Move over Scientology, there’s a new deity in town

Kanye West’s exclusive ‘Sunday Services’ couldn’t have come soon enough, writes Victoria Hannaford. Because the sheen really had worn off Tinseltown’s previous cult, ahem, religion of choice.

If you’ve ever woken up on a Sunday morning enraged that you only have the same old religious services to choose from, there’s good news.

Forget boring churches, their staid music and the dearth of celebs in pews, because Kanye West has noted the keenly felt absence of a place to worship while listening to choral renditions of his songs (I’m sure there’s a word for this in German), and decided to do something about it.

He’s started up his own exclusive “Sunday Service”, complete with a large group of singers performing some of his biggest hits during what looks very much like a religious gathering.

And not a moment too soon, because the sheen has really worn off Tinseltown’s previous cult, ahem, religion of choice, Scientology.

Sorry Xenu, there’s a new deity in town, and his name is Yeezus — the moniker West gave himself and title of his sixth album (we really should have seen this coming).

Morning prayer by DMX #SundayService pic.twitter.com/AGpMgUyF9U

— Kim Kardashian West (@KimKardashian) March 17, 2019

The poster boy for believing his own hype — let’s not forget his 2013 single I Am A God — has taken it to the next level, but Hollywood seems to have been completely sucked in.

Celebs including Courtney Love, Katy Perry, Orlando Bloom, Paris Jackson, Busy Phillips, and music producers Rick Rubin and Diplo have seen fit to forgo a sleep in, or traditional religion on Sundays.

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Instead, paparazzi have captured them showing their devotion by attending West’s invite-only services, which have been running for a few months at the California home he shares with wife Kim Kardashian West and their daughters North and Chicago, and son, who bears the thematically on point name Saint.

Sunday Service 🌙 ⭐️ 🚀 pic.twitter.com/b6wFWjALHC

— Kim Kardashian West (@KimKardashian) March 10, 2019

There are a lot of monochrome outfits and flowing robes, and West is out in front bashing away at a keyboard and crooning off mic, very possibly because he usually sings a bit off-key. It’s a smart move, because hearing newly-minted spiritual leader Yeezus warbling out of tune could quickly challenge even his most faithful.

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There’s scant official information about these weekly shindigs, but Kardashian West’s social media has delivered an insider’s view. She’s posted tantalising video snippets, which also show North dancing up a storm, yet the true purpose of the services remains unclear.

If the vibe is hip-hop Hillsong, what are these celebs worshipping? Kanye? His rampant ego? Nothing? Themselves?

The lord above only knows.

Sunday Service captured today by the 🐐 himself, Nick Knight. pic.twitter.com/2C2FWRbscb

— TeamKanyeDaily (@TeamKanyeDaily) March 4, 2019

Kanye has been captured at a service singing the infamous lyric “poopity scoop” from the tune Lift Yourself, so it seems he’s not worried about being sacrilegious. Perhaps he’s a merciful god, even unto himself.

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And while Kanye’s services really put a pall on the average sermon, where the most exciting thing that could happen is a second sip of communion wine, they could prove an interesting blueprint for those of us who aren’t so into traditional religious services, but wouldn’t mind a choral rendition of some classic tunes once a week — minus the invite-only celebs and their massive egos running rampant.

So if anyone’s keen to start up a community Cold Chisel choir, it could prove a tempting alternative to a Sunday lie in, and a potent counterpoint to the ridiculousness of Tinseltown’s latest fad.

Just throw on some robes — even a flannie will do — start up the Khe Sanh harmonies, and I’ll be there.

Victoria Hannaford is a writer and producer for RendezView.

@vhannaford