Bochara crash: Joshua Elmes family reveal his plans for the next decade
The distraught family of a teen who died in a horror country road crash say they went to police with concerns over a “dangerous driver” months before their son was killed.
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The parents of 15-year-old Joshua Elmes warned their son not to get in the car with a woman who was reportedly driving dangerously only last year.
Matthew Elmes, 46, and Lee Ann Elmes, 41, told the Herald Sun there had been an incident in 2022 where they had pleaded with Joshua not to get in the woman’s car again, after they believed she was driving dangerously.
“I went to the police about it,” Mr Elmes said.
The Elmes family said they were disillusioned when police officers told them that there was “nothing they could do” without proof.
The couple told of how Joshua’s younger brother Aaron, 12, on Monday found a note he wrote on his laptop detailing what he wanted to achieve in the next decade of his life.
“We found a note of his computer today about his dream that he had written for himself in January stating what he wanted to do in the next 10 years,” Ms Elmes said.
He wished to join the ADF, having spent the past three years as a cadet at Monivae College, buy a farm and get married.
“He wanted to fly fast jets,” she said.
“He said he wanted to get married and have kids, he even put the person he wanted to marry.”
Mr Elmes said that teenagers had been seeking out adrenaline rush activities, including speeding.
“If you want an adrenaline rush, it’s probably better to go to a theme park or go skydiving, but don’t get in a car and seek an adrenaline rush.”
“That’s what has been happening with these kids [from Hamilton],” he said.
“They’re just pushing the boundaries too much; they’re driving too fast just for the adrenaline rush.”
Ms Elmes said that in the wake of the crash that claimed their son’s life, she had not fostered any hatred for what happened.
“I don’t harbour hatred; I don’t harbour any unforgiveness towards anyone that was driving or not driving or what caused them to drive at speed,” she said.
“It’s happened and we can’t bring them back.”
“It’s easy to blame someone, but why?”
She said that they were still coming to terms with the news and the last couple of days had been “surreal” for the entire family.
“A parent’s worst nightmare is losing a child, people say that and warn us that you don’t want your kids doing silly things.”
“But you don’t understand that until it happens to you,” she added.
In a message to those other families who had lost loved ones because of the crash, Mrs Elmes said she was equally “heartbroken.”
“From a mother’s point of view, I understand what they’re going through,” she said.
“I’m heartbroken, I’m literally devastated for them.”
Mr and Mrs Elmes confirmed that another victim of the crash, Alicia Montebello, had worked with Joshua at Coles in Hamilton.
They said that they had previously met Ms Montebello and knew some of the other victims, explaining that they used to hang out together.
“All the families are in the same boat,” Mrs Elmes said.
Mrs Elmes said that she hoped that mental health services, such as Headspace, that had been provided following the crash should remain in town.
“If they [Headspace] could have a base in Hamilton, someone is here when they need support.”
“Everyone will eventually leave and then the town is back to normal, and we are going to have to learn how to deal with that.”
Mr Elmes said Joshua had ADHD and trying to get a diagnosis and help was difficult in Hamilton, opting to travel to Ballarat to seek support.
“I had to take time off work just to drive to Ballarat to try and get a diagnosis because it wasn’t working.”
He said Joshua was prone to making “impulsive decisions” as a result of his diagnosis.
The Elmes have received an outpouring of support and messages from people in town and on social media.
“We are just thankful for the community for all their support, messages on social media, encouraging messages, which has been really good because you don’t always get tat on social media,” Mr Elmes said.
Mrs Elmes has set up a fundraising page online to help support the families and help cover the funeral costs of those lost.
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Originally published as Bochara crash: Joshua Elmes family reveal his plans for the next decade
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