Opinion: Italians show World Cup minnows how to grab headlines

ONE week in and Rugby League World Cup heavyweights Australia, New Zealand, England and Italy are showing good form. Especially the Italians, writes Mike Colman.

James Tedesco of Italy. Photo: Getty Images

ONE week in and the Rugby League World Cup heavyweights Australia, New Zealand, England and Italy are already showing good form.

Especially the Italians. Sure they were limp as week-old tagliatelle in their opening loss to Ireland in Cairns, but back at the pub that night they were world-beaters.

The side’s biggest name being king-hit by a teammate in a dispute over a girl is exactly the type of action we need from the tournament minnows, because they’re sure not going to get any headlines for their on-field performances.

James Tedesco (left) in on-field action for Italy against Ireland. Photo: Chris Hyde

Which is not to say the RLWC didn’t get off to a promising start. Australia and England put on what is known in the trade as “a dour affair” (and outside the trade as “ho-hum”) but Fiji, New Guinea, Lebanon and Kiwi Lite (or, as they are sometimes called, Tonga) provided plenty of highlights.

Unfortunately that’s about all we’re going to have to cheer about for a few weeks as the competition goes into a hiatus during which the big countries get to beat up the little countries and the critics get to say what a joke it all is.

And that’s where Italy showed the way.

What this World Cup needs is a bit of controversy to keep people awake until we get to the finals.

While of course no-one would ever advocate violence, as long as the combatants, in the words of the late great Rex Mossop, “couldn’t knock a sick girl off a chair”, then where’s the harm?

Certainly James Tedesco didn’t seem any the worse for wear after Shannon Wakeman’s blindside assault. In fact I have it on good authority that the initial reaction from Italian officials was to send the front rower home and “get us someone who can fight”.

Shannon Wakeman. Photo: Getty Images

Happily Tedesco spoke up for his teammate, saying it would be a terrible shame if Wakeman and his girlfriend were to leave the country when he was just getting to know them. Team officials have relented, on the condition that Wakeman spend the rest of the tournament somewhere he won’t attract any media attention — the Italian forward pack.

Now it is up to some of the other second tier teams to step up to the plate and give us something to talk about.

They won’t have to look far for ideas. World Cups of all sporting codes have a rich history of off-field shenanigans.

In cricket, the 2003 tournament in South Africa takes the cake, with host nation board and later International Cricket Council president Percy Sonn imbibing so heavily at one match that in his own words, “I’m so ****ing drunk that I don’t know where I ****ing am.” A witness said Sonn “literally fell out of his pants”.

Percy Sonn. Photo: David Kapernick

Sadly Shane Warne didn’t get to join the fun. He was sent home for failing a drug test before the tournament even started after self-medicating to treat a chronic case of double chin.

At least Diego Maradona got to play two matches at the 1994 FIFA World Cup in the US before he too was sent packing after failing a drug test. Results showed five variants of ephedrine, although history would show he could have done with some of Warnie’s weight-loss gear as well.

And then there was Rugby World Cup 2011, and the England team embroiled in a drunken dwarf-throwing controversy as their captain, the Queen’s grandson-in-law Mike Tindall, was spotted chatting to a young lady at the bar. Her Majesty, and the team’s supporters, were not amused.

All of which should give the likes of France, USA, Wales and Scotland plenty of inspiration as they find something to do with their time over the next few weeks.

Because they’re obviously not here to play football.

Originally published as Opinion: Italians show World Cup minnows how to grab headlines