EPL Late Tackle: Manchester United spending must top $1 billion to regain past glories

MANCHESTER United are in the biggest mess they’ve been in since the beginning of the Premier League and there’s only one way out.

Manchester United's Dutch manager Louis van Gaal arrives for the English Premier League football match between Stoke City and Manchester United at the Britannia Stadium in Stoke-on-Trent, central England on December 26, 2015. AFP PHOTO / PAUL ELLIS RESTRICTED TO EDITORIAL USE. No use with unauthorized audio, video, data, fixture lists, club/league logos or 'live' services. Online in-match use limited to 75 images, no video emulation. No use in betting, games or single club/league/player publications..

MANCHESTER United are in the biggest mess they’ve been in since the beginning of the Premier League and there’s only one way out.

Money.

And having already spent more than $500 million in an attempt to right the wrongs of the failed David Moyes experiment, the club’s American owners must now know that the Theatre of Dreams is not the guaranteed cash cow it was a few years ago.

Where are United at now? Let’s look at the stats (courtesy of @OptaJoe):

After the 2-0 defeat to Stoke, United have lost four competitive matches in a row within a single season for the first time since October-November 1961.

Manchester United have conceded two or more goals in three consecutive PL games for the first time since September 2010.

And Manchester United have averaged just 1.29 goals per game in the league this season; their lowest average since 1989-90 (1.21).

Without Sir Alex Ferguson’s aura propelling quite good players to glorious achievements, United have crashed back to earth. Titles are no longer guaranteed, and even Champions League football looks a stretch.

The squad still boasts plenty of talent but Louis van Gaal seems unable to inspire his players. The Dutchman’s soporific possession-based tactics are completely at odds with the club’s attacking traditions — United top the EPL possession stats but are 16th when it comes to shots per game (lower than Norwich).

United's $60m, two-goal midfielder Memphis Depay arrives at training in his Rolls-Royce...

This squad is undeniably Van Gaal’s but only Anthony Martial, the $73m teenager, has shown anything like the form expected, and even then only in flashes. The much-hyped Memphis Depay appears to be an utter fraud, all Hollywood attitude and no end product — unless you count the horrible defensive header that gifted Stoke their opening goal. Wayne Rooney, the captain Van Gaal refuses to drop, looks utterly shot — his minutes per goal ratio (one every 570) is more than double that of any of his previous 13 EPL seasons.

The Stoke defeat left Van Gaal on the brink, with the clash with Chelsea looking like a decisive fixture. Lose to the shambling champions and he’ll be gone, to be replaced, it seems, by Jose Mourinho, a man the United hierarchy still harbour plenty of concerns about.

Only as recently as the start of December, United were so happy with Van Gaal they were reportedly willing to extend his contract — just a few weeks later they are on the verge of paying out his $12m contract. And that’s just the start.

First they’ll have to pay to sign the new coach, although reports suggest that Mourinho would have to accept a similar wage at Old Trafford, almost half what he was earning at Chelsea.

And while Mourinho’s record of near-instant success appears to make him the perfect choice for an increasingly desperate Old Trafford, his divisive personality and poor track record of bringing young talent through the ranks is at odds with the club’s philosophies and traditions.

Is Jose Mourinho on the phone to Manchester United’s owners?

But what choice do they have? Pep Guardiola is the only other manager who matches the club’s aspirations but a bewildering lack of interest at Old Trafford looks to be sending the era-defining Spaniard into the arms of rivals Manchester City.

And then there’s the rebuilding of the squad, the third such operation since Ferguson retired, which has already cost a total of $650m.

How much more to get United back to the top of the Premier League? At the very least, the squad needs an experienced centreback, a defensive midfielder with better legs than the classy but faltering Bastian Schweinsteiger, and one, if not two, world-class strikers. And there aren’t many of those about these days — not for less than $100m a piece.

All of which means United could end up spending upwards of $1 billion in just three seasons an attempt to regain past glories, in an ultra-competitive Premier League environment in which success is never guaranteed.

After the fantasy football that was the Ferguson era, it’s time for the Theatre of Dreams to wake up.

HIGHLIGHT

Southampton maintained this season’s narrative of unpredictability with their stunning 4-0 thumping of form side Arsenal. The Gunners should still be considered favourites for the title but this result shows how hard they will have to work for it. And what about Cuco Martina’s swerving outside-of-the-boot strike on his Premier League debut? Woof!

LOWLIGHT

Christian Benteke’s ridiculous miss at the end of Liverpool’s victory over Leicester. With the goalkeeper out of his area and the goal at his mercy in front of the Kop, Benteke completely butchered it. Whether indecision, inability or low confidence, the Kop demands better.

Spurs midfielder Dele Alli, 19, is proving his reputation as one of England’s best young players.

HOT SPURS

Up to fourth, Tottenham look well set to seal a Champions League place for just the third time. Striker Harry Kane has scored 10 goals in his last nine Premier League appearances, while teenage midfielder Dele Alli has scored or assisted five goals in his last five (two goals, three assists).

BUILDING BRIDGES

Chelsea’s draw with Watford showed interim coach Guus Hiddink that there is still plenty of work to be done to restore the champions. But at least some of the fight that has disappeared under Jose Mourinho was still present.

Originally published as EPL Late Tackle: Manchester United spending must top $1 billion to regain past glories