‘The world needs you’: Ian Roberts calls for gay footy players to come out

It’s been 30 years since Ian Roberts bravely came out as a gay on the 1994 Kangaroos tour. Unlike the stitled reception to his news back then, he believes the next male footy player to come out as gay will be lauded as a superstar and an icon.

Ian Roberts was walking around Leeds, holding hands with partner, Shane Goodwin.

As a hulking Australian rugby league player in a gruff footy environment, Roberts knew his open display of homosexuality would prompt discomfort among some teammates.

Roberts was in England on the 1994 Kangaroos tour and had asked Shane to join him.

On the Tuesday after Australia’s first Test loss to Great Britain at London’s Wembley Stadium, Roberts was in his room at the Dragonara Hotel when roommate and Manly teammate Terry Hill answered a call.

It was Bob ‘Bozo’ Fulton, the Australian coach.

Hill pulled a face when Fulton identified himself, fearful Roberts would be dropped for the second Test in Manchester. Roberts was already anxious on that tour, having, for the first time, publicly outed himself as being gay.

Australian players Allan Langer and Kevin Walters made Goodwin feel welcomed but other players weren’t so receptive, and 30 years on Roberts remains the only openly gay male Australian rugby league professional.

It’s the 30th anniversary of Ian Roberts coming out. No one in rugby league, however, has followed him. Picture: Rohan Kelly

“So I get a call and Bozo says: ‘You have to come up and see me straight away’.

“I thought: ‘Shit, I’m getting dropped’. So I caught the lift to the penthouse and his door was just ajar and I could see Bozo pacing the room, rubbing his chin,” Roberts said.

“I knocked and he told me to sit on the bed. He started pacing again so I’m now thinking something serious may have happened back home with a family member. I’m panicking.

“He looked at me and said: ‘You know I don’t care – I don’t mind’.

“I said: ‘Mind what?’ He said: ‘You and Shane’.

“But he then said Shane couldn’t stay in the hotel (partners could not stay in the hotel under team rules) with me because Shane had been popping in for meals like the other partners did. ‘Bozo’ and I had never spoken about any of this stuff.

“I told him: ‘Shane is staying in a B&B up the road.’ Someone had given ‘Bozo’ the wrong information. He yelled: ‘Great, Robbo, that’s all I needed to hear, I knew you wouldn’t let the team down and knew you’d be a stickler for the rules’. He said: ‘Robbo, it’s all good with me’.

“I got up to leave and thanked him for having the conversation. It was the first time I felt validated for being gay and I think ‘Bozo’ realised the gravity of the moment. It felt like I had cast off all this shit and was free of it forever.

“For him to validate my relationship with my partner – It was the moment that defined my football life. I had this real admiration for him. It changed everything for me.”

UNCOMFORTABLE ROOS

Roberts knew Goodwin’s presence would unsettle teammates but he finally wanted to step out of the shadows.

“Shane came over to England for that tour so it was pretty obvious we were together,” Roberts said. “I’m not saying everyone on the tour was comfortable but most of them were fine and respectful.

“I wasn’t going to dye my hair rainbow colours but I had made a choice to live as a gay man. I wanted to be me. It kind of let everyone breathe out and there wasn’t the elephant in the room anymore.

Roberts says Allan Langer and Kevin Walters went out of their way to be accepting on the tour.

“I could tell some were uncomfortable over silly stuff like holding Shane’s hand. We’d walk into the team hotel holding hands. I have to be understanding of other people’s misunderstanding. I don’t blame them. I understood it but there’s been a lot of water under the bridge since then. You have to be open and accepting of other people’s misinterpretations.

“There were two guys on that tour I wanted to wrap – ‘Alf’ (Allan Langer) and ‘Kev’ (Kevin Walters). They embraced Shane and made him feel welcome. They went out of their way to make him feel comfortable. I love you, Kevvie, I love you, Alf.”

Roberts also remembered this tale after a State of Origin game at the SFS in the early 90s.

“It was after a State of Origin game at the old SFS around 1990,” Roberts recalled. “I hadn’t come out at that stage so I got into the shower and one of the players looked at me and then turned away. It registered why. I was like: ‘Don’t flatter yourself, trust me, you’re safe, you’re not going home lucky tonight’.”

Roberts posed for magazines after coming out.

THREE DECADES ON

Roberts believes the next male rugby league player to come out as gay will be lauded as a superstar and an icon.

Now 59, Roberts is celebrating the 30-year anniversary of the Kangaroos tour, but also harbours some sadness that no other rugby league player has followed his bravery.

While admitting gay people had to feel safe to share their sexual orientation, Roberts feels the world needs rugby league’s next gay player to publicly announce his homosexuality.

And Roberts has no doubt there are gay men currently playing in the NRL. Many felt Roberts’ decision in 1994 would set free other NRL players to come out – but none has come forward.

In fact, no professional sportsmen from the NRL, AFL or rugby union have come out over the past 30 years.

“You have to feel safe to do it but if a male was to come out, particularly in a contact sport like rugby league, they’d become an icon,” Roberts said.

“The next male person to come out in the NRL, ARU and AFL will be a superstar. He will be championed. I’m getting goosebumps thinking about it.

“I would say to them: ‘The world needs you right now’. It feels like now is the perfect time – to cast off that cocoon feeling of suppression, where people are judging and looking at you and thinking you’re less. That’s how it felt – it was like: ‘Get me out of here’.

Roberts with former partner Shane Goodwin.

“Men’s sport is at a tipping point, we’re on the cusp. Guys are much more liberal and open in their thinking these days. There wouldn’t be an issue and sponsors would get on board.

“There’s a difference between privacy and a secret, you know what I mean? Everyone is entitled to their privacy but – and I hope I’m not sounding mean – you don’t want it to become a dirty secret, and it can be like that.

“People have asked whether I thought more people might have come out after me but there is still an awkwardness around men’s sexuality. Gay men are seen as having a weakness. Then there’s the whole homoerotic thing happening so it hasn’t surprised me that there wasn’t a flood of people flying out of the closet.

“Are there any gay players in men’s sport around Australia, particularly in rugby league? The statistics, and with what I know, you’d have to say yes, absolutely. I hope someone does (come out) because things do change.

“I came out on the ’94 tour because being gay was the worst-kept secret in rugby league. Everyone knew I was gay. When I went on that 1994 Kangaroo tour, Terry Hill, who was my roommate, knew I was gay. That tour was my first big step towards coming out publicly.”

Isaac Humphries of the 36ers came out in 2022. Picture: Daniel Pockett/Getty Images

Football player Josh Cavallo is publicly out. Picture: @joshua.cavallo

SHOCK THE GAME

Adelaide United A-League player Josh Cavallo came out as gay in October 2021 while then Melbourne United NBA star Isaac Humphries revealed he was openly gay in November, 2022.

Told there must have been a gay rugby league player over the past 30 years, Roberts said: “That’s right. It would be pretty difficult to believe that there’s been no-one else who is same-sex attracted in that period. I think we can all agree on that. It isn’t just rugby league, look at all the major contact sports for men. The AFL, there’s been no-one, the ARU, no-one.

“There have only been two – Josh and Isaac – who have come out. It’s not like there’s been a flood of men, there’s only been two in professional men’s teams sports in Australia in 30 years. That’s not a big number. It can be difficult because the levels of self-harm around the queer community are through-the-roof.

“I don’t feel disappointed (no one has followed him). Everyone’s situation is very different. I was pig-headed and stubborn.”

AWKWARD CONVERSATION

Roberts, an outspoken advocate for sexual tolerance and suicide avoidance, understands why some gay athletes do not come out.

He speaks of the pressure and scrutiny that comes with such a difficult decision and applauds the openness of women’s sport.

“It’s such a personal issue. Look at women’s sport, they are all over this, it’s just not a problem,” he said. “Same-sex attraction in women’s sport is totally accepted. Look at how the Matildas were embraced. But men still don’t feel safe enough to do it. That’s kind of obvious because no-one has come out. It’s still an awkward conversation.

“I was just turning up to the footy with my partner Shane and didn’t think I should have to tell people I was gay – they should just accept it. I didn’t realise until I was a bit older that visibility is a really important thing.

“Physically too, I am bigger than the average bear, so I could always look after myself as well because you do become a bit of a target. That still goes on now.

“One thing that disappointed me was that you can’t protect the people you love. When I used to play footy and people would yell things out, my parents would be in the stands and hear all that stuff. That’s quite intimidating, to know they are experiencing all that, it’s difficult.

“All the NRL, and other major sports, can do is have their inclusion programs and make them as welcoming as possible. In fairness to the league, they do quite a good job. They just have to stay on it, keep poking the bear.”

Footballer Justin Fashanu took his own life after several years of abuse in the press and by fans when he came out as gay.

ENGLISH TRAGEDY

Roberts said he had wanted to reveal his sexuality before 1994 – but was frightened by what unfolded in England.

British footballer Justin Fashanu – who represented Manchester City, West Ham United and England under 21s – was the first professional sportsman to come out as gay while still playing.

“He came out in 1990 – the same year I went from Souths to Manly,” Roberts said.

“I was going to come out that same year but he got brutalised by the English press, retired in 1994 and took his own life in 1998. That’s not an unfamiliar story.”

Goodwin died last year of a heart attack.

“We were still very close until he passed away,” said Roberts, who played 194 NRL games for Souths, Manly and North Queensland between 1986 and 1998.

Originally published as ‘The world needs you’: Ian Roberts calls for gay footy players to come out