors of ongoing intimate partner violence,” she said.

“I consider that you were naive and inexperienced in relationships and you lacked the emotional skills to negotiate the challenges that you faced.”

Judge Telfer deducted one year and 11 months from Cailes’ sentence to account for time spent in custody on remand and on home detention bail.

On Friday, Ms P said immediate legislative change was needed.

“Domestic violence is a crisis, nothing is improving … the only time a decent sentence is served is when someone is killed – a person who cannot return to the world,” she said.

“I am very fortunate to be alive today and I hope another victim can see my story and have the bravery to make the same decision as I did … we deserve to be safe.

“I am so incredibility proud of myself for taking my power back, standing up against my abuser and rebuilding my life, I hope another victim can do the same.

“Even though we got a guilty verdict, I got the biggest win – which was I got out of that relationship alive.”

Attorney-General Kyam Maher said a review of strangulation laws had exposed a “lack of clarity” about standards of proof and the need for greater victim support.

He said consultation would begin later this year on a draft Bill to amend the laws.