What is it that makes people behave so badly overseas?
There’s something deeply unique about Aussies that makes us lose all sense of decency and respect for laws as soon as we touch down in another land. Just look at Nicholas Carr, writes David Penberthy.
A few years ago former foreign minister Alexander Downer wrote what I regard as one of the best columns I have ever read in an Australian newspaper.
It was a brilliant piece of writing in that it was crafted in the bluntest everyday language by someone who had only just departed the euphemistic and evasive world of pollie-waffle.
It also read like a Peter Finch “mad as hell” moment, as if Downer was venting years of pent-up irritation, his lips having been sealed on account of the diplomatic requirements of his 12-year ministerial role.
The impetus for Downer’s rant was the case of the so-called “Beer Mat Mum”, a Melbourne woman who landed in strife with Thai police after stealing a beer mat from a Phuket pub.
Beer Mat Mum followed the time-honoured tradition of those Aussies abroad who think different rules apply when they’re overseas, and act in accordance with a three point rule: get drunk, do something idiotic, request government assistance.
RELATED: Aussie tourist’s Bali rampage caught on film
“After about 10 minutes as foreign minister I was a little surprised to learn I was “responsible” for miscreant Australians who got into trouble in foreign countries,” Downer wrote.
“No, no, no, don’t get it wrong — drug traffickers, drunks, kleptomaniacs and fraudsters weren’t responsible for their own stupidity — I was.
“It’s about time that great nanny in Canberra, the federal government, turned around and told people they are responsible for their own decisions.”
The Beer Mat Mum — let’s not name her again, she suffered enough at the time — was in a behavioural sense an absolute paragon of discipline compared to the latest halfwit to hit the headlines on holiday.
Nicholas Carr, 26, from the South Australian Riverland, has landed himself in a top-shelf pickle after achieving world’s best practice in the field of drunken idiocy in Bali last weekend.
You have probably seen the footage — which is extraordinary — of this bloke karate-kicking an innocent Balinese man off his moped, leaving the guy skidding across the road at high speed. How the rider didn’t wind up critically injured or even dead is anyone’s guess.
RELATED: Nicholas Carr claims he has no memory of his crime binge in Bali
In addition to that party trick, Carr is also accused of breaking into a man’s home and assaulting him, and smashing the windows of a minimart and restaurant.
His defence is a simple one. He says he was really drunk and can’t remember any of it.
“We drank vodka in our hotel room before we went out, then drank cocktails and drank more vodka after that. I have drunk until I have blacked out but I have never done this before, ever. I can’t really remember most of it. I don’t have a recollection of it.
“I just want to see my family.”
The funniest line in the initial news report on Carr’s predicament is this one:
Carr, who was visiting Bali with a friend, was worried about facing criminal charges.
Jeez, criminal charges? Surely not!
In qualified fairness to Carr, he has two points going in his favour — the first is that he has apologised, the second is that he wants to compensate his victims.
But having said that, his pollyanna surprise at being unable to see his family — on account of his own actions — and his laughably naive fear of being charged go to the very points Downer was making in his excellent article.
RELATED: Nicholas Carr apologises for drunken rampage in Bali, offers compensation to victims
What is it that makes people land in another country and start behaving in a fashion they would never even consider in Brisbane, Hobart, any other part of Australia?
Clearly, Australians don’t have a monopoly on boorish behaviour abroad. I have seen Americans doing no favours to their national reputation in Cancún, and a fair few Germans, Russians and Brits sleazing their way through the seamier parts of Bangkok, along with the Aussies, embarrassingly, unable to score a date back home and preying instead on the young and vulnerable in South-East Asia.
But there is undoubtedly a hard core of dopey Aussies who have taken the old cricket maxim — what happens on tour stays on tour — and turned it into a life philosophy. Even when what happens on tour is clearly and demonstrably illegal in their host nation.
There is a weird double standard at play here. That great bogan uprising known as the Cronulla riots had at its centre the slogan “Fit in or f*** off”.
It’s a coarsely-worded clarion call for assimilation in the multicultural space. It’s also a bit rich though that we can wax so indignantly about others coming here and failing to follow our customs and laws, yet rock up in Indonesia, a country that has no drinking culture whatsoever, and an ingrained intolerance for embarrassing behaviour, and have 20 vodkas and make violent, dangerous geese of ourselves.
And then, of course, when the you-know-what hits the fan, turn around and ring DFAT for consular assistance, to see if they can help get you out of the relevant scrape.
Let’s give the last word to Downer.
“There are no special laws for Australians overseas,” he wrote. “Foreigners make the laws over there, not us,”
“If you’re too dumb or idle to read the travel advisories and too mean to take out travel insurance when you go overseas then you ought to take responsibility for your own behaviour.
“Sure, if there’s a catastrophe like the Bali bombings or you’re trapped in a corruption scam the government should try to help. But not if you’re too lazy and silly to help yourself.”