US pitcher Ryan Chaffee shares his mental health story as Adelaide Giants bid to secure home final
US pitcher Ryan Chaffee has shared his brave mental health journey, as Adelaide Giants bid to secure a home Australian Baseball League final while breaking down barriers in society.
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Ryan Chaffee knew something was wrong the moment he changed from a people-person to a university recluse.
The US pitcher regularly skipped class and put on a brave front to teammates, as he struggled with staggering highs and crushing lows at baseball talent factory Chipola Junior College.
It was the start of a mental health battle that left the Adelaide Giants import questioning his future in professional sport.
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“In college it all came to the surface,” Chaffee, now 31, recalled.
“I was really good at first, but then gradually I started disassociating with people, I started to think too much and started to experience new adversity.
“I didn’t want to go to class because socialising was getting a little weird for me and I got more withdrawn.
“I’m always up and I’m a really happy person, but then when I do go low it’s very long and very bad.
“Internally it was a lot worse, but externally not many people knew that about me.”
Chaffee was diagnosed with manic depression, but spent five years trying to find the right medication which would allow him to function in day-to-day life while thriving on the mound.
Surgery to mend a broken foot soon after being drafted by Major League club LA Angels in 2008 triggered another low, when he was struggling to make ends meet as a rookie.
But it led him on a path of self-education, one he is revisiting as the Giants partner with Breakthrough Mental Health Research Foundation for their last regular-season series from Thursday.
“My highs got really high and my lows got really low,” said Chaffee, of playing for eight Minor League outfits during seven years with the Angels and later Miami Marlins.
“The difficulty was I didn’t have as much ability to communicate with the people around me.
“I didn’t want to talk to teammates because they might see some stuff about me that I didn’t really think was good.
“In baseball everybody has an ego ... so you think showing weakness in any form opens the door to other guys taking your spot.
“I tried to act like the bad ass and like everything was always good, put a fake smile on and act like a cool guy.
“But it’s really detrimental if you’re trying to perform because there’s no release.
“Luckily I took all of that in and I kept learning about everything, not just baseball.”
The right-hander returned to therapy in 2015, but has since been mostly medication free and shining in independent ball across North America.
He said the Giants’ mental health focus, which included donning purple jerseys for Friday’s clash with Geelong-Korea, was helping break down long-held stigmas.
Chaffee was using his lessons to assist his teammates on and off the field, as the Southwest conference leader bid to lock-in a home semi-final during the four-match series at West Beach.
“I still don’t like to just throw it all at them,” said Chaffee, who boasts a 1.37 earned run average from 19.2 innings pitched in his second Adelaide season.
“But I’ve learned a lot about what I was thinking at the time and I can see it in other people when they’re doing it.
“I’ve become very aware of when somebody is not themselves.
“That’s so valuable to me, because now I just want to be of service to others.
“I know when I’m going down a little dark now and I can rebound even faster and sometimes I can catch it before the fact.
“Every guy on this team has a story and everybody has gone through struggles, so why not just make it OK to be more open and aware of everybody else.”
Adelaide (22-14) has already secured a playoff berth for the first time since 2017.
But it needs a 3-1 series triumph to guarantee the Australian Baseball League’s No. 1 seeding and post-season hosting rights.
The Giants will auction off their custom jerseys to fund mental health sessions run by Breakthrough for those affected by the recent Kangaroo Island and Adelaide Hills bushfires.
For more information, visit breakthroughfoundation.org.au