NRL Grand Final 2020: How Panthers’ Liam Martin overcame crippling anxiety
Gripped with fear of failure after a rough start to his career, Penrith star Liam Martin reveals he was in a dark place after his NRL dream quickly turned to a nightmare. Now he’s playing in an Grand Final and set for a NSW Origin debut.
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Gripped with anxiety and fear of failure, Penrith back-rower Liam Martin says he was in a “dark place” as his dreams of playing first grade quickly turned into a nightmare.
The build-up of nerves left him crippled by self-doubt to the point he was nearly physically ill just before kick-off in the midst of losing his first five NRL games.
Martin’s first touch in the top grade last year was a sign of what was to come — he dropped the ball in his opening hit-up against Melbourne before the Panthers went on to lose 32-2 in round three.
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Martin maintains Storm skipper Cameron Smith may have played a part in helping the ball come free but still, after all the build-up to fulfilling his childhood dream, the mood soured instantly. Panthers halfback Nathan Cleary tries to console the rookie but he was clearly rattled.
“I didn’t know what to expect taking the carry,” Martin said. “It felt all right until I lost it. I thought it was a strip and then I (thought) surely not. It was a tough initiation. I was grateful to play but it was a tough start to a career.
“I wasn’t used to that intensity. We got flogged. It was my dream to play first grade and I couldn’t believe it.”
Smith offered some kind words at the end of the match, congratulating Martin on his debut. Unfortunately for Martin and the Panthers, his first match was just the start of a rough entry into the top grade.
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Martin lost his opening five games and eventually his spot in the side. His run-on debut against New Zealand in round 10 also produced his worst performance in the top grade.
“I was just sitting there thinking ‘far out, surely this isn’t what it’s like’,” Martin said. “It was a bit of a dark place. Some games I was going out thinking ‘geez I hope I don’t make mistakes or let the team down’. I was getting a bit anxious.
“I’m my harshest critic. I’ll doubt myself a little bit. It was hard. Those first couple of games we were losing and I was thinking ‘was it me? Am I up to this standard?’ I was feeling sick before games. That’s nerves. Sometimes I get to the point thinking if I should try to (vomit)? I’ve never been a vomiter.
“I played a shocker (against the Warriors). I went back and played reserve grade and tried to build on my mental game.”
Coach Ivan Cleary encouraged him to relax and instilled some much-needed belief. A mindset switch led to Martin nailing a starting spot late last year. He is now preparing for a reunion with Smith in Sunday’s grand final and is on the verge of not only becoming a premiership winner, but earning probable NSW selection.
“What has turned around for me is that now I can see how I can make a difference to the team,” Martin said.
“Rather than trying to get through games without letting anyone down.
“I can’t believe (how quickly it has changed). If you’re looking back to where I was last year, I would say you were dreaming if you told me ‘you’d be heading into the grand final’.
“I have no idea what’s happening with the Blues but I would have told you ‘I would be a fringe first grader at best’.
“It’s incredible.”
WELCOME TO THE MOST ‘BIZARRE’ GRAND FINAL BUILD-UP EVER
—Dean Ritchie
Welcome to Showtime, Panthers style.
In one of the most remarkable and unorthodox grand final build-ups you’ll ever see, Penrith players will warm up for the NRL grand final with a basketball game inside the club’s training Academy.
Even one of the club’s own officials described it as “bizarre.”
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And News Corp has the video to prove it.
At 4.30pm on Sunday – just three hours before kick-off in the NRL grand final kick-off – all the big stars will step on court – Nathan Cleary, Stephen Crichton, Brian To’o, Jarome Luai, Viliame Kikau, James Fisher-Harris, Zane Tetevano, Moses Leota and Josh Mansour.
And it will be played to the thumping beat of their favourite music.
News Corp has obtained video of Penrith stars shooting hoops just three hours before the club’s week one finals win over Sydney Roosters and then again just three hours ahead of last weekend’s preliminary final win over South Sydney.
“I’ve never seen anything like it but I love it,” said Panthers head of performance Hayden Knowles.
“You wouldn’t believe these guys are about to go and play a game of rugby league.
“This Sunday, three hours before kick-off, our gym in the Academy will be pumping with energy and blokes playing basketball. When you watch them, you will spin out.
“You couldn’t create the vibe in that room if you tried. It might be bizarre to some – I’ve never seen it before - but it’s become a pre-game ritual. It’s beautiful. I love what they’re doing.”
The basketball ring was bought by Mansour from team fines he collected throughout the season.
Penrith officials have no plan to shut down the unconventional basketball game on grand final day, fearing it might disrupt their pre-game habit. It’s an unusual preparation - but it’s working.
After about 30 minutes of shooting hoops, the players will board their team bus for the 41 km journey to ANZ Stadium.
“Three hours before kick-off, our boys are in the gym playing basketball. At 4.50pm last week, our gym was rocking with music and basketball,” Knowles said.
“It’s unbelievable. The energy in the room … they have the big speaker going with music pumping and they’re all taking shots and occasionally dancing.
“This week, we won’t change anything. It was a spin-out for me but you don’t want it to stop. It organically happened and they just love the energy they’re creating in this room.
“When Jarome Luai, Steve Crichton and Brian To’o walk into the gym with a big Boombox and music pumping, it attracts everyone else to want to be part of it.”
Asked were there any concerns over possible injury or leg-weariness, Knowles said: “Mate, we won’t be changing a thing for the grand final. They get connected doing it as well. If I went to another club and told them to do it three hours before kick-off it wouldn’t work. You can’t create the connections that they have.
“Jimmy Tamou is usually stretching and watching but he loves what he’s seeing. Nathan Cleary pops in, shakes hands and might have one or two shots. Then when we get on the bus, they get this steely-eyed focus when we get there.”
Knowles also spoke up in support of Luai, whose on-field niggling has upset opposition players.
“That’s just him – he’s a beauty, he’s such a competitor,’ Knowles said.
“You should see him on the basketball court – he’s talking trash.
“We do a lot of basketball in our gym. Jarome is in there every day taking on people one-on-one. That’s what he’s like when he’s competing. He is just a ball of energy. I love that kid, he is so good.”
‘It’s all between the ears’
Penrith’s head of performance Hayden Knowles has revealed the importance behind his side’s relaxed mental approach going into Sunday’s grand final by declaring: “We definitely know it’s all between the ears.”
Penrith are strong on the mental side of rugby league with players embracing breathing and visualisation exercises – along with being “attentive and present” - ahead of Sunday’s grand final against Melbourne Storm.
“Some people think the mental stuff is about you sitting around meditating all the time. It’s not that,” Knowles said.
“Sometimes it’s just being so attentive and so present. You can practice being present throughout the day in different areas.
“For some guys, the mental game is spending time studying film. For some guys the mental game is visualisation. We do our group breathing and visualising and that type of stuff.
“We will definitely be encouraging the boys to do what they do. They are very focused and very committed and we definitely know it’s all between the ears.
“We worked really hard last week, we trained hard and that’s been a real feature for us. We will still actually train hard this week.”
Knowles, whose played an incredible behind-the-scenes role in Penrith’s stunning season, revealed how players have scarified this season in their insatiable quest for success.
“You expect that they are totally committed but it’s different for everyone,” Knowles said.
“For some people, sacrifice might be food, for others it might be time, better sleep, not drink beer, it’s all individual.
“You always hear stories about the team that’s not drinking but it’s nothing like that.”
Another who has helped transform Penrith is giant forward, Viliame Kikau, who will return for the grand final from a one-game suspension.
Fresh and focused, Kikau is a beast who will terrorise Melbourne’s defence with his 119-kgs frame.
“Mate, I’d forgotten Kikau wasn’t playing until I saw him at the end of the game. Then I thought: ‘Gee, we’ve got him to come back, what a bonus,” said Panthers great and club deputy chairman, Greg Alexander.
“There aren’t many backrowers like him. He’s big and dangerous with the ball. It’s not just his ability to break a tackle, he can also offload.
“He can pass before the line, drag a defender in and put someone else into space. He is a very clever attacking player, aside from being 119 kgs and six-foot-five.
“We have also seen him catch the ball in the air so he’s a target for Nathan because of his height.
“He also has a knack of coming out of the line and shutting down attacking raids. Not many edge backrowers read it as well as him. He is very good at reading defence.”
Kikau has banked some amazing stats for this season, which include 55 tackle busts, 10 line breaks and 49 one-on-one tackles.
Originally published as NRL Grand Final 2020: How Panthers’ Liam Martin overcame crippling anxiety