Football world pile on Newcastle United after Aussie humiliation

Football fans around the world — including the world’s worst team — have torn Newcastle United to shreds for their Aussie farce.

Lucas De Bolle of Newcastle United FC after the loss. Photo by Quinn Rooney/Getty Images

The football world have absolutely roasted EPL giants Newcastle United after they were utterly humiliated 8-0 by the A-League Men’s All-Stars on Friday night.

Yes, that’s right — the best of the rest of the A-League annihilated the team that just finished seventh in the English Premier League 8-0 for their first ever win in the concept.

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To put it in perspective, the club’s worst loss in their history was a 9-0 loss to Burton Wanderers on April 15 1895, three years after the club was founded.

Sure, it wasn’t anywhere near Newcastle’s A-team — the average age of the starting line up, excluding 32-year-old fourth string goalie Mark Gillespie, was 19.5 with Kieran Trippier the only first team player in the squad.

However, Trippier, who was a vocal critic of the brief tour to Australia, stayed on the bench.

The Magpies were also missing multiple mainstays from their side such as Alexander Isak, Bruno Guimaraes, Miguel Almiron, Fabian Schar, Sean Longstaff, Anthony Gordon, Martin Dubravka and Dan Burn.

Newcastle coach Eddie Howe had expressed his lack of enthusiasm during the week about making the long trip down to Australia so soon after the end of the EPL season.

Even Tottenham’s Aussie manager Ange Postecoglou also pointed out how bizarre it was to be playing a friendly in Australia. three days after the end of the EPL season.

And Tottenham only played one match — a penalty shootout loss to Newcastle on Wednesday night.

But with an essentially under-21s squad on the pitch, the A-League All Stars utterly humiliated the EPL heavyweights.

The faces say it all. Photo by Quinn Rooney/Getty Images

The All-Stars took full advantage and wrapped up the contest in little over half an hour after needing less than five minutes to open the scoring when Wellington star Ben Old rammed it home from 12 yards out at the back post.

Goals to Nicolas Milanovic and A-League golden boot winner Adam Taggart made it 3-0 at halftime before adding five more in the second half, it turned into little more than a training run for the All Stars.

Although fans who turned out to Marvel Stadium did get to see a much more competitive 1-0 win for the Arsenal women’s team featuring Matildas Caitlin Foord, Steph Catley and Kyra Cooney-Cross over the A-League Women’s All-Stars, the earlier match left a bad taste in the mouth.

With tickets costing between $59 and up to $700, fans were rightfully fuming when turning up to see an EPL side in action.

And the world were lining up to take their shots.

The unofficial X account of the world’s worst international team, the 210th ranked San Marino — who have a record of 203 matches, one win, nine draws and 193 losses — replied to Newcastle’s tweet of the final scoreline: “We want to play against you. We have similar levels.”

We want to play against you. We have similar levels 🙏 🇸🇲

— San Marino Fútbol 🇸🇲 (@SanMarinoTeam) May 24, 2024

But it wasn’t all fun and games.

FBTL columnist Adrian Deans slammed Newcastle’s brief Australian tour in an article titled: “EPL cash-grab by Newcastle United is a disgrace. The A-League deserves better,” which tells you all you need to know.

He said the A-League All-Stars concept was “dead and buried if famous teams from Europe are so cynical as to travel to Australia for several million dollars and then put out their no-name kids to get thrashed by adult professionals”.

He also called it “an absolute insult to the fans who travelled from all over Australia and New Zealand to see their heroes, and paid top dollar for the privilege.

“Who on Earth will ever pay that again after such a shambolic performance by a bunch of nobodies?”

The A-League All Star celebrations weren’t even that wild. Pic: Michael Klein

Football broadcaster Jason Pembroke wrote Newcastle’s “hierarchy said to be ‘mildly embarrassed’ at 8-0 defeat on Australia, ‘especially in our green kit’.”

Freelance writer Kristian Bouboukis posted: “Newcastle United should be embarrassed turning up to the match against the A-League Men All Stars with their reserve team. It shows a lack of respect for their opponents and our league as a whole. At least the fixture between Arsenal and the ALW team was much more competitive.”

One fan said: “Would be understandable if fans in attendance are disappointed mind, given they’ve paid for their tickets and there’s not a single first team player in the runout XI.”

Another fan commented: “A league allstars, the players who didn’t make the playoffs ie bottom half of the league beat Newcastle United of the billionaires premier league 8-0. Maybe your EPL is a tad overrated.”

Another added: “What’s the point in going to Australia to put an u21s side out.”

“Imagine travelling 10,485 miles for no reason just to get thrashed 8-0,” another said.

Plenty of people were left asking for refunds.

Newcastle United's head coach Eddie Howe. Photo by Martin KEEP / AFP

Post-match, Howe defended the performance of his young side, despite how thoroughly they were dispatched.

“It was always going to be difficult. It was really good for the young lads to go through that today,” he added.

“I think you could see the difference between the All Stars and they played very well against the inexperience of some of our players.

“The biggest difference was physically in the last part of the game where they could bring substitutions on. They look good and stronger for it and we tailed off quite badly. There’s a lot of individual growth there from that game.”

The tour was panned essentially from the outset with Newcastle club legend and former England captain Alan Shearer blasting the move.

“Can you imagine if you’re a player who is playing in either the Copa America or Euro 2024 having to do that? Madness. Crazy,” Shearer said on the BBC’s Match of the Day highlights show.

The Euros start June 15 (Australian time) with some friendlies in the lead up, while Copa America kicks off June 21 (AU time).

Originally published as Football world pile on Newcastle United after Aussie humiliation