Sarah Coyte uncensored: The inside story on my disordered eating hell

World Cup-winning cricketer Sarah Coyte opens up on how the impacts of an eating disorder led to her loathe sport and how she bounced back.

Sarah Coyte believes body image issues are more common in sport than anyone would care to notice. Picture: Getty Images

When I quit cricket aged 25, I honestly loathed the game and never thought for one second I’d get back to a point where I would actually enjoy playing and training.

I’d won a World Cup for my country, but with where I was at with my eating disorder – I hated cricket – I just wanted nothing to do with it and shut off from it completely.

By 2019 though, two and a half years on, I got to a stage in my life where I had managed to find some balance and I was in a much better frame of mind with my eating, my diet and my training.

There was something lingering in my mind; ‘What if you went back and tried to see how good you are when you are healthy?’

For me there was a stone unturned. I didn’t return seeking to play for Australia again; I went back to cricket to see if I could maintain what I had managed to learn outside the game.

It wasn’t easy.

When I first came back into the professional cricketing environment, I was still vomiting a lot due to my anorexia nervosa condition. The journey was long.

But now, I actually can’t remember the last time I vomited because of my food anxiety or my performance anxiety.

I’m in the best shape physically I’ve been in, and mentally as well.

Sarah Coyte walked away from cricket at the age of 25. Picture: Getty Images

Eating out used to be a real trigger for me because it would throw out my whole routine, but it doesn’t really affect me anymore.

I’ve put mind and body back together and I can now distinguish when I’m hungry versus when I’m bored, when I’m full versus eating just because I feel I have to eat a certain amount of calories.

I’m making better choices when I’m out at dinner – mainly just allowing myself to enjoy food and people’s company. Eating something because I feel like it.

That’s been a huge game changer for me.

When I returned to professional cricket, what took courage was for me to actually speak up and say, ‘I’m not going to weigh myself before and after the game,’ because it can be a trigger.

They let me approach training on my terms, which helped a lot.

It took a very long time to get to this point, but now it’s sort of like the old me again – but better.

Sarah Coyte says she’s in the best shape physically and mentally. Picture: Nikki Davis-Jones

One of the big turning points was learning how to switch off. I never used to be able to sit still. I would always have to be doing something to feel like I was accomplishing something.

I just kept myself going because the more I relaxed, the more I thought my body is just going to shut down on me and will be too hard to get going again.

But about a year ago, I was diagnosed with ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder). I’ve learnt I can relax. One workout is enough.

I am now able to sit down and watch an entire TV program without having to get up and do something else.

I do think there is something about professional sporting environments which does present more challenges for someone suffering with an eating disorder or issues with their body image.

Unless you’re confident in yourself and you’re in a good mindset, you’re only human and it’s natural to compare yourself against other people.

It is a hard environment.

I do believe body image issues are a lot more common in sport than anyone would care to notice.

Sarah Coyte believes body image issues are more common in sport than anyone would care to notice. Picture: Getty Images

Despite all I achieved as an Australian player, I regard taking 100 WBBL wickets to be my greatest feat, because of everything I had to overcome.

My family and my fiancée have been a huge help with it all, but honestly, the biggest influence I had was myself. Because it was only something I could really fix.

I had to make myself more educated about my condition, accept it, try and take control of it – or I was just going to crumble.

If I can be an inspiration for young female athletes out there who are suffering in a similar way that would be the ultimate compliment and makes me feel proud.

I haven’t set out to inspire, but I have wanted to make people aware of my story in the hope it might encourage others to seek help and not be afraid to learn more about themselves.

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Originally published as Sarah Coyte uncensored: The inside story on my disordered eating hell