Tory Shepherd: If only there was a vaccine for stupid conspiracy theories
It will be a global catastrophe if a coronavirus vaccine comes out and a combination of slackness, lack of access and anti-vaxxers’ lies mean the coverage fails, writes Tory Shepherd.
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You know, once someone believes that aliens killed JFK on the orders of the One World Government who then went on to create chemtrail pizzas made with 5G that gave children autism, it’s really hard to dissuade them.
And if they are also QAnon believers, who think the “Illuminati” exposed the Clinton emails as a false flag to help uncover the fact that a COVID-19 vaccine already exists, they’re stuffed.
Conspiracy theories are sprouting in the wake of COVID-19 in the same way they did after September 11.
In times of fear and anxiety, when answers are in short supply, some find comfort in believing there is a simple explanation.
In the current case, that “explanation” might be that coronavirus was created as a way to force mass vaccinations on the world, or that 5G was behind it, or Microsoft founder Bill Gates. These explanations are more palatable to some than a long, complicated story of the evolution of zoonotic (animal-to-human) viruses.
So a grab bag of conspiracy theorists, from the far-right to the paranoid to the anti-vaxxers, have organised the “freedom” protests in the US, and the US-lite versions that Melbourne has seen. The signs held aloft at these shindigs cover everything from the Illuminati to Satan.
There’s a lot to worry about there, but it’s the anti-vaxxers who are the most insidious problem, because their purpose is to undermine any future vaccine, just as the world’s experts are desperately trying to find one.
While it may feel as though Australia is creeping back to “normality”, the truth is there is a long way to go before we can hug our mates and jet off to Bali. That kind of “normal” needs a vaccine. And it needs a lot of people to take it.
In Australia, adults are pretty slack about yearly vaccinations – only about half get both the flu and pneumonia jabs. It’ll be a global catastrophe if a coronavirus vaccine comes out and a combination of slackness, lack of access, and the lies of the anti-vaxxers mean the coverage fails.
So how does one undo a conspiracy theory? If only it were as easy as pointing people toward science and truth. Unfortunately, once the tinfoil hat is firmly fixed on the head of the believer, it warps all realities. Any evidence contradicting the theory is just proof of a large-scale cover-up. Any expert picking apart the logical flaws in the theory is just a shill for big pharma or big business – or big pizza.
One bright spot in this gloomy scenario is that the superspreaders of conspiracy theories (Facebook, YouTube, etc.) have taken action this time. They’re taking down dangerous nonsense such as the faux-documentary “plandemic”, a litany of corona conspiracies that managed to go viral.
While there is a titanium hard core of anti-vaxxers and other conspiracy theorists (and surveys consistently show that if you believe one, you’re likely to believe them all), that doesn’t mean there’s no point trying.
It’s just more productive to save your energy and resources for people who might be unsure, or curious, those people who just share these theories because they’re interesting, or have funny memes, or slick production values, or are just more interesting than being lectured by politicians to stay at home.
This is where the public health experts will need to focus their attention if, and when, a treatment arrives. They’ll have to hone their communication skills and ensure they steal the oxygen from the anti-vaxxers.
There’s a broader preventive technique, too, which is critical not just for preventing the spread of coronavirus conspiracies, but to make the world a better place overall.
And that’s improving science literacy in the entire population, and particularly in schools. Ensuring students understand logical arguments and how to spot bulls..t is, I reckon, more important than teaching them not to split infinitives. They need to know how to find trusted sources online, how to spot if someone’s trying to sell them a magic coronavirus cure.
To summarise the late, great Carl Sagan’s Baloney Detection Kit, they need to learn to find and verify facts, ignore self-professed authorities, think of alternative explanations, understand the flow between premises and conclusions, and explore the range of logical fallacies.
It’s so frustrating to see these attacks on science, when science is saving us, and attacks on vaccinations, when they’re what will save us next.
It’s enough to make me want to crawl back behind the grassy knoll.
Tory Shepherd is a columnist for the Adelaide Advertiser.