Sharks cult hero Toby Rudolf has ‘no real interest’ in finding his father - or becoming one himself

A self-described ‘sperm donor baby’, Toby Rudolf says he isn’t interested in finding or starting a family, with his focus squarely on winning Cronulla’s next premiership.

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Cronulla star Toby Rudolf has revealed why he doesn’t want to be a father — even after he retires from rugby league — saying he’s too selfish to be a parent.

Rudolf also opened up on how he only learnt of his Jewish heritage because of an ex-girlfriend, and how he “couldn’t give a shit” about his biological father.

On the eve of Friday’s preliminary final against Melbourne, Rudolf also spoke openly about being a sperm donor baby, and being bullied as a kid in a housing commission complex.

But he was most candid on the prospect of fatherhood.

“I also saw how my brother and I were to our mum as kids and that looked like f…ing hell,” Rudolf said.

One of the game’s most unique and outspoken characters, Rudolf sat down with Dean Ritchie to delve deep into his past and personality with no filter.

Rudolf has become the beating heart of his Cronulla side.

SPERM DONOR BABY

Rudolf says you have to look at how his life started.

“I’m a sperm donor baby,” he said.

“I didn’t have a fatherly influence in my life that shaped me. My mum (Susan) wanted another child but couldn’t find a partner at the time.

“I have an older brother (Josh) but one child wasn’t enough.

“This was back in ‘90s so she went to the sperm bank and they got me in a test tube and nine months later I was born.”

He has no idea who his dad is, nor does he care.

“The way I describe it… if you ask a kid who was born and raised in the desert if he misses the ocean, what would he say?” he said.

“He would know no different. To this day, I don’t have a desire to find out who my dad is and I don’t feel like part of me is missing.

“Mum was a really good mum, a really good dad and a really good parent.”

Rudolf’s mum told him that only medical students could donate sperm in the 90s.

“So maybe he is some doctor out here, who knows?” he said.

“I did an ancestry DNA test and it turns out he is a full blown European Jewish.

“Mum is German so I have a German passport. So I’m 33 per cent German, 15 per cent Italian, which is one grandparent, and then 50 per cent European Jewish, Ashkenazi Jew.

“Jewish isn’t just a religion, it’s a race of people as well.

“It says on the map, when I look at my ancestry results, that it’s Latvia, Lithuania, in central Europe I think. That is part of the map that is covered.”

He revealed that it was only because of an old flame that he learnt of his full heritage.

“I only did the test because a girl I was seeing at the time actually wanted me to get it done because she was so interested to know what ethnicity I was,” he said.

“So I did it for her but she ended up leaving me anyway so I never got to tell her. Sucked in. Maybe she will find out now by reading this story, who knows?”

Football was always a part of Rudolf’s DNA. Picture: Lorraine Hanna

DAD AND BULLYING

Rudolf insisted he wouldn’t think about his dad, or wonder whether his father was watching on television, should Cronulla play and prevail in the grand final.

“No, I couldn’t give a shit,” he said.

“I would want my mum and brother to be there. You always see those shows where a bloke wants to go meet his dad and how nervous he is to meet him.

“I’m like, ‘No’. I’ve got this far without him and have no real interest in knowing who he is. I’m just happy with how life is.

“There is no feeling of loss, inadequacy or that something is missing. Life is great.”

Rudolf was bullied as a kid for being different, perhaps a reason behind his diverse take on life. Susan also refused to structure strict perimeters around her son’s behaviour or growth.

“Mum has let me be who I wanted to be. If I had a dad it might be like, ‘This is the way it’s meant to be and this is the way society should tell you to be’,” he said.

“Growing up with an older brother, we hated each other, so it was really just me and mum. My brother and I are best friends now. I love him more than anyone.

“I had a street crew of friends in the housing commission at South Maroubra from really different creeds and backgrounds.

“Mum let me be me with no hindrance. She just let me grow into this person and for a lot of people that was hard to deal with. As a young kid, I wasn’t badly bullied.

“But everyone gets bullied when they’re a bit different, which I was.

“But I have never changed, never wavered. My roommate now was part of the bullying group when I was 13 and now we’re best mates. I had a minimal life growing up.

“I only have mum and my brother out there, there aren’t many others. To say I’m different, definitely, that’s fair to say.”

Rudolf has plenty of found family in Cronulla. Picture: Darrian Traynor/Getty Images

FATHERHOOD AND OPENNESS

Honest and forthright, Rudolf admitted he is too selfish to start a family.

“Nah, I don’t think I want kids to be honest,” he said.

“Everyone always says to me that will change but, right now, I can’t see myself having children. I’m too selfish. I want to live my life, see the world and do stuff,” he said.

“Parents are the most selfless people on the planet and I’m not that selfless yet. I want to live my life first and have a red-hot crack at it.

“Right now, you have to be selfish to play this sport. You have to be to get your best performance. After football, I still won’t be ready to give it up.

“I also saw how my brother and I were to our mum as kids and that looked like f…ing hell.

“I look at what friends outside of football are going through with exes, partners and kids. It looks like a drain of energy in life and I don’t want that.

“Maybe the fact I haven’t been surrounded by a relationship in my life, maybe that has something to do with it too. You can be happy without having someone near.”

Sharks management often fear just what the outspoken Rudolf will say when he fronts the Sydney media.

Asked to describe himself, Rudolf said: “That’s a tough question. Friendly, definitely cheeky, saucy is a good one, grateful, family-oriented, a bit stubborn.

“You could add selfish, happy-go-lucky. I love life, I love positive energy. I like feeling good.

“Funnily enough, although we grew up poor, mum always gave me whatever I wanted. So if I don’t get what I want, it can sometimes do my head in.

“That was a struggle growing up.”

Rudolf says his mother has always been his biggest supporter. Picture Instagram

Why?

Why is Rudolf entirely different from every other NRL player.

“Probably my words, I don’t really have a filter. It’s more about how I act,” he said.

“Mum would always tell me as a kid, ‘You’re the superstar of this team, you’re the superstar of your year group.’

“In a funny way, she didn’t teach me humility, even though she was a single mother.

“I took that and ran with it but learned lessons along the way about being humble.

“I remember my under 8s coach would tell me how well I went and I’d say, ‘Yeah, I know I went really well, of course I did, I’m a star.’

“He pulled me aside one day - remembering that I had no dad around to help me with this – and goes: ‘You shouldn’t say I played well. You should say thank you after a game.’

“But I thought everyone knew I was a star.

“I also had a stand out character of an older brother so I had to strive to be different and noticed. Mum always loved me more, we’ve established that.

“But everyone always loved him more. He had everyone else, I had mum, so I had to stand out among my friends and peer group.”

Originally published as Sharks cult hero Toby Rudolf has ‘no real interest’ in finding his father - or becoming one himself