Phil Gould has done it all and it’s time to give him the keys to the game

Phil Gould has never shied away from speaking his mind, but the NRL heavyweight is starting to cause unrest among rival teams.

NRL 2022 RD02 Sydney Roosters v Manly-Warringah Sea Eagles – Phil Gould. Picture: NRL Photos

OPINION

The Canterbury Bulldogs are in the midst of a grievous injury crisis. But if history is any indication, we know exactly how they’ll respond.

It’ll be via Phil Gould launching a multi-platform assault on the NRL because 10 years ago he warned they’d need playing surfaces of plush cotton and nobody listened.

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Gould has been criticised in recent days for constantly ripping the backside out of the governing body, with rival clubs seething over the perceived double standards that allow him to publicly condemn the game whenever his blood sugar drops.

According to a report from The Sydney Morning Herald’s Michael Chammas, a number of unnamed clubs are peeved that while the rest of the competition can be penalised for criticising the NRL, the Bulldogs supremo is permitted to flip the bird without censure.

Whether pounding the league on concussion, slamming the schedule or just proverbially slashing the tyres of referees, at times Gould’s unflinching contempt for rugby league can appear almost Victorian – and sometimes even PeterFitzsimian.

However, season 2023 has seen the newly-svelte 65 year-old take his hypnotic rage to new heights.

The NRL supremo is rattling rival cages. (Photo by Cameron Spencer/Getty Images)

He’s labelled the NRL’s independent doctor policy as “the greatest abomination perpetrated on our game in history” – a pretty cooked comment from someone who’s lived through Super League and Power Balance wristbands – before going nuclear over the Bulldogs five-day turnaround at Good Friday and the Jacob Preston hip-drop imbroglio.

Are the clubs right to be annoyed? Should Phil Gould be muzzled? Or like his bluster attests, he’s actually right 150% of the time?

Maybe it’s time we just succumbed to Gus and let him fix everything.

As a premiership-winning coach who’s rebooted the Panthers and hauled the Bulldogs from their slumber, in addition to serving powerhouse stints with the Roosters and the Blues, there is no man in the game with a deeper wardrobe of free polo shirts.

But most notably, as a Channel 9 pundit with a weekly talk show, a podcast, numerous commentary spots and a rampant Twitter blocking thumb, nobody boasts a stronger monopoly on the media outside of the Kremlin.

He’s never shied away from speaking his mind. (Photo by Mark Kolbe/Getty Images)

Add this to his bristling affection for a spat – as he proclaimed in his recent war of words with Trent Robinson, he fears nobody – and it becomes apparent we’re better off relinquishing control to Gould instead of ending up in trademark exile, i.e. blasted on telly while James Bracey laughs in agreement, and/or shipped off to the Titans on a heavily subsidised contract.

It’s time to allow Gould the power to run rugby league.

Give him carte blanche to fix the ruck, grassroots, childhood obesity, everything. Then let him praise himself on-air for a week for having the modesty and acumen to take his own advice.

After all, this is Australia, a place where Braith Anasta hosts a nightly program where he pumps up his client’s value, where Eddie McGuire can commentate Collingwood matches, and where Dr Chris Brown can host a reality program while passing comment on a pack of reptiles, and the jungle too.

Best of all, it’d keep Gus quiet, at least until he starts “looking tired.”

Originally published as Phil Gould has done it all and it’s time to give him the keys to the game