Claire Harvey: Ten upsides to the coronavirus pandemic

COVID-19 was something none of us could have prepared for. But for those of us lucky enough to still be standing, it’s these small moments that have served in getting us through, writes Claire Harvey.

I don’t know about you, but as lockdown eases I’m simultaneously relieved and shattered.

Everything’s uncertain. Axes are falling. I’m fretting for school-leavers, jobseekers, scared kids and oldies all at once. Plus I think I have grounds for a lawsuit against the Lindt & Sprungli Group for the COVID kilos, although I won’t know for sure until I try on a non-elasticated waistband.

I went looking for rays of light this week, and here they are (with this disclaimer: COVID-19 has caused death, unemployment and misery for millions, and these thoughts in no way diminish its magnitude).

1) The common experience. How often in today’s world of streaming and algorithms and boundless choice do we have something in common with the people next door, let alone the rest of the globe? This has been a shared human experience we haven’t had since Kony 2012 (and we all know what a fizzer that was) or possibly Halley’s comet (ditto). Maybe the commonality will make us all a little nicer to one another.

2) The schoolkids had a break. From each other, and from the playground-Instagram-bedroom-playground treadmill so many of them are trapped on. The cool kids and the nerds were, for the first time probably ever, doing exactly the same thing: not much.

Dogs have come out on top during COVID-19. Picture: iStock

3) Dogs are happy. The entire human pack has been within view at all times and there’s no need to stand at the gate barking to let the world know a rope toy is an inadequate substitute for a pat.

4) Many of us have saved money. I’ve weaned myself off the habitual (OK addicted) idle online shopping for activewear. In fact I’d be happy never to see yoga tights again.

5) We’ve made a 50-year leap forward in workplace relations. Flexibility will never again – I hope – be regarded by closed-minded managers as a bludge. Every boss has had a good insight into how it’s possible to get just as much productivity, if not more, from employees who are trustworthy enough to work from home. Simultaneously, the actual bludgers have been exposed. They’re the ones scheduling constant Zoom calls and appearing on them with suspiciously intense grooming.

6) Rugby league players are under curfew and nightclubs are closed for the foreseeable future. Fans of the game, like me, can enjoy a whole season without fear one of the game’s small handful of morons will grab someone’s vagina or poo in a shoe while attempting to find their room at a hotel. That leaves only drug scandals, domestic violence and grapple tackles to worry about.

Thankfully, our tradies have been kept busy during this period, and our homes have never looked better. Picture: iStock

7) The German cockroach infestation in the dishwasher has been resolved. This began shortly before lockdown: possibly the most nauseating kitchen event of my lifetime. The pest control guy said I shouldn’t be ashamed; it’s happened to lots of people – apparently the little bastards lay their eggs in cardboard boxes that come into the house with the groceries and then gravitate towards the dishwasher because it’s nice and warm. Anyway, just like everyone else, I’ve used lockdown to book a steady stream of plumbers, garden guys, pest controllers and sparkies to help make the house a more lovely place to be.

8) Tradies have been busy, thanks to the above: we’ve all used this time to make our houses happier. That’s good for the economy.

9) The scurrying has eased. Work travel will never go back to the manic pre-COVID levels, and that’s a good thing. Nobody needs to fly to Melbourne for an hour-long meeting. I suspect we’ll all ease up on ourselves a bit: the kids don’t actually need to do two or three extra-curricular activities. Saturdays can calm down a bit. It is OK to stay home and chill.

10) We’ve all had a chance to appreciate the immense value of good health. If you’re reading this, you’re one of the lucky ones. I’m grateful for the simple joy of feeling well.

Claire Harvey is the Deputy Editor of the Sunday Telegraph.

Originally published as Claire Harvey: Ten upsides to the coronavirus pandemic