High profile incidents featuring cricketer James Faulkner and rugby union’s Israel Folau have changed how we tackle this issue

The most common insult/sledge I received when I was playing footy was to be called “gay”, Graham Cornes writes. As James Faulkner sent us in a tailspin this week, maybe it’s time to see sports stars as what they are — people.

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The most common insult/sledge I received when I was playing footy was to be called a “poofter”.

It happened in most games, occasionally delivered by opposition players, although mostly they were respectful - unless of course, tempers really flared.

Always, however, when you ventured anywhere near the opposition cheer squads or slid over the boundary line towards the fence, the opposition fans, faces contorted with venom, would enlighten you of your sexuality.

Occasionally it happened in the street or from a passing car but never obvious enough that you could have a “discussion” about abusive misconceptions.

Glenelg’s Graham Cornes (c) unveiling the Tigers colours on the West End brewery chimney in 1973.

Graham Cornes working the Ford showroom in 1973.

It never really bothered me; it was just a by-product of the privilege of playing league footy. It never really bothered me – until the editor of the Football Budget, the SANFL’s official football magazine, rang me and, in what I thought was an official interview, asked if I would like to comment on the rumours that I was gay! Then I was offended.

When I tell this story to my daughters, they see it totally differently.

“Well what’s wrong with someone thinking you’re gay?” said the eldest.

“Yeah”, say the other two, nodding in agreement. “What’s wrong with that?”

Such is the re-education of a whole generation of young Australians that you wouldn’t dare sledge a footballer based on his or her sexuality.

Increasingly, you wouldn’t even think to. Similarly you wouldn’t dare vilify a player on the basis of race.

It’s still a little unclear though whether, apart from the harshness of the word and its implication, using the “P” word to abuse an opponent these days, is actually an insult.

My daughter hasn’t been able to answer that one!

Aussie cricketer, James Faulkner, sent the social media world into meltdown when he posted a photo with his Mum and his “boyfriend” (best friend) on Instagram.

“The first Australian cricketer to come out and declare he is gay” was the knee-jerk reaction from some of the lazier media sources.

Alas, it was not true – just a passing remark made in jest. Weren’t we all just a little disappointed when he clarified the post?

Cue then the faux indignation.

“Gay people are not a punchline”, screamed one headline. Then Jason Ball, the first openly gay Aussie Rules player waded in: “James Faulkner making a joke about being in a same-sex relationship may seem like a bit of fun to him and his team-mates but the reality is that for thousands of young people struggling to come to terms with their sexuality, coming out is one of the hardest things they’ll ever do and this makes a mockery of that struggle”, he wrote. Chill out Jason.

No one doubts the struggle that Jason Ball had to conceal his true sexuality in a predominantly macho environment and only he knows the pain and anxiety, yet his declaration seems to have been met with universal acceptance of his courage.

Hard it may have been initially but he must be buoyed by the reaction. He faced no apparent ostracism either in football or in the public eye.

Similarly, few cast aspersions on the number of AFLW players in same-sex relationships. Are we stopping our daughters playing football because of a predominance of gay players?

Don’t think so.

The biggest issue and deterrent there, is the risk of injury. That’s of far more concern than whether some of their team-mates are gay or not.

In the wake of rugby union champion Israel Folau’s indiscreet post condemning “homosexuals” (and others) to eternal damnation, Faulkner has painted a bulls-eye on his own forehead and there are plenty lining up to take a shot.

However, his quip should have none of the same consequences. Folau’s post was devoid of humour. Worse, it was lacking in compassion, which you would hope is a vital attribute of one so pious.

Broadcaster Alan Jones wrote passionately in Folau’s defence about his right to freedom of speech and yes, it is bemusing that he can be in so much trouble for quoting a Biblical text, but it was a nasty thing to post on a public forum.

Nobody laughed. We just wondered why. Still, he deserves censure, not sacking.

Faulkner in apologising (unnecessarily) for his post was very complimentary of the support he had received from the LGBTQI community.

How much better is that reaction compared to the belligerent attacks of some who are still weighed down by a persecution complex.

Maybe Faulkner was joking; maybe he was naively and inadvertently using the term “boyfriend” in the same manner women talk about their girlfriend; or perhaps there really was an underlying mischief in his intent. But does it really matter?

A little humour can always diffuse a difficult situation and it’s always more endearing when you can see the joke and laugh at yourself.

And still the world waits with bated breath for an Australian cricketer to come out and declare he is gay.