Mark Robinson: Trent Cotchin book reveals he couldn’t accept Damien Hardwick’s challenges

Trent Cotchin built his leadership credentials on embracing imperfection but, Mark Robinson asks, why was he unable to embrace the challenges of his coach Damien Hardwick?

Richmond coach Damien Hardwick with his captain Trent Cotchin and their cup. AFL – Sunday, 25th October, 2020 – Richmond players the afternoon after the historic Grand Final Win – at their Hub location in the Gold Coast. Picture: Sarah Reed

It was the imperfection Trent Cotchin couldn’t embrace.

It wasn’t his hardship, it was that of his coach Damien Hardwick and Hardwick’s marriage break-up.

Cotchin’s astonishing revelations about the impact of Hardwick splitting with his wife Danielle and moving on with Tigers staffer Alexandra Crow offers an insight into the bubble which some AFL players live in.

The three-time premiership skipper would have us believe that Hardwick’s decision to end his marriage wounded the Richmond dynasty.

Not the fact the great Richmond team in 2021 was nearing the end of its powerful run of premierships, and nor the fact that the players were getting older, and injured, and retirements were common.

READ MORE: TRENT COTCHIN ON THE FALLOUT FROM THE HARDWICKS’ MARRIAGE BREAKDOWN

Trent Cotchin and Damian Hardwick pictured in 2022. Picture: Robert Cianflone/Getty Images

No, the marriage break up.

Here’s a revelation: Life is not a fairytale. People split all the time. And it hurts.

In a candid extract from his autobiography, From The Heart, Cotchin said Hardwick’s new relationship caused a divide between the coach and sections of the football club, which has now caused a headache for the footy club.

“Was it a distraction for the group? In my view, at times it was,’’ Cotchin wrote.

“Did it impact my relationship with Dimma? I would say yes, at that point, 100 per cent.”

“I still loved Dimma and still respected him as a coach … but I am not sure my relationship with him ever got back to the level it had been before.

“For whatever reason, there always seemed to be a bit of a barrier between us. Maybe it wasn’t just the captain and the coach; maybe it was emblematic of the group’s connection that season.’’

Richmond people were surprised with Cotchin’s writings.

That he would open personal wounds for those involved in a book has mystified them, not so much for the former coach but for Danielle.

That said, Cotchin was captain, the team’s moral compass and he had every right to feel like he did and write what he wrote.

In retirement, it would seem Cotchin is as authentic an author as much as he was as captain.

One problem: Has he forgotten about embracing imperfections?

Trent Cotchin and Damian Hardwick pictured in 2012. Picture: AAP Image/Julian Smith

They were his buzz words as he transitioned from under siege captain to leadership giant and they were a cornerstone of Richmond’s “connection’’.

In 2017, after winning their first of three premierships, Cotchin was asked the lessons he learned throughout the season.

He said: “There’s none bigger than just taking off your armour and being imperfect, because we all are. And then embracing those imperfections and the vulnerability, connections, relationships.’’

Asked what would be the next part of the journey, he said: “The challenge will be to show up to the world, as we have done this year, full of our imperfections, our struggles, but also just knowing that we’re worthy of being here, and getting to work together.”

Cotchin’s leadership mentor Ben Crowe, who Cotchin said ‘’literally saved my life’’, also drilled imperfections into the Cotchin narrative.

In September, 2020, Crowe said in an interview with the Australian Financial Review that trying to achieve perfection was “bulls**t”.

“It’s this external manifestation that can never be achieved, because it’s not real, it can never exist. It’s bulls**t … you can’t achieve perfection,’’ Crowe said.

‘The antidote to the perfect myth is celebrating imperfections … it’s those imperfections that connect humans the most.’’

Imperfections. Vulnerability. Connections. Struggles.

They are words which Cotchin built his leadership around, but words he couldn’t grasp when it came to the challenges for his long-time coach.

Originally published as Mark Robinson: Trent Cotchin book reveals he couldn’t accept Damien Hardwick’s challenges