Collingwood great Dane Swan steals show in Hall of Fame night
On a night usually filled with pomp and ceremony, Dane Swan’s expletive filled performance on stage completely stole the show.
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Dane Swan has absolutely dominated the AFL Hall of Fame ceremony on Tuesday night as he was inducted into the exclusive club.
The 40-year-old is a premiership winner and a Brownlow medallist and a worthy entrant to the Hall of Fame.
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But his footy exploits were briefly overshadowed by one of the great performances probably ever seen at an awards night.
Normally a staid, respectful affair, the annual ceremony was completely flipped on its head by the straight shooting former Collingwood midfielder.
After Swan’s speech, co-host Gerard Whateley could only utter “bit of work to be done in editing the replay I’m sure” as the room applauded the Magpies great from the stage.
It all began with Swan detailing his reaction when the AFL came calling about Tuesday’s honour.
“I s**t myself to be honest,” Swan began.
“A number I didn’t know called and I don’t answer numbers I don’t know because they’re usually not good news.
“He texted me and said it’s (AFL Commission chairman) Richard Goyder from the AFL and I said ‘what’ve I done?’
“I didn’t ring him back, I rang my manager (Liam Pickering) straight away and asked ‘why have the AFL rung me?’
“It was nice of Pickers to have some faith in me, he was like ‘I’ve got no idea but if you were in real deep s**t (Goyder) wouldn’t have been calling you so I think you’re all right’.
“I called him back and this (Hall of Fame induction) was it, it was the nicest call I’ve ever had from the AFL, that’s for sure.”
While Swan turned himself into a brilliant, ball-winning midfielder, he acknowledges he wasn’t overly committed to the cause as he was making his way in the sport.
He credited his father Billy Swan, a decorated VFA footballer in his own right, as being his biggest influence and recalled a story from when he was playing junior footy.
“I was a s**thead as a young kid,” he said. “Dad was never one to rant or rave. He let the coaches coach.
“But one day, I probably wasn’t the most ferocious footballer, I was pretty lazy and dad was yelling at me.
“I’d had enough of it so I decided to sit down, cross my legs, stick my fingers in my ears for a couple of minutes while the game was going on around me.
“That’s the kind of stupid mentality I had, but that’s how I was as a kid unfortunately.”
A five-time All Australian and three-time best and fairest over 258 games at Collingwood, Swan was also renowned for his indiscretions away from the footy field.
In a successful era for the club, Swan was a member of a group of players infamously known as the “Rat Pack”, which also featured Heath Shaw, Ben Johnson and Chris Tarrant, who were all at the ceremony.
Early in his career, Swan was convicted of affray and later sued for his part in a vicious brawl, while he also had a number of other run-ins with the Collingwood and AFL hierarchy over the years.
Whateley asked him when he realised he had to change his ways to make a success of his footy career.
“Yeah, when I got arrested,” he fired back. “That was fun.
“I got drafted and moved straight out of home, moved in with my mate who’s here tonight.
“I thought playing AFL was all getting drink cards on Saturday night. I gave no effort, well I gave a lot of effort, it was all on Saturday nights.
“I didn’t deserve to be on an AFL list. Then I got in a blue and got in trouble and thought I was going to be sacked.
“Dad sat me down and said ‘don’t continue to be on the list if you don’t want to be, if you think it’s what we want you to do’.
“(Coach) Mick (Malthouse) said ‘prove to me you belong here’ and I started repaying some of the faith.
“It didn’t put me on the right path, it put me on a righter path.
“I’ve got no idea why they kept me. I was like a cockroach, they couldn’t kill me.
“My old man said I got better every year, got more games, got more confident.
“Mick threw me in the midfield and away we went.”
Swan went on to quip that he “has to say” his three children are the best things in his life, before going on to thank his mates in the Rat Pack.
“Those three or four years when you’re with your best mates, the Rat Pack, who are here today, it felt like it went for six months,” he said.
“Biggest club in the country, I was playing OK, we played hard, we partied hard, we had a great time. We barely lost.
“I cherish those memories.”
Swan was a key part of Collingwood’s 2010 premiership, when the Pies fought out a draw with St Kilda before winning the replay by 56 points the following week.
He particularly enjoys the annual reunion of that flag, which takes place on the first Saturday in December, and he had the crowd in stitches with a subtle comment about how long the celebrations can last.
“Same jokes get told, same people get picked on, you leave that lunch a day or two later and think how lucky am I to win a premiership,” he said with a grin.
“If the ball bounces the other way and St Kilda win it, we’re part of the ‘Colliwobbles’ I guess.”
Pick 58 in the 2001 draft, Swan couldn’t resist a dig at the Magpies, stating: “Collingwood, I know I’m not in your Hall of Fame, so I know you don’t rate me as highly as the AFL.
“But they know I can be bribed and bought pretty easily so they bought a table for my mates tonight so we’re square.”
Pickering was also in the firing line, with Swan saying: “Thank you for sticking with me for 20 years and all the controversy, then I thought about it and I’ve actually stuck with you for all the ups and downs that you’ve had.
“The five or six management companies, the court cases, and you’re still taking a clip off me so I reckon we’re square.”
And he signed off with one last classic line when thanking his partner Taylor Wilson.
“I’m not a cunning linguist,” he said to the packed house at the Centrepiece venue in Melbourne Park.
“Lucky I got that out, that could’ve been dangerous.
“Without you I don’t know where I’d be. I love you so, so much.
“Please remember these kind words when I’m refusing to come to bed in about 10 hours and I won’t kick anyone out of the afterparty.”
Jason Dunstall was elevated to legend status at the awards, while Michael Graham, Chris McDermott, Ralph Robertson, Ray Schofield and Kelvin Templeton joined Swan in the Hall of Fame.
Originally published as Collingwood great Dane Swan steals show in Hall of Fame night
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